#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Wrecker needs to deal with smugglers, grave robbers, and pooping iguanas—just as soon as he finishes Zoom school. Welcome to another wild adventure in Carl Hiaasen's Florida!
Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living.
So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them.
Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, in the cemetery, even right outside his own door. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.
He'll have to dive deep into their shady dealings to figure out a way to escape this tangled net. . . .
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CARL HIAASEN was born and raised in Florida, where he still lives. He is the author of many bestselling novels, including Squeeze Me and Nature Girl, as well as Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear. His books for younger readers include the Newbery Honor winner Hoot, as well as Flush, Scat, Chomp, Skink—No Surrender, and Squirm.
One
Wrecker rides a heavy swell through the Northwest Channel. Halfway across he’s already thinking about the return trip and hoping the wind doesn’t kick up. Broccoli soup probably wasn’t the smartest idea for lunch.
But fishing is good on the patch reef. Wrecker fills the cooler with yellowtails and mangrove snappers. Shrimp-pink clouds along the horizon promise another hour of daylight, plenty of time to get back to Key West.
As he pulls up the anchor, he hears another boat--a high-powered outboard, judging from the sound. His eyes track a silver rooster tail of spray, recklessly wide of the navigation markers.
Boneheads, he thinks.
With a roar, the outboard’s props slam into a shoal. The monster engines grind to a stop, and agitated voices rise across the water. Wrecker could pretend he’s out of earshot, but the code of the sea says you don’t leave fellow mariners stranded. So he motors the half mile or so to the shallow flat where the speedboat is mired.
It’s a sleek forty-footer, maybe forty-two, with grape-purple glitter wrap, twin lightning bolts painted along the pointy bow, and four mammoth Yamaha 300s mounted on the stern.
Pure Miami, thinks Wrecker. Twelve hundred horses, stuck in the mud.
He’s never seen this boat before. The three men aboard are waving him closer. He eases his skiff to the edge of the flat and eyes the ugly trench gouged by the wayward craft, which rests tilted to one side in a cloud of roiled silt.
One of the guys--stocky, shirtless, thick gray hair, and a silver mustache--tries throwing a rope to Wrecker.
“Can you tow us off the flat, kid?” he calls out. “We’ll pay you good money.”
The rope splashes a few yards shy of Wrecker’s skiff. The man hauls it in and makes another throw that also lands short.
“My boat’s not big enough to move yours,” Wrecker says extra loud, so that they hear him over the wind.
“Aw, come on, dude.”
First he was “kid,” now he’s “dude.” Wrecker guesses “bro” will be next.
He gestures at his motor, an old Evinrude 40. “That’s all I got for power. You better call Sea Tug.”
The man consults with his companions. Wrecker suspects they don’t want to ask the Sea Tug company for help because the tow captain would be required by law to notify the Coast Guard what happened. Since the Florida Keys are a national marine sanctuary, the damage caused by the grounding could cost the speedboat’s owner big bucks.
Wrecker is careful to keep his skiff clear of the shallows.
“Is the tide coming in or out?” Silver Mustache yells.
“Rising,” Wrecker calls back.
“How long till it’s deep enough for us to float off?”
Wrecker says, “Three hours, maybe four.”
The man curses before huddling again with his friends. Wrecker can’t see their faces or hear what they’re saying. There’s no name painted on the go-fast, which is weird. Most guys put colorful names on their speedboats, unless they’re professional offshore racers.
And professional racers usually don’t run aground.
“I gotta go,” Wrecker tells the men, “before it gets dark.”
“Yo, hang on.” Silver Mustache lobs something underhand into Wrecker’s skiff.
It’s a half-empty beer can with a wad of cash folded into the pop-tab opening.
Is this a trap? Wrecker thinks.
The towrope comes flying again. This time Wrecker catches it and ties it to a steel eye on his transom. Silver Mustache knots the other end to the bow of the no-name go-fast.
Wrecker shifts the Evinrude into gear and guns it--nothing happens but noise, smoke, and churning bubbles. The purple speedboat, which weighs ten times more than Wrecker’s skiff, doesn’t budge an inch. Wrecker isn’t surprised. He twists the tiller handle back to the neutral position.
“I told you!” he shouts to the men. “Your boat’s too heavy.”
“Try again,” Silver Mustache barks. “Come on, bro!”
Wrecker shakes his head. “I don’t wanna blow up my motor.”
He unhitches the speedboat’s towrope and lets the current sweep it clear of his propeller.
“So, three hours and we can get outta here?” Silver Mustache asks.
“Maybe four. Depends on if the wind switches.” Wrecker cocks his arm to toss back the beer can crammed with cash.
“No, keep it!” Silver Mustache shouts.
“For what? I didn’t do anything.”
“You tried.”
“Big deal,” says Wrecker.
“Keep the money. Seriously,” Silver Mustache tells him. “But, yo, just remember: you never saw us, okay, ’cause we were never here. Got it?”
Wrecker nods uneasily. One of the other guys on the speedboat says something to Silver Mustache, who scowls and tells him to shut the bleep up. Wrecker is pretty good at reading lips.
“What’s your name, kid?” Silver Mustache asks.
“Charles.”
“Charles what?”
“Good luck with the tide.” Wrecker twists the throttle out of neutral and aims his skiff across the channel, toward Key West.
The ride back isn’t rough, though the sun is down by the time he reaches the dock. Fortunately, there’s a lightbulb that stays on all night over the fish table. Wrecker quickly sharpens his knife and starts cleaning his catch, tossing the heads, bones, and guts in the water, where the jacks and baby tarpon are waiting. A stray cat watches the feeding frenzy from on top of a wooden piling.
Afterward, Wrecker seals the fillets in sandwich bags and rinses down his fishing rods with fresh water. Before getting on his bike, he pulls the soggy cash out of the beer can and counts it. Then, just to be sure, he counts it again.
What the bleep? he thinks.
He’d lied to the men about his name. It’s not Charles. He’s not sure where he came up with that one. Charles Barkley? Charles Darwin?
His real name is Valdez Jones.
Actually, Valdez Jones VIII.
He calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So did his great-great-great-great-grandfather and his great-great-great-grandfather. Unluckily, his great-great-grandfather was born too late for the wrecking trade--by then there were lighthouses along the reefs and the ships were powered by steam, no longer at the mercy of the wind--so he smuggled rum and pineapples from Havana to Key West on motor yachts.
The bootlegger’s only son--Wrecker’s great-grandfather--owned a head boat called the Maiden of Matecumbe, which took platoons of sun-seeking northerners fishing for groupers and amberjacks on the reefs. The fishing captain’s only son, Wrecker’s grandfather, grew up in Key West but was prone to seasickness and seldom ventured out on the water; instead, he drove tourists around town on the Conch Train and chain-smoked himself to death at age fifty-two.
And his only son, who is Wrecker’s dad, played guitar, sang in the bars on Duval Street, and told anyone who’d listen that he was destined to become the next Jimmy Buffett. One day he packed a suitcase and moved to Nashville, where he changed his name to Austin Breakwater and basically lost connection to the family. Wrecker was barely three years old on the...
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