Thirty-one-year-old Dennis Racine has enjoyed a long, lush life as the pampered "companion" to the fiftyish, filthy rich Chicago theatrical impresario Farleigh Nock. With virtually unlimited access to Farleigh's wallet, pool, and imported cars, he couldn't possibly be better situated. Until Farleigh, after weeks of remaining conspicuously cold and aloof, drops the big one, the unthinkable, the horror of horrors: Dennis must get a job.
Dennis believes there can be only one explanation for this outrage: he's let himself go. And as any kept boy worth his gym membership knows, a spare tire can run right over a relationship. Alas, even after a crash course in iron pumping with an albino Amazon, his situation only worsens. First, he discovers that he's unemployable virtually anywhere on the planet. Then he learns that his old career is in jeopardy as well, for Farleigh's affections have been snared by the lithe young pool boy Jasper Batton. When Jasper is promoted from chlorination duties to directing Farleigh's production of Lady Windermere's Fan, Dennis panics; he's in danger of losing not only his position as Farleigh's house hunk, but also his place in Farleigh's last will and testament.
Desperate for a way up from this devastating downfall, Dennis turns to his best friends: Lonnie Roach, the kept man of ancient gossip columnist Dierdre Diamon, and Paulette Ng, the kept woman of a member of Congress whose anonymity she protects by referring to him only as "the Spanker of the House." Together, the three devise a cunning plan to whisk Farleigh away to the romantic Greek Isles, where Dennis hopes to re-seduce him.
But the warm Hellenic breeze stirs up more trouble than magic, and Dennis, with only a pair of Iowa coeds for allies, must wage one final, desperate campaign to keep Farleigh's love, battling everything from stampeding goats to a deranged Santorini grandmother.
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