The first comprehensive guide to helping teens with autism—from the acclaimed authors of Overcoming Autism
With an estimated half a million Americans under twenty-six on the autism spectrum, this book offers the reassurance, solace, and practical solutions that so many people are searching for. Following up on their work in Overcoming Autism, which offered advice for teaching young children on the spectrum, Lynn Koegel and Claire LaZebnik now present strategies for working with teens and young adults living with this complex condition. Addressing universal parental concerns, from first crushes and a changing body to how to succeed in college and beyond, Growing Up on the Spectrum is a beacon of hope and wisdom for parents, therapists, and educators alike.
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Claire LaZebnik is a published novelist and magazine writer. She lives with her husband and four children in Pacific Palisades, California.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgements
SECTION I - Getting Started
1. Introduction
2. Terms, Interventions, and Techniques
SECTION II - Making and Maintaining Good Friendships
1. Introduction and Some General Rules About Friendship
2. The Art of Conversation
3. Outings and Get-togethers
4. Parties
5. Dealing with Bullying and Peer Pressure
SECTION III - Making and Maintaining Successful Romantic Relationships
1. Introduction
2. Dating
3. Sex
SECTION IV - Making School Successful
1. Introduction
2. Middle and High School: Supported Independence
3. College
SECTION V - Beyond the College Years
1. Introduction
2. Jobs
3. Living Conditions
4. Legal Planning
SECTION VI - Improving Daily Life
1. Introduction
2. Walking Out the Door Looking Good
3. Managing Behavior
4. Managing Modern Technology
5. Improving Coexisting (aka Comorbid) Conditions
An Afterword for Educators by Robert L. Koegel, PhD
Resources
Index
Also by Lynn Kern Koegel and Claire LaZebnik
Overcoming Autism: Finding the Answers, Strategies, and Hope That Can Transform a Child’s Life
VIKING
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.
Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario,
Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)
Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
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(a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd)
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(a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd)
Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank,
Johannesburg 2196, South Africa
Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
First published in 2009 by Viking Penguin, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Copyright © Lynn Kern Koegel and Claire LaZebnik, 2009
All rights reserved
While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
Koegel, Lynn Kern.
Growing up on the spectrum: a guide to life, love, and learning for teens and young adults
with autism and Asperger’s / by Lynn Kern Koegel and Claire LaZebnik.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
eISBN : 978-1-101-01653-4
1. Autism in adolescence—Popular works. 2. Asperger’s syndrome in adolescence—
Popular works. I. LaZebnik, Claire Scovell. II. Title.
RJ506.A9K635 2009
616.85’88200835—dc22 2008041835
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrightable materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
For our Roberts:
We’re incredibly lucky to have your skill and enthusiasm supporting us in both our personal and professional lives.
Acknowledgments
First and foremost, we’d like to thank our children (six in total) for bringing so much happiness into our lives and for selflessly agreeing to let us tell some of their personal stories. Extra thanks go to Andrew for his contributions to this book, including all of the illustrations and many wonderful and honest personal essays. We also appreciate the support from our larger family—our parents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends—who listen, laugh, and cry with us.
We’d also like to express our sincere appreciation to the children with autism whom we’ve met along the way and to their families. The world is a richer place because of people like them.
Next, we are so grateful to everyone who contributed a personal essay. Our book has been hugely enriched by their expertise and their willingness to share their perspectives and personal stories about the trials and tribulations they’ve endured in the always unpredictable world of autism.
Thanks to those who proofread this book for us—Bob Koegel, Rob LaZebnik, Brittany Koegel, Lee Kern, Whitney Smith, Rosy Fredeen, and Ashley Koegel—for all their helpful thoughts and comments. We also want to give a shout-out to the wonderful graduate students at UCSB, who are the best and the brightest, who enthusiastically work with people on the spectrum, and who have dedicated their lives to helping these individuals. The future of children on the spectrum is in good hands with people like you. Dr. Rosy Fredeen deserves special thanks for her skill, expertise, constant cheerfulness, wonderful personality, and feedback and suggestions for this book.
We also greatly appreciate Rebecca Hunt for her impressive speed-reading skills, thoughtful comments, and enthusiasm throughout this entire process, and also Alexis Hurley for her continual support and encouragement over the years.
Support for the research described in this book has been provided by the National Institute of Mental Health, the Department of Education, the First 5 California, and the families who have generously supported the UCSB Koegel Autism Center. We’d also like to express special thanks to the Kelly Family Foundation, the Kind World Foundation, and Eli and Edythe L. Broad—their extraordinary support of the Autism and Asperger’s Center, housed at UCSB, has greatly enhanced the lives of individuals on the spectrum.
For more information on the Pivotal Response Treatment procedures described in this book go to www.education.ucsb.edu/autism.
SECTION I
Getting Started
1. Introduction
CLAIRE
In 2004, when Dr. Koegel and I finished writing our first book together (Overcoming Autism: Finding the Answers, Strategies, and Hope That Can Transform a Child’s Life, Viking/Penguin), my son Andrew was just entering middle school, and the personal essays I included in the book were a look back at the first ten to twelve years of his life.
He is, at the moment I write this, currently finishing up his sophomore year of high school. By the time this book is published, he will be a junior.
A couple of years ago, I submitted an essay to the New York Times “Modern Love” column that was published the following month. I wrote about my son’s growing interest in girls and my fears...
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