Complete Confidence Updated Edition: A Handbook – Overcome Anxiety and Self-Criticism with Powerful Emotional Techniques - Softcover

Hankin, Sheenah

Softcover

ISBN 10: 006154454X ISBN 13: 9780061544545

Verlag: William Morrow Paperbacks, 2008

Inhaltsangabe

Confident people react positively and successfully to life's problems and challenges. Those who lack confidence often view themselves as victims—blaming others or bingeing on drugs, sex, food, or alcohol to mask their feelings of shame or worthlessness.

In Complete Confidence, renowned psychotherapist Dr. Sheenah Hankin points the way to a confident life free of self-criticism, anxiety, and immature anger. Her Winning Hand of Comfort technique is a clear, concise, and powerful prescription for dealing with everyday situations—from resolving conflicts to ending unhealthy habits like overeating, complaining, and procrastinating. This essential handbook will teach you how to retrain your brain to manage your emotions and put your problems into perspective. You will learn how to calm down, clarify your thinking, challenge your blame habit, comfort your negative feelings, and achieve confidence. That is Dr. Hankin's promise.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Named one of New York's most popular psychotherapists by the New York Times Magazine, Sheenah Hankin, Ph.D., is codeveloper of Cognitive Appraisal Therapy and coauthor of Succeeding with Difficult Clients. She has conducted workshops throughout North America and Europe and lives with her husband in New York City.

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Confident people react positively and successfully to life's problems and challenges. Those who lack confidence often view themselves as victims—blaming others or bingeing on drugs, sex, food, or alcohol to mask their feelings of shame or worthlessness.

In Complete Confidence, renowned psychotherapist Dr. Sheenah Hankin points the way to a confident life free of self-criticism, anxiety, and immature anger. Her Winning Hand of Comfort technique is a clear, concise, and powerful prescription for dealing with everyday situations—from resolving conflicts to ending unhealthy habits like overeating, complaining, and procrastinating. This essential handbook will teach you how to retrain your brain to manage your emotions and put your problems into perspective. You will learn how to calm down, clarify your thinking, challenge your blame habit, comfort your negative feelings, and achieve confidence. That is Dr. Hankin's promise.

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Complete Confidence Updated Edition

A HandbookBy Sheenah Hankin

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright © 2008 Sheenah Hankin
All right reserved.
ISBN: 9780061544545

Chapter One

Confidence:
The Path to Freedom

To be confident a person must walk a path to freedom, arrivingat a place called Emotional Maturity. The people you willmeet there are competent, high achievers. Cheerful and calm,they are free of anxiety and depression. They will welcome you, forthey are not shy. When annoyed, they will set a good example withtheir straightforward honesty. They play the game of life with a WinningHand, and you can join them if you make the journey.

The path to Emotional Maturity can free up everyone's inborn,natural confidence. Like any journey, there is much to gain and somenecessary losses. On this pathway to confidence you will discover newways of thinking and acting, and gain the emotional managementskills that are the bedrock of complete confidence.

What you will lose are the immature emotions of childhood andadolescence. Fears of judgment and correction will be gone. There willbe no more shaming self-criticism, and no helpless self-pity, for confident people are self-reliant and rarely need help. Instead of feelingguilt about not pleasing other people or resentment about having to please them, you will listen to yourself and do only what you believeto be right and necessary. And to further lighten the burden of emotionalimmaturity, you'll learn to calm and comfort emotions internally,within the brain, ending dependence on binges and addictions,the insecurity blankets so many people cling to.

"But Sheenah," you might ask (my clients call me by my first nameand I hope you will, too), "this is some promise you are making. Is itmere psychobabble?" Good question. Let me answer it. Notice howyou are dissuading rather than encouraging yourself to try. Realizehow your doubts about our confidence project are built on dark predictionsof disappointment and failure. If you see success as unlikelyor even impossible, you undermine your confidence.

Begin now by fighting against any tendency that will undermineyour effort. "This won't work." "I've tried before and failed." "Thisbook is probably just the same old self-help stuff." "People can'tchange." These ideas are self-defeating, and in a way self-pitying andhumiliating. You are not so powerless.

Instead, listen to the opportunity knocking at your door right now.It's not the sweepstakes guy ready to hand you a check for a milliondollars. This is an opportunity that doesn't require any luck or goodfortune. The Winning Hand knocks on your door. I stand waitingwith my hand outstretched to take yours and walk forward into confidence and success. Confidence is worth more than a million dollars, somake the effort for yourself.

Hold out your hands and marvel at how much they do for you.They protect you when you fall. They feed you. They hold the handsof those you love. They massage, caress, and arouse. They wavegood-bye.

You have a hand in your own troubles, too. So, as you hold yourhands in front of you, look hard at your fingers. They can also pokeand point in criticism and accusation at others and yourself.

The mission of this book is to enable you to take yourself in hand.

I can help you gain the confidence you need to retire your LosingHand. Playing with a Winning Hand means you will activate everytalent you have, eagerly take every opportunity you are given, andcalmly solve every problem you face.

It is time to stop blaming yourself and others, to stop pointing afinger at the flaws you falsely perceive as preventing you from living asuccessful life, to stop generating shame and self-pity. It is time to giveup the habits of a loser, and to think and act like a winner.

Partners in Confidence

Partners starting a business sign a contract. As my future partner,please read this contract carefully before you sign it.

"But Sheenah," you ask, "why should I trust you? I haven't evenmet you." If you want to know more about me before signing the contract,first read the next section. I hope you will then agree to be mypartner in confidence.

The Commitment to Confidence Contract

1. I will read Complete Confidence from beginning to end.
2. I will practice all the strategies and behaviors that are required for a confident life, and repeat them over and over again so that I can learn to become confident. (People learn by rehearsal.)
3. I will be very persistent because it is not intelligence, money, orgood luck that leads to success; it is persistence.
4. I will have faith that I can learn to be more confident. I will notlisten to my feelings if they make me feel that I will fail.
5. I will begin to read Complete Confidence today and I will set time aside every day until I finish it -- I will not put off this project.

I commit to the aforementioned conditions:

Your Signature/Date

I, Sheenah Hankin, commit to being your partner. I promise that the methods I describe in my book work when you fulfill yourcommitment, which I trust that you will.

Your partner:
Sheenah Hankin

Meet Sheenah, Your Partner in Confidence

Unlike therapists who reveal nothing about themselves, I prefer theopenness of self-disclosure. So, I'll tell you a little about myself. In mybusy practice in New York, I invite every client to ask me personalquestions, for people are usually curious about shrinks. What are theirprivate lives like? Are they secretly nuts like those depicted in themovies and on television? Do they have children? How do their childrenand marriages turn out? Are they obsessed with sex? Are theycompetent and confident? Do they have enough professional and reallifeexperience to be helpful?

Continues...

Excerpted from Complete Confidence Updated Editionby Sheenah Hankin Copyright © 2008 by Sheenah Hankin. Excerpted by permission.
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Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: William Morrow Paperbacks
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2008
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 006154454X
• ISBN 13: 9780061544545
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 272
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: HarperCollins Publishers, Product Safety Manager; enquiries@harpercollins.ie; ; HarperCollins, Macken House, 39/40 Mayor Street Upper; Dublin 1; D01 C9W8; Irland