Don’t think about why you’re applying. Select a topic for entirely strategic reasons. Choose the coolest supervisor. Write only to deadlines. Expect people to hold your hand. Become “that” student.
When it comes to a masters or PhD program, most graduate students don’t deliberately set out to fail. Yet, of the nearly 500,000 people who start a graduate program each year, up to half will never complete their degree. Books abound on acing the admissions process, but there is little on what to do once the acceptance letter arrives. Veteran graduate directors Kevin D. Haggerty and Aaron Doyle have set out to demystify the world of advanced education. Taking a wry, frank approach, they explain the common mistakes that can trip up a new graduate student and lay out practical advice about how to avoid the pitfalls. Along the way they relate stories from their decades of mentorship and even share some slip-ups from their own grad experiences.
The litany of foul-ups is organized by theme and covers the grad school experience from beginning to end: selecting the university and program, interacting with advisors and fellow students, balancing personal and scholarly lives, navigating a thesis, and creating a life after academia. Although the tone is engagingly tongue-in-cheek, the lessons are crucial to anyone attending or contemplating grad school. 57 Ways to Screw Up in Grad School allows you to learn from others’ mistakes rather than making them yourself.
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An Introduction to Screwing Up,
Who Are I?,
Gendered Pronouns,
Thesis vs. Dissertation?,
The Screw-Ups,
Starting Out,
1 Do Not Think about Why You Are Applying,
2 Ignore the Market,
3 Stay at the Same University,
4 Follow the Money Blindly,
5 Do an Unfunded PhD,
6 Do an Interdisciplinary PhD,
7 Believe Advertised Completion Times,
8 Ignore the Information the University Provides You,
9 Expect the Money to Take Care of Itself,
Supervisors,
10 Go It Alone and Stay Quiet,
11 Choose the Coolest Supervisor,
12 Have Co-Supervisors,
13 Do Not Clarify Your Supervisor's (or Your Own) Expectations,
14 Avoid Your Supervisor and Committee,
15 Stay in a Bad Relationship,
16 Expect People to Hold Your Hand,
Managing Your Program,
17 Concentrate Only on Your Thesis,
18 Expect to Write the Perfect Comprehensive Exam,
19 Select a Topic for Entirely Strategic Reasons,
20 Do Not Teach, or Teach a Ton of Courses,
21 Do Not Seek Teaching Instruction,
22 Move Away from the University Before Finishing Your Degree,
23 Postpone Those Tedious Approval Processes,
24 Organize Everything Only in Your Head,
25 Do Not Attend Conferences, or Attend Droves of Conferences,
Your Work and Social Life,
26 Concentrate Solely on School,
27 Expect Friends and Family to Understand,
28 Socialize Only with Your Clique,
29 Get a Job!,
Writing,
30 Write Only Your PhD Thesis,
31 Postpone Publishing,
32 Cover Everything,
33 Do Not Position Yourself,
34 Write Only to Deadlines,
35 Abuse Your Audience,
Your Attitude and Actions,
36 Expect to Be Judged Only on Your Work,
37 Have a Thin Skin,
38 Be Inconsiderate,
39 Become "That" Student,
40 Never Compromise,
41 Gossip,
42 Say Whatever Pops into Your Head on Social Media,
Delicate Matters,
43 Assume That the University Is More Inclusive Than Other Institutions,
44 Rush into a Legal Battle,
45 Get Romantically Involved with Faculty,
46 Cheat and Plagiarize,
Am I Done Yet?: On Finishing,
47 Skip Job Talks,
48 Expect to Land a Job in a Specific University,
49 Expect People to Hire You to Teach Your Thesis,
50 Turn Down Opportunities to Participate in Job Searches,
51 Neglect Other People's Theses,
52 Get an Unknown External Examiner,
53 Do Not Understand the Endgame,
54 Be Blasé about Your Defense,
55 Do Not Plan for Your Job Interview,
56 Persevere at All Costs,
57 Consider a Non-Academic Career a Form of Failure,
Final Thoughts,
Appendix: A Sketch of Grad School,
The Thesis,
The Program,
Your Department,
The People,
Acknowledgments,
Index,
Starting Out
Applying to graduate school can be an exciting process. It also involves a big time commitment, especially if you do it the right way. To avoid pitfalls in the early stages of your degree — some of which could haunt you for years to come — you will have a lot of work to do, and many decisions to make, long before you arrive on campus.
Think carefully about why you want to go to graduate school, and what you would like to get out of the experience, both immediately and in the long term. You also need to reflect on what type of career you want and how a graduate education will advance your ultimate goals. Do some research into what graduate school is (and is not), how it works, and the career prospects in your chosen field. If you are reading this book prior to applying, kudos to you, but also be sure to talk to friends, instructors, and supervisors to get a larger appreciation for graduate education and the life of an academic, researcher, or any other occupation you might pursue after your degree. It is good to contact the graduate chairs of the programs you are applying to (that is, the professors who are in charge of those programs) while you are considering applying or in the process of applying. Talk to current graduate students if you can, especially students in the graduate programs that interest you. You can often arrange this with the graduate chairs of those programs. It is good if you can talk to students who have had both great and less-than-great experiences in grad school.
If grad school seems a good fit for you, you will have to apply to be admitted. This is a time-consuming process, so give it the attention it deserves. It is not simply a case of filling out forms and requesting transcripts. Beyond getting you into the program of your choice, the application is your first opportunity to impress (or depress) a group of academics with your intellect and dedication (or lack of same). Think about what kind of first impression you want to make. A strong application can also help you get the best possible funding. You will usually need to write a statement of interest or statement of research plan. This is something you should put a lot of work and thought into. You should get feedback on drafts from professors and current graduate students. As grad chair of our master's and PhD program, I offer to give applicants feedback on drafts.
The admissions committee at the program you are applying to will read your statement carefully. An ideal statement will contain a detailed account of your research plans, including showing some knowledge of the research literature your project would be based in, and, depending on the discipline, some talk about research methods. A bad statement may contain few specifics on proposed research, and instead contain vague generalities, such as that you "love learning." Be aware that in the end writing the statement is just an exercise: you are not required to do the exact project you propose. Committee members want to see whether you have some idea what a graduate research project would look like. They are also looking for a fit between your interests and their program, and a sense that their faculty will be able to support your research.
Find out if there are scholarships you should be applying for to help fund your graduate school efforts. Sometimes the deadlines for these scholarship applications are months before the deadline for graduate school applications.
You will need letters of reference from professors who have worked with you recently. Do not shy away from asking for such letters: it is the job of professors to give them. Do give them plenty of notice! A great screw-up is to ask a professor for a letter of reference on short notice, as they will be more tempted to dash off something brief that will come off as less than enthusiastic. Another error is to ask a professor for a reference when you are not certain what kind of reference they will write you. Be direct and ask, "Based on my previous work with you, are you comfortable writing me a strong reference for graduate school?"
Find out if there are any exams you need to complete as part of the application process, such as the Graduate Record Examinations (GRE), which is a standardized test that is an admissions requirement for many American programs, and find out what you might need to do to prepare for these tests. Again,...
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