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Titel: No One's Even Bleeding
Zustand: very good
Gently used. Expect delivery in 2-3 weeks. Buchnummer des Verkäufers 9781591291275-3
Inhaltsangabe: Hilarious story of an aspiring writer who spends five years as an L.A. public school substitute teacher. Tales of promiscuous PTA moms, drug induced misadventures of faculty members, and student/teacher romances make this a book that should convince most parents to send their kids to private school.
Auszug. © Nachdruck mit Genehmigung. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.: Substitute teaching opened my eyes to certain aspects of the world around me. For the first time in my life, I was forced to deal with people, on a daily basis, who were quite different from one another. And from me. Narrow Valley was changing. This once bastion of white conservatism was rapidly becoming a melting pot. Sometimes the pot boiled over, other times you were just afraid it would. Intolerance, on everyone's part, seemed to be constantly rearing its ugly head. Now I poke fun at a lot of people, but I don't really hate anyone. At least not just because of race, religion, or sexual preference. I like to think that when I DO hate someone, it's for a good reason. But this was not so for some of the people I encountered while subbing. And for some reason, my second year in the district is when I first started noticing these folks.
One time, I was sent to do an E.S.L. gym class. Since I had never heard the term E.S.L. before, I had no idea for what it stood. So I asked one of the coaches. "It stands for English as a Second Language," he explained. "Kids whose native language isn't English." The mere mention of E.S.L. apparently upset one of the other coaches. He was an older guy, late sixties, and a definite redneck.
"Ya know," he grumbled, "since not one of those little bastards speaks a single word of English, how in the hell is that phrase relevant? It's just wishful thinking on the part of the schools if you ask me. They should just call the damn thing M.S.L. as far as I'm concerned because most of these kids have about as much desire to learn Martian as they do English!" I sensed some hostility. This guy was quite a character. I had heard stories of how he'd walk through the locker room after class collecting any gym shorts he found on the benches while the kids were in the showers. The next day, the kids would say their shorts were stolen when he'd ask why they weren't dressed for class. "You'll have to buy another pair or take an 'F' for the day," he'd tell them. Then he'd sell them back their own shorts for a dollar and keep the money. I was appalled by both his bigotry and his extortion-like antics. Then I discovered he got out every day at twelve-fifteen... which meant full pay for a half day's work if he ever requested me as a sub. He became my new best buddy. But I digress.
The teacher had left a lesson plan that stated I could either take the class to the weight room, or have them play soccer. "Hmm, let me think about this," I wondered aloud. "I could spend an hour in a small, badly ventilated room with a bunch of foreign kids whose hygiene practices probably differ quite significantly from mine, or take attendance, roll out the balls, and dab on the sunblock." No contest.
We went out to the soccer field. I had forty, wired, little Mexican guys running around screaming, "Andale! Andale!" It was like being trapped in a Speedy Gonzalez cartoon. But God bless 'em, I had never seen a more enthusiastic high school P.E. class. All they wanted to do was play, from the opening bell to the closing one. Usually, kids would try to scam their way out of P.E. when they had a sub. Girls especially. Their three favorite excuses were, "I'm on my period", "I just got off my period", and "I'm about to start my period."
My standard response was, "Everyone plays... period."
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