The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands - Softcover

Schlessinger Laura

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0060520620 ISBN 13: 9780060520625

Verlag: Harper Perennial, 2006

Inhaltsangabe

The #1 National Bestseller

In her most provocative book yet, America's top radio talk show host, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they deserve in marriage.

Women want to be in love, get married and live happily ever after, yet countless women call Dr. Laura, unhappy in their marriages and seemingly at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for. In the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura provides real-life examples and real-life solutions on how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace desired in life.

Dr. Laura's simple principles have changed the lives of millions. Now they can change yours.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

One of the most popular hosts in radio history--with millions of listeners weekly--Dr. Laura Schlessinger has been offering no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of personal responsibility for more than 40 years. Her internationally syndicated radio program is now on SiriusXM Triumph Channel 111, and is streamed on the Internet and podcast.

She's a best-selling author of eighteen books, which range from the provocative (New York Times chart topper The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands) to the poignant (children's book Why Do You Love Me?). She's on Instagram and Facebook (with over 1.7 million followers), and her Call of the Day podcast has exceeded one hundred million downloads. She has raised millions for veterans and their families with her boutique, DrLauraDesigns.com, which benefits the Children of Fallen Patriots Foundation.

Dr. Laura holds a Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons, and received her post-doctoral certification in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling from the University of Southern California. She was in private practice for 12 years. She has been inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame, received an award from the Office of the Secretary of Defense for her Exceptional Public Service, and was the first woman ever to win the National Association of Broadcasters' prestigious Marconi Award for Network/Syndicated Personality.

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In her most provocative book yet, Dr. Laura urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage.

Women want to be in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Yet disrespect for men and disregard for the value, feelings, and needs of husbands has fast become the standard for male-female relations in America. Those two attitudes clash in unfortunate ways to create struggle and strife in what could be a beautiful relationship.

Countless women call Dr. Laura, unhappy in their marriages and seemingly at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for. Now, in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura shows you—with real-life examples and real-life solutions—how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace you want in your life.

Dr. Laura's simple principles have changed the lives of millions. Now they can change yours.

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The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

By Dr. Laura Schlessinger

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright © 2006 Dr. Laura Schlessinger
All right reserved.
ISBN: 0060520620

Chapter One

The Improper Care and Feeding of Husbands

I laughed when I heard the title of your new book. I thought, 'It won't happen. What woman would buy it? Who cares about us men?' There are a few things that men want so bad they would do anything for it. I think a good number of men want respect more than love. They like to feel they have some power. I nearly cry when you tell a woman caller to respect her husband. There is so much selfishness in the world -- in marriages. Prosperity has allowed women to be so independent, and thus so selfish. I always feel as though I come last -- my feelings come last, my needs come last."

Edgar

There isn't a day that goes by when I don't ask at least one woman caller on my radio program if she expects to stay married considering her hostile, dismissive, or undermining attitude and actions toward her husband. What is amazing is how surprised they all seem to imagine that their husbands might have a limit to how much they'll take before they tune out or turn away. What is even more amazing is that this insensitivity to their husbands' needs and feelings goes hand in hand with a hypersensitivity about any action or reaction from the men -- reactions that are usually more than reasonable.

Here's just one example of such a caller from my radio program the day before I began writing this chapter. This "Christian" woman has been married one year to a "Jewish" man, and they have a four-month-old son. Before they married she promised to raise their children Jewish, even though, obviously, neither one was truly invested in and committed to their religion (because, if they were, they would have married someone with whom they could share their faith). Now that it is Christmastime, she put up a tree and is already revving up for Easter egg hunts. "I don't want my children to miss out on all the wonderful holiday experiences I had as a child," she says to me by way of rationalizing her broken promise.

What was her question for me even after I reminded her of her promise and vows? Of course it was, "How can I get him to stop walking around angry and pouting?" That she betrayed her vow was easily dismissed, I think, by the double standard most women have about what they do and what their men do. If women change their minds, men must take it. When men change their minds, they're brutes.

One male listener wrote to me of his frustration with this double standard. He lamented that women need to understand how frustrating it is dealing with a double standard that only takes into account the woman's immediate needs or desires. It was his perception that everything the woman feels or needs is legitimate and very important, while anything related to the man is unimportant and selfish.

I think, as generalizations go, he has a good point. Try visiting various female-oriented Internet chat rooms, and you'll find cheering sections rallying behind women who trash their men, determined to leave them for trivial reasons ("He's not talkative enough," "I just don't feel complete," "I'm bored," or "He doesn't want me talking to my mother every day").

And while we're talking about double standards, let's not forget what happens in the bedroom. Women expect their men to "understand" when they're not interested in sex, but when the men don't or can't perform -- watch out!

What causes this double-standard mentality? In one big, hyphenated word: self-centeredness. And what is the source of this self-centeredness? I believe it's a result of the women's movement, with its condemnation of just about everything male as evil, stupid, and oppressive, and the denigration of female and male roles in families, as well as the loss of family functioning as a result of divorce, day care, dual careers, and the glorification of shacking up and unwed motherhood by choice. These are the core destructive influences that result in women not appreciating that they are perfected, as are men, when they are bonded in wedlock and have obligations to family.

The result is women get married thinking largely about what their marriage and their man can do for them, and not what they can do for their men. And when there is so little emphasis on the giving, the nitpicking and pettiness chews up and spits out what could have been a good marriage.

Cindy's e-mail addresses the issue of"giving" and "doing":

"I have been married for ten years and I had a huge problem with Caring and Feeding my husband. I did not know the time my mother put into caring and feeding my dad until I was having difficulty in my marriage. It was then she helped me understand a wife's role. My generation (I'm in my 30s) was raised in a very 'me' culture: If we're not happy, then no one will be. Luckily, my mom and dad taught me that in order to be happy and fulfilled, you must help, love, and care . . . for others! Even with a great home life as a child, I didn't know that was so true in a marriage. I just thought you either have a great marriage or you don't -- that somehow marriage existed outside your efforts.

That was just one of my misassumptions. Another was that he should be as knowledgeable about things as my dad, with whom I constantly compared him. I constantly nagged instead of encouraged. Then my dad gave me advice on how the male ego worked. I followed his direction, being encouraging and essentially being his cheerleader. Things changed dramatically.

My mother's advice, after my many mess-ups, was to love him. Now, that sounds pretty basic, but I now truly understand what the word 'love' means. It's a profoundly tender, passionate affection for someone; an affectionate concern for their well-being. God's greatest gift, after life itself, is love. God created him for you. Love your husband with all your heart and treat him like the gift from God that he is."

Continues...

Excerpted from The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbandsby Dr. Laura Schlessinger Copyright © 2006 by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Harper Perennial
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2006
• ISBN 10: 0060520620
• ISBN 13: 9780060520625
• Einband: Tapa blanda
• Sprache: Englisch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 208
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar