Perfectly Yourself: 9 Lessons for Enduring Happiness - Hardcover

Kelly, Matthew

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0345494407 ISBN 13: 9780345494405

Verlag: Ballantine Books, 2006

Inhaltsangabe

“Just be yourself!” People say it all the time, but how do we actually live it?

For more than a decade Matthew Kelly has been helping people discover the best version of themselves. Now, in Perfectly Yourself, he addresses the opportunities and obstacles that we encounter once we decide to ask life’s big questions: Who am I? What am I here for? Focusing on nine powerful and practical lessons, Kelly shows us how to find lasting happiness in a changing world.

We all have an insatiable need to grow and improve: Every year millions of us buy books and attend workshops in the hope that we will lose weight, improve our relationships, conquer debt, accomplish more in our careers, achieve financial independence, reach spiritual enlightenment, become better parents or lovers–the list goes on. We yearn for progress. And yet, many of us fail to achieve the transformations we desire.

“People don’t fail because they want to fail,” Kelly explains. “People don’t go on a diet because they want to get fat. People don’t get married to get divorced. Whether we are dealing with health and wellness, relationships, finances, spirituality, or career, people want to advance. Personal development animates us, brings us to life. In many cases one diet is as good as the next. One financial plan is as good as another. People are smart enough to work out which are the best, but still so many fail. We have to ask ourselves: Why?

“Fundamental to all transformation is understanding the dynamics of change so that we can be aware of the obstacles and opportunities that await us when we attempt to transform an area of our lives.”

Kelly teaches us how to find the balance between accepting ourselves for who we are and challenging ourselves to become all we are capable of being. He encourages us to unify the many aspects of our lives, and reveals how to move beyond other people’s expectations of who and what we should be.

Perfectly Yourself is for anyone who has ever failed at a diet, survived the collapse of a relationship, or wondered if he or she will ever find a fulfilling career. It’s a book for all of us who long to be at peace with who we are, where we are, and what we are doing, not in some distant tomorrow but here and now–today.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Matthew Kelly is the author of several books, including The Rhythm of Life and The Seven Levels of Intimacy. His books have appeared on multiple bestseller lists including those of The New York Times, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal. For more than a decade Kelly has been traveling the globe, and three million people in more than fifty countries have attended his seminars. One of the great emerging voices of our time, Kelly is the founder of The Matthew Kelly Foundation, whose major charitable work is to help young people discover their mission in life. Kelly is also the president of Dream Manager Consulting, a Chicago-based consulting company that helps corporations and individuals identify and live their dreams.

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One

Are You Making Progress?

Our differences as individuals are fascinating and wonderful, and this book is about exploring and celebrating what makes us unique. But I want to begin by identifying what drives our desire to become perfectly ourselves. In my work with more than three million people over the past decade, I have often stood in awe of how wonderfully unique we are as individuals, but I have also been intrigued by the astonishing similarities that exist between men and women of all ages and cultures, all countries and creeds. The greatest of these similarities is what I like to call “the hunger”: a common yearning in people’s hearts for something more or for something that has been lost, a yearning that seems to be growing stronger and deeper with every passing day.

Some people associate this hunger with a desire for more money or more sex. Others respond to this hunger by seeking the perfect partner, thinking that this one person will calm the yearning once and for all. Others collect possessions or amass power in an attempt to quell the hunger. But it seems unquenchable, insatiable. There are some who associate the hunger with a need for more fulfillment in the workplace. Others sense that something is wrong but cannot quite put their finger on it, so they take journeys hoping to discover something about themselves.

Sooner or later this hunger tends to lead most people to the area of personal development. Some people turn their attention to health and well-being, others to gaining financial independence, others to improving a relationship, and some to spirituality.

The hunger is really a desire to be more perfectly yourself. It can express itself in hundreds of ways, but all are born from the single desire to feel more at home with who you are. Regardless of what area of personal development you choose to focus on at this time in your life, there are certain stages and pitfalls that are common to all. They all share a common psychology of change. This book is about understanding the dynamics of change, the change that we desire but that so often eludes us.

Trying to lose weight is a perfect example.

Every January, a slew of new diet books are published. Many people have gained weight over the holidays, and publishers know we will resolve at New Year’s to slim down. One of these books will break out and hit the top of all the best-seller lists. Everyone will be talking about it. The diet will be presented as miraculous. People will flock to the book. Everybody will rave about it as if simply reading the book will cause weight to fall from bodies as effortlessly as beads of sweat.

The thing is, you and I both know that twelve months ago they were talking about another book in the same way. And next year, there will be more new and amazing diet books. Editors in all the Manhattan publishing houses are sitting at their desks right now trying to figure out what will be the next big diet book.

People seem obsessed with losing weight, and yet Americans are becoming more and more obese with every passing year. Is it just me, or is there a massive disconnect here?

This book is about that disconnect. Regardless of what area of your life you would like to transform, I want to show you how we bridge the gap between our desire for change and actually creating real and sustainable change in our lives.

A Moment of Truth

From time to time my friend Meggie will get this look on her face, and I know exactly what she is about to say: “Matthew, get honest with yourself!” I love that about her. She doesn’t say it that often, so when she does it means something.

I think we all need moments of honesty from time to time. We need them as individuals, as couples, as families, and as nations. In the area of personal development, we are in desperate need of a moment of truth. We need to get honest with ourselves.

The truth is this: Diets don’t fail. We fail at diets. Savings plans don’t fail. We fail at savings plans. Exercise routines don’t fail. We fail at exercise routines. Relationships don’t fail. We fail at relationships.

This may seem harsh, but until we face this difficult truth, we will never seriously ask the really important questions that loom in the back of our minds: Why do I fail every time I go on a diet? Why can’t I stick to my budget and savings plan? Why can’t I be consistent about working out? Why am I constantly in and out of relationships? And so on.

Once we start asking these tough questions, we discover another fundamental truth about the whole process of change. People don’t fail because they want to fail. People don’t go on diets to gain weight. People don’t get married to get divorced. People don’t join a gym and sign a two-year contract to drop out three months later.

Whether we are dealing with the area of health and well-being, relationships, finances, career, or spirituality, people want to advance. We have an enormous desire to grow and change and improve ourselves. So why don’t we? I hear you ask. What’s the problem? Why is it that so many of us seem unable to transform resolutions into habits?

This book is about learning a new way.

The reason most of us fail to achieve real and sustainable change in our lives is because we focus too much on the desired outcome and not enough on the progress we are making. It is important to establish goals, but they can often seem overwhelming and impossible. If we can condition ourselves to focus on the progress we are making, our advances will encourage us to persevere in achieving our goals and dreams. It is when we lose sight of our progress that we become discouraged, and it is discouragement that often lands us back in our old self-defeating habits and self-destructive behaviors.

Just Be Yourself

Before the beginning of time, when you were just a dream, your purpose had already been assigned. Purposefully created, and created for a purpose, you are here at this very moment to become the-best-version-of-yourself—not to become some poor imitation of your parents, your friends, your siblings, or your colleagues—but to become perfectly yourself.

Life is not about doing and having; it is about becoming.

Could you have a better dream for your children than to want them to become the-best-version-of-themselves? Could you have a better dream for your spouse than to want him or her to become the-best-version-of-him- or herself? It is the ultimate dream—and when we turn our attention to living this dream, our lives are flooded with energy, enthusiasm, passion, purpose, and a real and sustainable joy. It is time to start living the dream.

When we are healthy in a holistic sense, or in any one aspect of our lives, we are driven by this dream to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. Why are there so many products and programs available that help people transform different areas of their lives? Because there is an enormous demand for them. Marketers know that people have this insatiable desire to improve themselves. This desire is what drives us when we are healthiest.

When we are unhealthy, we tend to abandon our true selves, often wishing we were more like someone else or that we were someone else altogether. This is often most noticeable during adolescence, when people grapple with identity issues. But many of us develop a permanent contempt for ourselves (or for certain aspects of ourselves) during this period of development. This contempt for self stifles our dreams.

Living the dream and striving to become all we are capable of being is the only thing you ever truly need to answer for, and our only regrets come from abandoning our true selves. Are you celebrating your true self, or are...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Ballantine Books
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2006
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0345494407
• ISBN 13: 9780345494405
• Einband: Gebundene Ausgabe
• Auflage: 1
• Anzahl der Seiten: 222
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: SC; https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/; ; CL MODESTO LAFUENTE 41; Madrid; Madrid; Spanien