Succession meets Bad Blood in this sharp-toothed satire of Silicon Valley and the 1 percent • The black-sheep son of an industrial tycoon starts working for a tech pioneer who's running a biomedical startup selling nothing less than immortality, only to uncover the horrifying truth at the heart of her sublime promises.
"Exceptional, horrifically hilarious, and deeply original.” —Kevin Wilson, New York Times bestselling author of Nothing to See Here
Chuck Gross would like nothing more than to prune himself from his family tree. He’s already clipped his name, turning Charles Grossheart, Jr.—son of a billionaire labor exploiter, weapons manufacturer, and climate change denier—into ordinary good-guy Chuck, the “self-made” proprietor of an up-and-coming punk label. But when Daddy threatens to cut him off, Chuck is forced to get a “real job”—and conveniently, an old college friend has just swept back into his life with the perfect opportunity.
Famed Harvard dropout and biotech darling Olivia Watts says she is on the verge of totally reinventing the field of medicine, but when Chuck signs on, he soon discovers that things at the vast Kenosis campus are not quite how they appear. Secret labs, vanished employees, and mutated test subjects seem to be as impossible as they are sinister. Is Olivia simply a scammer, or does her technology threaten to usher humanity toward a far bloodier fate? Moreover, does Chuck—who has never accomplished anything without the aid of Daddy’s money—stand a chance of stopping her? Daniel Hornsby hilariously skewers the insatiable hungers of the ultrarich in a novel that no one will be able to resist sinking their teeth into.
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DANIEL HORNSBY was born in Muncie, Indiana. He holds an MFA in fiction from the University of Michigan, where he received Hopwood Awards for both short fiction and the novel, and an M.T.S. from Harvard Divinity School. He is the author of a novel, Via Negativa, and his stories and essays have appeared in the Los Angeles Review of Books, Electric Literature, The Missouri Review, and Joyland. He lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
1
I’m an American, so I always assumed I’d be famous. When it was clear I was no Thurston Moore or David Byrne, I figured I could at least be a crusty hybrid between Malcolm McLaren and David Geffen. And so, in an unlikely move for this black sheep in a family of twenty-four-karat fleeces, I became an entrepreneur and started my own small record label.
I ran Obnoxious Records with my girlfriend, whose album had come out as our third official release. Louise, and the rest of Obnoxious, had no clue about my devious parentage. When I moved to San Narciso, I lopped the heart off my infamous surname, synonymous as it is with money and evil, and went from Charles Grossheart to Chuck Gross. With the help of this punk pseudonym, I was able to keep things pretty separate, and figured my notorious bloodline would easily remain discrete from my true passion, my real life.
But it turned out I lacked my dad’s capitalist knack and had to subsidize the label with the money his money made. I’ll admit, I lied to Louise a little about our finances. She was under the impression that we had the support of an eccentric tech millionaire (not a sinister libertarian billionaire / chairman and CEO of a vast multinational private corporation), but that we also more or less lived in the black. In fact, we’d lived out our entire run plunged deeply into the red, kept afloat only by paternal subsidy.
Obnoxious was my baby, but it was a bastard my parents wouldn’t recognize. For me to keep receiving his funds, my father annoyingly required some conventional employment, and my noisy vanity project didn’t count. For about three years I managed to fake him out, but eventually he called my bluff. With a single phone call from his wealth manager, Renata, I was cut off.
You have to understand, I had the Buddha’s boyhood, spared any hint of suffering (save for the psychic cuts and scrapes inflicted by a self-obsessed father and a Teutonic nanny, along with the mild realization of my scarcity of talent), so I had no immune system with which to fight the little particles of woe that would inevitably find their way inside me. I hung up with Renata, packed a bowl, and prepared myself for a dark fortnight of the soul. I bought one of those seasonal affective disorder lamps, and it was May.
I was determined to keep Obnoxious alive, but I was in desperate need of cash. I owed several audio engineers and one producer a lot of money, and a band was due an installment of their advance. Thanks to a handful of well-received releases, we were just about to rise from boutique status, slowly gaining a national reputation among people who care about these kinds of things. But now that Renata had sniffed out my employment status, all my plans would implode: I’d be penniless until I could find a job that met Dad’s criteria. Cutting me off was a codependent ploy. For a year or so I’d been laying the groundwork to someday really and truly break away from my famously evil family, and I think he or Renata might’ve caught wind of my vague plan. This way he could snip the cords of the puny safety net I was fashioning for myself before it was strong enough to catch me.
Three days after Renata’s devastating call, I was baking my face with antidepressant rays and stress-buying old 45s on eBay when Olivia called me out of the blue and asked if I’d be free to meet for lunch. It was the first I’d heard from her in years. We’d been close in college, and the two of us had planned to move from Boston to San Narciso together after graduation—she to get her PhD in biosomething, me to start my label in the city’s flourishing punk and garage scene. She wound up moving here sooner than expected, taking a cue from Bill Gates’s playbook and dropping out to birth her company, and it was understood that I’d follow her once I finished school. Instead, I backed out at the last minute and moved to Brooklyn. I came to San Narciso three years later, once the boom was really going and all my bridges in that borough were crispy, but I was too ashamed to reach out and spent four years avoiding her as my embarrassment racked up compound interest.
Why had I flaked? At the time, my excuse both to Olivia and myself was my then girlfriend, a bassist in a second-rate Flatbush dream pop band. But deep down I knew that relationship wasn’t going anywhere. I think it was Olivia’s purpose, her righteous mission, that ultimately kept me from making the move. Sure, I had my own aspirations, but these were daydreams next to Olivia’s saintly visions. I’ll set my automatic cynicism aside for a moment and say that I considered her a friend, one of the closest I’ve had. While I was accustomed to depressing my parents, I couldn’t stand the idea of disappointing Olivia. When I moved West, I told myself I’d get back in touch at some point, but couldn’t bring myself to compose an email or dial her number. Rather than let it grow into something knotted and tangled, I preferred to clip our friendship into a tidy, stunted bonsai.
Minutes after we booked it, I thought about weaseling out of our reunion. I didn’t think I’d be able to sit through a report of her successes while my life dissolved. But even I could see the opportunity here: she had a company, and I needed a job.
So a few days later I found myself in the back of an Uber, riding off to one of the popular basement bar/restaurants that had popped up in recent months.
I had some sense of Olivia’s achievements and growing fame, but no clue about the particulars. She’d founded a start-up, it was successful. That, and her place at the top of a Wired list of up-and-coming women in tech, were all I’d allowed to trickle into my consciousness. Every now and then one of those determined alumni emails would find its way into my inbox, and I’d glimpse Olivia’s noble, fuzzy dome, but I couldn’t bring myself to read it before deleting. A couple months back I caught her face staring at me from the cover of one of the big tech rags at the newsstand near Obnoxious. I smothered her with a copy of a National Geographic featuring a satellite photo of the Pacific’s Texas-size mass of plastic waste on its cover—an image more comforting than the sight of a friend whose accomplishments had so greatly outstripped mine. Despite my scant knowledge, I did occasionally brag about her to my dad and my brother, wielding the same two or three facts to give them the sense our friendship lived in the present tense.
Now that we were reuniting, I needed to give the impression that I’d kept tabs on her triumphs, and even with my fluent bullshit, I knew I’d have to do some homework. I put this off until I was on the way to lunch. While my Uber driver delivered a long, unfunny monologue about his struggle to break into the San Narciso comedy scene, I shoved all the Oliviana I could find into my brain, skimming the major articles and profiles, scrubbing my way through a TED Talk and videos of women-in-tech panels. They all hit the same two or three biographical notes in Olivia Watts’s epic life: her struggle with cancer as a teen, her venerable dropout status, and her relationship with mentor / early investor / popular capitalist pig Ralph Langenburger. There were a lot of near-identical photos of her holding something resembling a black hummingbird egg up to her eye. From what I gathered, her company, Kenosis, had something to do with a kind of implant that could tell you when you were sick. One profile expanded on the usual, obvious cliché used to describe my old friend, calling her “Steve Jobs, but with a heart,” and more than a few sites had her listed among America’s most promising...
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