Connect: Real Relationships in a World of Isolation (Youth Specialties (Paperback)) - Softcover

McKee, Jonathan

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0310287774 ISBN 13: 9780310287773

Verlag: Zondervan, 2009

Inhaltsangabe

"In an age where teenagers are deeply engaged in virtual communities and social networks, they’re still feeling alone and isolated. It may sound all too simple, but the truth is that you have the opportunity to make a profound impact on the lives of students with the simple act of spending time with them, one-on-one. Whether you’re a volunteer or the lead youth pastor, getting some students to open up and share their lives can be a challenge. In this practical book you’ll learn the importance of connecting with students on an individual basis and get helpful ideas on how to engage a variety of students in meaningful dialogue. You’ll explore and learn more about connecting with six different types of students, including: • The “No Way” Kid • The “Not Interested” Kid • The “Checking Things Out Kid” • The “Stagnant” Kid • The “Growing” Kid • The “Looking for Ministry” Kid Connect will walk you through the steps to lead you into relationships with students that go beyond the youth room and impact them into adulthood."

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

 Jonathan McKee, president of The Source for Youth Ministry, is the author of numerous books including Ministry By Teenagers, Connect, and the award winning book Do They Run When They See You Coming? Jonathan speaks and trains at conferences, churches and school assemblies, all while providing free resources for youth workers on his website, www.TheSource4YM.com.

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"In an age where teenagers are deeply engaged in virtual communities and social networks, they're still feeling alone and isolated. It may sound all too simple, but the truth is that you have the opportunity to make a profound impact on the lives of students with the simple act of spending time with them, one-on-one. Whether you're a volunteer or the lead youth pastor, getting some students to open up and share their lives can be a challenge. In this practical book you'll learn the importance of connecting with students on an individual basis and get helpful ideas on how to engage a variety of students in meaningful dialogue. You'll explore and learn more about connecting with six different types of students, including: • The “No Way” Kid• The “Not Interested” Kid• The “Checking Things Out Kid”• The “Stagnant” Kid• The “Growing” Kid• The “Looking for Ministry” KidConnect will walk you through the steps to lead you into relationships with students that go beyond the youth room and impact them into adulthood."

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Connect

Real Relationships in a World of Isolation By Jonathan McKee

Zondervan

Copyright © 2009 Jonathan McKee
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-310-28777-3

Contents

CHAPTER 1 The Impact of One-on-One...................................................12CHAPTER 2 Priority One in Youth Ministry.............................................22CHAPTER 3 The One-on-One Intentions Debate...........................................34CHAPTER 4 Connecting with Six Types of Students One-on-One...........................46CHAPTER 5 One-on-One with the No-Way Kid.............................................64CHAPTER 6 One-on-One with the Not-Interested Kid.....................................84CHAPTER 7 One-on-One with the Checking-Things-Out Kid................................98CHAPTER 8 What Connecting with Outreach Students Looks Like..........................110CHAPTER 9 One-on-One with the Stagnant Kid...........................................126CHAPTER 10 One-on-One with the Growing Kid...........................................144CHAPTER 11 One-on-One with the Looking-for-Ministry Kid..............................160CHAPTER 12 What Connecting with Discipleship Students Looks Like.....................172CHAPTER 13 One-on-One Precautions and Boundaries.....................................178CHAPTER 14 Instilling the Value of One-on-One in Your Ministry.......................194APPENDIX A: Sample Study: Jesus' Encounters with People..............................217APPENDIX B: The Six-Types-of-Students Chart..........................................221APPENDIX C: Questions That Help Break the Ice........................................222APPENDIX D: React Cards..............................................................225APPENDIX E: Volunteer Expectations...................................................226ENDNOTES.............................................................................228

Chapter One

THE IMPACT OF ONE-ON-ONE

Last month a student from the high school just down the street from me excused himself from class about 10:15 a.m., walked into a restroom, and shot himself.

It was his 17th birthday.

My heart sank as I read the entire story in our local Sacramento paper. That's the third article this week I've seen about teenage anxiety, depression, violence, and self-injury. Anyone in contact with youth notices their stress, pain, and emptiness.

As youth workers, we read books to try to understand a youth culture that seems to be growing more relationally disconnected and distant. Book titles like Hurt and Helping Teenagers in Crisis are becoming more commonplace. Young people are in pain, and they are seeking others who can identify with those feelings.

Ironically, this generation that feels so alone is looking for comradery in the wrong place ... seclusion. The Friday night hangout is drifting away from a physical place with living, breathing bodies. Alone, in the privacy of their own bedrooms, kids flock to virtual hangouts and encircle themselves with e-friends-surrounded, yet isolated.

Technology allows young people to instantly connect to others digitally while staying geographically isolated from them. Their favorite social networking site brags several hundred friends-yet somehow they still feel alone. The tools supposed to cultivate connection leave students wanting more-and for good reason. E-friends can't fill the tangible, relational void in students' lives.

Whether realized or not, all of us long for face-to-face relationships.

We need them.

Recently, artist Evan Baden created a series of photographs called The Illuminati, depicting current children and teenagers in a common light-the glow of their electronic devices on their faces. Baden's words describing the photographs are almost more revealing than the pictures themselves:

From our earliest memories, there has always been a way to connect with others, whether it is MySpace, Facebook, cell phones, e-mail, or instant messenger. And now, with the Internet, instant messaging, and e-mail in our pocket, right there with our phones, we can always feel as if we are part of a greater whole. These devices grace us with the ability to instantly connect to others, and at the same time, they isolate us from those with whom we are connected.

Considering the increase in time spent communicating, one might assume technology helps young people build deeper relationships. However, statistics show us quite the opposite. Students and young adults have fewer close friends than their peers of just a decade ago. I believe the lack of face-to-face time is dissolving relationships, and wounds from this are beginning to emerge in the lives of teens all around us.

As I write this chapter, I'm traveling on a plane that just left Chicago. During takeoff I picked up the airline's magazine. Flipping through the magazine I noticed an advertisement for a dating service. It read:

With over 100 million unattached people in the U.S., why is it so difficult for singles to meet? In an age where the BlackBerry is a true companion, and people have become so fixated on their real-time/anytime correspondence, has everyone forgotten the simplicity of communicating face-to-face? The need for face-to-face relationships is becoming so readily apparent that even advertising targets this felt need.

Studies are also showing youth and young adults are participating less in team sports and more in individual activities:

Since 1998, the number of young adults participating in team sports has decreased from 19 percent to 13 percent. The number of young adults going out to the movies has decreased from 13 percent in 1998 to just 3 percent in 2008. The number of adolescents staying home to watch television or rent videos has increased from 24 percent in 1998 to 32 percent in 2008.

It seems to me students today are more isolated, have fewer close friends, and are drifting away from activities with personal interaction. This is creating a relational void in their lives. Add this to the growing levels of stress and pain teenagers already face as part of adolescence, and it is no wonder we are seeing an increase in teenage anxiety, depression, violence, and self-injury. Teenagers are hurting more than ever before.

Where is the hope? How can we make an impact in the lives of today's lonely and hurting teenagers? Is there anything a caring adult can do?

Is it possible the solution might be somewhere beyond technology's reach? Could the answer be found in something as simple as a face-to-face meeting and good, old-fashioned, one-on-one interaction?

JARED

Jared seemed impossible to reach. Students warned me about him the first time he walked in the door of our weekly youth group meeting. He seemed polite enough when I met him, but it didn't take long for him to live up to his reputation. Whenever I talked-Jared was talking. Whenever there was a problem in one of our small groups-it was Jared's small group. If there was a disturbance in the Taco Bell parking lot after youth group, my first question was always, "Where's Jared?"

But something miraculous happened one day. I took Jared out for a soda, and Jared and I sat face-to-face, eating, laughing,...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Zondervan
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2009
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0310287774
• ISBN 13: 9780310287773
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 240
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: ?????????; https://europe.yamaha.com/index.html; ; Siemensstrasse 22-34; Rellingen; Schleswig-Holstein; 25462; Deutschland