Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst - Softcover

Rick Kirschner, .

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0071785728 ISBN 13: 9780071785723

Verlag: McGraw-Hill Education, 2012

Inhaltsangabe

The classic guide to bringing out the best in people at their worst—updated with even more can’t-standable people!

Dealing with People You Can’t Stand has been helping good people deal with bad behavior in a positive, professional way for nearly two decades.

Unfortunately, as the world becomes smaller and time more compressed, new difficult people are being made all the time. So Kirschner and Brinkman have updated their global bestseller to help you wring positive results from even the most twisted interactions you’re likely to experience today.

Learn how to get things done and get along when you’re dealing with people who have the uncanny ability to sabotage, derail, and interfere with your plans, needs, and wants. Learn how to:

• Use sophisticated listening techniques to unlock the doors to people’ s minds, hearts, and deepest needs
• Apply “take-charge” skills that turn conflict into cooperation by reducing the differences between people
• Transform the destructive behavior of Tanks, Snipers, Know-It-Alls, Whiners, Martyrs, Meddlers, and other difficult types of people

Whether you’re dealing with a coworker trying to take credit for your work, a distant family member who knows no personal bounds, or a loud cell phone talker on line at the grocery store, Dealing with People You Can’t Stand gives you the tools for bringing out the best in people at their worst.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick Brinkman are naturopathic physicians, professional speakers, and trainers.

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

DEALING WITH PEOPLE YOU CAN'T STAND

How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst

By Rick Brinkman, Rick Kirschner

The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-07-178572-3

Contents

Acknowledgments
Introduction
Part 1. Getting to Know the People You Can't Stand
1. The 10 (+ 3) Most Unwanted List
2. The Lens of Understanding
3. The Road to Hell Is Paved with Good Intentions
Part 2. Surviving Through
4. From Conflict to Cooperation
5. Listen to Understand
6. Reach a Deeper Understanding
7. Speak to Be Understood
8. Get What You Project and Expect
9. How to Change Your Attitude
Part 3. Bringing Out the Best in People at Their Worst
10. The Tank
11. The Sniper
12. The Know-It-All
13. The Think-They-Know-It-All
14. The Grenade
15. The Yes Person
16. The Maybe Person
17. The Nothing Person
18. The Whiner
19. The No Person
20. The Judge
21. The Meddler
22. The Martyr
23. What If People Can't Stand You?
Part 4. Communication in a Digital Age
24. Communication and the Challenge of Technology
25. The Eight Ounces of Prevention in Phone Communication
26. The Eight Ounces of Prevention in E-mail Communication
Afterword: How to Take the Big Step of Applying the Little Steps in This 
Book

Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

The 10 (+3) Most Unwanted List

In your repertoire of communication skills, there exist varying degrees ofknowledge and ignorance, with their consequent interpersonal strengths andweaknesses. As a result, you may have no trouble at all dealing with that overlyor unemotional person whom no one else can stand. You may have more difficultywith people who whine and are negative, or you may find dealing with aggressivepeople to be the most challenging. Passive people may frustrate you, or you mayhave a low tolerance for braggarts and blowhards. Likewise, you probablyfrustrate several people yourself because everybody is somebody's difficultperson at least some of the time.

You may agree or disagree with this or that person about who is the difficultperson and who is not. Nevertheless, there is a certain consensus in politesociety about who difficult people are and what it is they do that others finddifficult. We've identified 10 specific behavior patterns that sane peopleresort to when they feel threatened or thwarted, which represent their strugglewith or withdrawal from undesired circumstances, followed by three patterns ofbad behavior more likely to be problematic in families. Here are 10 (+ 3)difficult behaviors that represent normal people at their worst!

The Tank

It was a beautiful day. The sky was clear, and Jim could hear birds singingoutside his window. He was moving forward on the project, and the office washumming with activity and teamwork.

Suddenly, there was a familiar and inescapable sound!

It reminded Jim of the sound of tank treads rumbling down the hallway. It seemedas though the ground actually began to tremble, and Jim could almost hear thedistant ping of radar being activated. As Jim listened, Joe "The Tank" Bintnerrounded the corner and came into view. Raising his arm like a turret-mountedcannon, he pointed in Jim's direction. Somehow, Jim could sense the cross hairslocking on to a target ... himself! In desperation, he mentally waved a whiteflag, but the Tank continued moving in his direction. As he stared in shock atthe cannonlike finger now pointed at his face, Bintner unleashed a verbalblasting of accusation and scorn.

"... You're an idiot, a moron. You're completely incompetent and anembarrassment to the human race! You must be a genetic mistake. You've beenworking on this for two weeks, and you're already three weeks behind. I won'tlisten to any more of your excuses. Pay attention, because this is what you aregoing to do ..."

Out of the corner of his eye, Jim could see that everyone else in the office hadeither run for cover or was standing frozen, paralyzed with fear. Like the soundof distant thunder, Bintner barked out his orders. Then, as suddenly as itbegan, the determined assault ended. Bintner was moving off in a new direction,and Jim was left sitting amid the rubble of his best efforts and goodintentions.

The Tank is confrontational, pointed, and angry, the ultimate in pushy andaggressive behavior.

The Sniper

Sue had never worked harder to prepare a report. This was the big day, and ifshe could deliver it in a professional and polished manner, there was a goodchance she would be rewarded with a promotion. All eyes were on her as she beganher presentation. She knew all her numbers would fit into place, and she couldsense that victory was just around the corner.

Then, as she made her move to the bottom line, there was a stirring like therustling of leaves, and she saw a slight movement off to the side of the room.That's when she heard the shot:

"Hey," said an insistent, scoffing voice. "That idea of yours reminds me ofsomething I saw in a book. I think it was in Chapter 11!"

First a solitary, diabolical laugh filled the room, but then one uneasy chuckleafter another joined it. Sue's mind wandered, her concentration broken, thepoint she was about to make lost. "Huh?" she mumbled awkwardly, as she lookedaround for the source of the disruption. And there, grinning like a Cheshire catwas the Sniper, preparing to take another shot.

"Maybe it was Chapter 13? Ha ha. Don't mind me. Please go on. I'm justbeginning to understand how little you actually know about this subject."

Whether through rude comments, biting sarcasm, or a well-timed roll of theeyes, making you look foolish is the Sniper's specialty.

The Grenade

It had been a good day for getting work done. A pleasant breeze drifted lazilythrough the window as Ralph double-checked the numbers before him. That's whenBob walked into the room, his face a rigid mask, hands balled into fists. Ralphcould sense that something was wrong, but a second glance at Bob's close-lippedexpression prompted him to mind his own business. Bob passed Ralph's desk, andas he did, he brushed against a stack of papers perched precariously on thedesktop. The papers tumbled to the ground like so many autumn leaves drifting inthe breeze. Ralph didn't mean to say anything, but in spite of himself, a tinyvoice escaped his throat, "Careful, there, Bob!"

In a timeless moment, Bob whirled about, eyes widening, facial musclestwitching, hair standing on end, arms trembling, as his voice exploded:

"Why don't you watch where you put that %#@*& stuff, anyway #@!&?*!!@! How the*&!? was I supposed to know that was there!? svcvI don't know why I even botherto show up here! Nobody...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: McGraw-Hill Education
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2012
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0071785728
• ISBN 13: 9780071785723
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 304
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: McGraw-Hill Education; https://www.mheducation.co.in/; ; Via Verdi, 8; Assago Milano; 20090; Italien