Bounceback Parenting: A Field Guide for Creating Connection, Not Perfection - Softcover

Marquess, Alissa

Softcover

ISBN 10: 014313177X ISBN 13: 9780143131779

Verlag: TarcherPerigee, 2018

Inhaltsangabe

Looking for more connection with your kids--and more fun, too? Welcome to the Bounceback Parenting League!

This insightful and empowering book is more than just another parenting guide. It's a playbook filled with simple yet powerful "secret missions" for parents who want to recharge, refresh and restart in a positive new way.

Filled with simple challenges, journal prompts with room to write, and inspiring advice to try today, this is a game-changing resource for overwhelmedmoms and dads everywhere.

Get ready for your first mission....

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Alissa Marquess is a mom to three and the founder of Bounceback Parenting, where she helps parents build loving, resilient relationships with their kids. She has a built a large and loyal community of readers across many social media platforms.

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Chapter One

Are You Ready to Become a Bounceback Parent?

Welcome, recruit!

Are you ready to feel more capable and confident, and less overwhelmed and guilty as a parent? Are you ready for connection, not perfection? You're in the right place!

You hold in your hands a field guide that will help you become a Bounceback Parent who can embrace a mindset of growth and learning. Bounceback Parents are all about connection, not perfection. This way of thinking about parenting tends to help people lighten up and enjoy parenting more.

Hi, I'm Alissa Marquess, a mom to three and the founder of Bounceback Parenting. I'm so glad you've joined us. I'll serve as your director of ops for Bounceback Parenting League.

Why Bounceback Parenting?

When I first had kids, I was totally unprepared for the huge emotional upheaval I was thrown into. I found myself struggling to learn how to deal with anger and fears I'd never experienced (at least not at this level) and learning how to take care of myself while caring for small people, all while frequently being utterly exhausted. Oh, and I wanted to be a connected, loving mom too.

What I didn't know at the beginning of this journey is that parenting would be the ultimate training in resilience. I had to learn to bounce back over and over again when I would stumble, and I've stumbled a lot.

Sometimes bouncing back has been extremely humbling; I've had to reexamine my assumptions and change my perspective. Sometimes it's been invigorating when I can bounce back with more knowledge, a new parenting tool, or a deeper commitment to building the connected relationships I treasure. Either way I'm always learning, and to me, being a Bounceback Parent means seeing the challenges in parenting as opportunities for growth. I believe everybody is capable of growing and learning, starting from right where they are.

All of the missions in this book will lead you to a Bounceback Parenting outlook. The Bounceback Parenting framework gives you the ability to be a work in progress yet also enjoy your kids and parenting as you learn.

Bounceback Parenting Credo

We build resilient, connected families by having a growth mindset in parenting.

We believe everyone can learn and grow, starting from right where they are-by choosing to look at past mistakes and current challenges not as indications of failure but as the foundation for growth and resilience.

We seek out everyday connections-by finding joy in the ordinary, nurturing open communication, and looking for unexpected moments to connect.

We practice compassionate self-care-by getting to know and accept ourselves, learning to notice our own needs, and taking steps to tend to those needs.

We empower others-by building on strengths, allowing for growth, and expecting the best from the people around us.

We give ourselves permission to pause-by reflecting on what we've learned, celebrating wins and honoring losses, and creating space to be intentional.

Connection, not perfection!

Why Secret Missions?

As a mom, I sometimes take myself way too seriously. Parenting is the task I was determined to do perfectly. So when I had kids, I buckled down to be a good mom.

Only problem was . . . what the heck did that mean?

I looked outward, grasping at one style of parenting or another, trying to match myself to their standards. I craved so badly some assurance that I was more than just okay; I wanted to know I was a really good mom.

And any time I would make a mistake it felt horrible.

I felt guilty that I wasn't living up to my own expectations, much less those of the people around me.

Finally, I cracked.

The picture I had built up in my mind of a good mom was so huge that it crushed me. And, thankfully, that's what changed my mindset.

I had to make a change in order to stop feeling resentful and exhausted. I started to look for small, everyday actions I could take to improve and stopped trying to constantly measure up to such huge ideals.

The idea of parenting secret missions was part of my arsenal for changing my mindset. Sometimes we need to surprise ourselves out of a perfection mindset.

Rather than feeling like I had to be perfect and revamp everything I was doing, I'd come up with a secret mission for myself to let me lighten up and experiment a little bit.

Over time my mindset changed, and this has been key to becoming a Bounceback Parent. Instead of looking at our mistakes or missteps as indication that our parenting is doomed, we need a growth mindset about parenting. Parenting secret missions let you take this on.

When you do a mission in this book, think like you're an investigating agent making observations and staying curious. You can ask, "What will this do? How will it work for me?" Give something a try; see how you feel and jot notes in your field guide about your experience. The missions are low-risk, with the potential of high rewards, and most important, they get you unstuck.

How to Use This Field Guide

All the operations, briefings, and missions in this book will lead you toward connection, not perfection. You can read it in order, or pick it up to "bounce back" when your parenting is feeling heavy or off track.

Consider starting with basic training to learn about the growth mindset, as this will be a theme throughout the book, but if you are feeling a particular need for any section, jump right into it.

You'll find symbols throughout the book for easy navigation.

Indicates a secret mission. You'll be able to see from the title what the objective of the mission is. When you see one of these symbols, put on your investigative-agent thinking cap: get curious and get ready to shift perspective on something in parenting.

Each mission contains one or two assignments. When you see this symbol, you'll know this is a specific way to take action.

Each operation contains field notes sections with journal prompts as well. You can write on these pages, add inspirational quotes, and answer the questions to make this book your own. This will help you apply operation insights to your unique family and situations.

When you see this symbol, it indicates that you can find more resources in our online headquarters at bouncebackparenting.com /HQ.

Permission Slip

I want this book to be a notebook for you-a book used, reused, dog-eared, and tattered, and then flipped through again. Pages scribbled all over on the front and the back and notes taken. I give you permission right now to write in this book and bookmark your favorite pages. I give you permission to open it in the middle or read it from back to front.

One more tip: The most powerful tool I've found for continually growing my ability to parent positively is to do a weekly check-in. You can find a format for doing your own weekly check-in in chapter five, "Operation Pumpkin Seed." As you work through this book, I suggest taking up the habit of checking in with yourself each week. Grab a notebook so you can keep these reflections together. This can be simple and take a short amount of time. Each week look back and look forward. In this way you'll be able to be more patient with yourself as you see that you are making progress. You can find printable weekly...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: TarcherPerigee
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2018
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 014313177X
• ISBN 13: 9780143131779
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 192
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar