Kantor focuses on a misunderstood but common condition that brings severe and pervasive anxiety about social contacts and relationships. He offers psychotherapists a specific method for helping avoidants overcome their fear of closeness and commitments, and offers a guide for avoidants themselves to use for developing lasting, intimate, anxiety-free relationships.
Fear of intimacy and commitment keeps avoidants from forming close, meaningful relationships. Types of avoidants can include confirmed bachelors, femme fatales, and people who form what appear to be solid relationships only to tire of them and leave with little warning, often devastating their partners/victims. Kantor takes us through the history of this disorder, and into clinical treatment rooms, to see and hear how avoidants think, feel, and recover. He offers psychotherapists a specific method for helping avoidants overcome their fear of closeness and commitments, and offers a guide for avoidants themselves to use for developing lasting, intimate, anxiety-free relationships.
The avoidance reduction techniques presented in this book recognize that avoidants not only fear criticism and humiliation, but also fear being flooded by their feelings and being depleted if they express them. Acceptance is feared as much as rejection, because avoidants fear compromising their identity and losing personal freedom. Kantor describes the different therapeutic emphasis required for the four types of avoidants, including those who are withdrawn due to shyness and social phobia, such as people who intensely fear public speaking; those who relate easily, widely, and well, but cannot sustain relationships due to fear of closeness; those whose restlessness causes them to leave steady relationships, often without warning; and those who grow dependent on-and merge with-a single lover or family member and avoid relating to anyone else.
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Martin Kantor, MD is a Harvard psychiatrist who has been in full private practice in Boston and New York City, and active in residency training programs at several hospitals, including Massachusetts General and Beth Israel in New York. He also served as Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai Medical School and as Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey-New Jersey Medical School. He is currently a full-time medical author, the author of more than a dozen other books, including Homophobia, Second Edition (Praeger 2009); Uncle Sam's Shame: Inside the Veteran's Administration (Praeger 2008); Lifting the Weight: Understanding Depression in Men: Its Causes and Solutions (Praeger 2007); The Psychopathy of Everyday Life: How Antisocial Personality Disorder Affects All of Us (Praeger, 2006); Understanding Paranoia: A Guide for Professional, Families, and Sufferers (Praeger 2004); Distancing: Avoidant Personality Disorder, Revised and Expanded (Praeger, 2003), Passive-Aggression: A Guide for the Therapist, the Patient, and the Victim (Praeger, 2002), Treating Emotional Disorder in Gay Men (Praeger, 1999), and Homophobia (Praeger, 1998).
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