Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication - Hardcover

Van Edwards, Vanessa

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0593332199 ISBN 13: 9780593332191

Verlag: Portfolio, 2022

Inhaltsangabe

Wall Street Journal bestseller!
 
For anyone who wants to be heard at work, earn that overdue promotion, or win more clients, deals, and projects, the bestselling author of Captivate, Vanessa Van Edwards, shares her advanced guide to improving professional relationships through the power of cues.

What makes someone charismatic? Why do some captivate a room, while others have trouble managing a small meeting? What makes some ideas spread, while other good ones fall by the wayside? If you have ever been interrupted in meetings, overlooked for career opportunities or had your ideas ignored, your cues may be the problem – and the solution.

Cues – the tiny signals we send to others 24/7 through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection – have a massive impact on how we, and our ideas, come across. Our cues can either enhance our message or undermine it.

In this entertaining and accessible guide to the hidden language of cues, Vanessa Van Edwards teaches you how to convey power, trust, leadership, likeability, and charisma in every interaction. You’ll learn:

  •  Which body language cues assert, “I’m a leader, and here’s why you should join me.”
  •  Which vocal cues make you sound more confident
  •  Which verbal cues to use in your résumé, branding, and emails to increase trust (and generate excitement about interacting with you.)
  •  Which visual cues you are sending in your profile pictures, clothing, and professional brand.
 
Whether you're pitching an investment, negotiating a job offer, or having a tough conversation with a colleague, cues can help you improve your relationships, express empathy, and create meaningful connections with lasting impact. This is an indispensable guide for entrepreneurs, team leaders, young professionals, and anyone who wants to be more influential.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Vanessa Van Edwards is a speaker, researcher, and nationally bestselling author. More than 55 million people have seen her on YouTube and in her viral TEDxLondon talk. Her groundbreaking research at her company, Science of People, has been featured in Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, Entrepreneur magazine, and many more media outlets, including on CNN and CBS. Her book Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People has been translated into more than sixteen languages and her second book, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication was an instant WSJ bestseller. For more than a decade, she has been leading corporate trainings and workshops to audiences around the world, including at SXSW and MIT, and at companies including Google, Dove, Microsoft, and Comcast. Her unique online courses have taught half a million students worldwide how to succeed in business and life by understanding the hidden dynamics of people. She lives with her husband and daughters in Austin, Texas.

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Chapter 1

 

Cue for Charisma

 

Who is the most charismatic person you know?

 

This is one of my favorite questions to ask audiences. People immediately shout out their answers. "My dad!" or "My teacher!" or "My best friend!"

 

The next question is where things get more interesting. I ask, "What makes someone charismatic?"

 

Typically, I hear crickets. People rack their brains to come up with the answer. They venture, "Well, it's, you know, that feeling?" Why is it that we struggle to define charisma, even though we immediately recognize it in others?

 

In a groundbreaking study from Princeton University, researchers found that highly charismatic, likable, compelling people demonstrate a special blend of two specific traits: warmth and competence. It's a simple equation:

 

This formula is a powerful blueprint for every interaction. And it can completely change the way you communicate if you know how to use it.

 

According to the research, warmth and competence cues account for 82 percent of our impressions of others.

 

First, we quickly assess someone's warmth, answering the question: Can I trust you?

 

Then we look for competence, answering the question: Can I rely on you?

 

And this formula isn't just at play when making a first impression. Any time people interact with you, they continuously scan for cues to gauge your warmth and competence. And you do the same to others. Whether you are in a business meeting, on a date, with your boss, or with new friends, managing these two traits is essential for your effectiveness.

 

Highly charismatic people exhibit the perfect blend of warmth and competence. They immediately signal trust and credibility. We see them as friendly and smart, impressive and collaborative. They earn both our respect and admiration.

 

Here's the problem: Most of us have an imbalance between these two traits. It's often the hidden cause of our social difficulties, missed potential, and miscommunications.

 

We need this balance to succeed. Highly charismatic people use both warmth and competence cues to communicate successfully. We love being around people who make us feel like we are in both safe and capable hands. We like our leaders to be both highly effective and very approachable. We look for partners we can trust with our deepest secrets and call in an emergency. We want to work with people who are both friendly and productive.

 

We're always on the lookout for people who hit the sweet spot of both warmth and competence-the quadrant that has the star on the Charisma Scale on the following page. This Charisma Scale helps us map our communication.

 

Where do you think you fall on the scale? Are you more warm (upper left quadrant) or more competent (lower right quadrant), or do you strike a perfect balance and land in the Charisma Zone? Not sure? You might not show enough cues at all, putting you in the Danger Zone.

 

Consider where others might place you on the scale. Do a quick test below by choosing which column sounds more like you:

 

Competent         Warm

 

Impressive          Trustworthy

 

Powerful             Collaborative

 

Smart    Kind

 

Capable                Compassionate

 

An Expert            A Team Player

 

Effective              Open

 

Be sure to take your official Charisma Diagnostic

in your digital bonuses at scienceofpeople.com/bonus.

 

Higher in Warmth

 

If you are highly warm, you have a strong desire to be liked. This can be good-you strive to be friendly and personable-but it can also be challenging. Highly warm folks are often people pleasers and struggle to say no and set boundaries. Your desire to be liked can get in the way of your need to be respected.

 

You might be seen as:

 

Trustworthy but not always powerful

 

Compassionate but not always competent

 

Friendly but not always impressive

 

If this is you, you likely have good relationships with your colleagues but you find it hard to pitch yourself or your ideas. You might even get interrupted in meetings or feel underappreciated for all the hard work you do. In social or casual settings, people enjoy talking to you but might not ask for your business card.

 

You're likely higher in warmth if people tell you things like:

 

I always feel so comfortable around you!

 

You're such a sweetheart.

 

I feel like I have known you forever.

 

You have a trustworthy face.

 

Steve Wozniak is a good example of a business leader who is known for being jovial and kind but doesn't get as much credit for his accomplishments as his former partner, Steve Jobs, who was known for high competence.

 

Higher in Competence

 

If you are highly competent, you have a strong desire to be seen as capable and impressive. People take you and your ideas seriously, but you might have a harder time building rapport. You could be seen as:

 

Smart but not always approachable

 

Dependable but not always collaborative

 

Important but not always kind

 

People might even be intimidated by you. They may tell you that you're hard to talk to or come across as cold. In business settings, this can be a double-edged sword. You're taken seriously as a leader, but you may have a harder time working with teams.

 

Clients, customers, or colleagues may find you credible but might not feel comfortable telling you all their needs. Researcher Susan Fiske found that "competence without warmth is likely to leave us feeling suspicious." In social settings, this means you're often perceived as important, but it takes you longer to build deeper connections and make friends.

 

You're likely higher in competence if people tell you things like:

 

I never know what you're thinking.

 

You can be a little intimidating!

 

You're hard to read.

 

You must be the one in charge here.

 

Business leaders like Mark Zuckerberg, Anna Wintour, and Elon Musk are examples of people who have had success with high competence but have been criticized for being harsh, hard to read, and unemotional.

 

You might notice that highly competent people will often partner with highly warm folks to balance them out. Many famous duos include a highly warm character and a highly competent character. This is a good way to think about how these traits play off each other.

 

Captain Kirk (warm) and Spock (competent)

 

Warren Buffett (competent) and Charlie Munger (warm)

 

Ernie (warm) and Bert (competent)

 

Sherlock Holmes (competent) and Dr. Watson (warm)

 

Put together, these duos often hit the sweet spot.

 

The Danger Zone

 

The last part of the quadrant is the one you need to work hard to avoid: the Danger Zone.

 

Researchers have found that if you rank low in both warmth and...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Portfolio
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2022
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0593332199
• ISBN 13: 9780593332191
• Einband: Gebundene Ausgabe
• Anzahl der Seiten: 320
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Penguin Random House Ireland; https://eu-contact.penguin.ie; ; Morrison Chambers, 32 Nassau Street; Dublin; D02 YH68; Irland