Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life Is Not Okay - Hardcover

Spiegel, Cyndie

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0593492226 ISBN 13: 9780593492222

Verlag: Penguin Life, 2023

Inhaltsangabe

Bighearted and hopeful. Unflinchingly honest and healing. A profound compendium of intimate, inspiring essays and thoughtful prompts that will keep you afloat in difficult times and sustain you in the everyday.
 
Microjoys are a practice of uncovering joy and finding hope at any moment. They are accessible to everyone, despite all else. When we hone the ability to look for them, they are always available. Microjoys are the hidden wisdom, long-ago memories, subtle treasures, and ordinary delights that surround us: A polka-dot glass on a thrift store shelf. A dear friend’s kindness at just the right time. The neighborhood spice shop. A beloved family tradition. The simple quietude of being in love. A cherished chai recipe.
 
Cyndie Spiegel first began taking note of microjoys during the most difficult year of her life—when she experienced back-to-back unprecedented and devastating losses—and she found that these fleeting moments of hope helped her move through each day with a semblance of comfort and a lot more joy.
 
Through beautifully written narrative essays and prompts, Cyndie shares the microjoys that have kept her going through tough times and shows us how we can learn to see the microjoys in our own lives. Microjoys don’t change the truth of loss or make grief any more convenient, but they allow us to temporarily touch joy, keeping us buoyed and moving forward, one moment at a time.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Cyndie Spiegel is a born storyteller–turned–writer; she’s an aspirational voice and an igniter of powerful conversation around self-acceptance, integrity, and joy. She is a former fashion executive, adjunct professor at Parsons School of Design and Fashion Institute of Technology, and holds a masters of professional studies. She is also a TEDx speaker and a certified yoga and meditation teacher. Her honest storytelling, vulnerable self-inquiry, and penchant for swear words have made her a sought-after speaker for conferences, brands, and organizations, and she has been featured in publications such as Forbes, Glamour, Teen Vogue, and HuffPost. She currently lives in New Jersey with her (very handsome) photographer husband, two cats, way too many patterns, and an excessive number of houseplants. She is the founder of Dear Grown Ass Women, an inclusive and highly relatable social community for women 35+, and she is also the author of A Year of Positive Thinking.

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Part I

Observing Life:
One Absurd, Ordinary, Miraculous Moment
at a Time

The foundation of microjoys is subtlety. In an age of provocative headlines and FOMO, we are deeply attuned to what is loudest and most visible, leaving little space for nuance, quiet beauty, and the absurdity of the day-to-day. So much of life occurs during the in-between. And while we are gifting our full attention to the shiniest objects, we allow moments of profound joy, humor, and meaning to simply pass us by. Like the rare sound of a bird chirping outside of your loud city window, the gorgeous light formation reflecting on the floor from a slightly open door, mistakenly wearing your underwear inside out (Oh, that was just me then!?), or the first time you notice you have the same hands as a cherished loved one. Ordinary moments like this happen quickly and within seconds they become missed opportunities for joy.

Microjoys require us to pay attention to the details and acknowledge the fleeting, often miraculous nature of the everyday. As you read these next essays, I invite you to examine your own ordinary and delightful moments of microjoy-those that you've already experienced as well as those to come. As you do, try to remember that it is a choice to "put yourself in the way beauty." And also in the way of humor and symbolism, too.

The Spice Shop

My favorite Mediterranean spice shop is
in my old neighborhood in Brooklyn.
It's been around for well over a century. Though we recently moved, I return to the shop as often as I can. And every single time, I leave with paper bags overfilled with more lovely items than I could ever possibly need.

I walk in and am enveloped by the delicious smell of fresh spices, a multitude of olives, and more grains than I ever imagined could exist; bins full to the brim with goodness. I see the same smiling faces of the people who've worked there for decades. There is also the one man who insists on singing every time he sees me; it's equal parts embarrassing and charming, but that kind of familial recognition is just another reason why I keep coming back.

I take a number to purchase bulk foods and wander the store while patiently and impatiently awaiting my number to be called. I hear the sound of fresh peanut butter being ground, a cheesemonger talking about his cheeses in striking detail, and the hum of voices and languages that surround all of the daily activity of filling bins, buckets, and shelves.

On a recent visit I picked up (in no particular order) lemon salt, rose-petal preserves, Sicilian lemon extract, three kinds of olives, pink peppercorns, flake salt, and, of course, dark-chocolate-covered ginger. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with most of these items. But every time I see that jar of rose-petal preserves on my counter at home, I'm instantly transported back to that bright winter afternoon that I walked into one of my favorite little shops in Brooklyn.

A place that's been around this long could easily be overlooked as just a neighborhood grocery. But choosing to vividly see, touch, smell, and listen to what happens when I walk through those doors-that is the fundamental magic of being present.

Consider This

Choose an ordinary place that you visit often and consciously decide to be present for every detail of your experience. Allow yourself to be fully there and experience all of it. What do you notice? What sounds surround you? What do you see that you may have missed before? What resonates for you?

The Polka-Dot Glass

As if it knew that I'd need to be held and comforted during a time of great loss, my body became softer and more full. I was now two sizes larger than I'd ever been before. My clothes no longer fit; many of them, still brand new with tags, bought for the life I had in the Before Times. A metaphor for the way I felt after trudging through the last year: I also didn't fit into this new world in the same way that I'd once confidently sauntered through the old one.

My pants were too snug; my jeans no longer fully zipped up. I once attempted wearing a long shirt and just leaving my jeans unzipped (who would know, anyway?!). Eventually, I stopped the charade altogether. Instead, I wore soft cashmere pants, boldly colored caftans, and patterned floaty dresses. In hindsight, those pieces weren't very different from the ones I'd worn before, except now, they weren't optional.

After months of feeling somewhat comfortable in my newly discovered soft clothing, it was time to let go of the tangible evidence of my former self. The one who sauntered, rather than trudged, through her life. The self whose body would never betray her. The self who knew, without question, who she was.

And so began an hours-long clothing purge of a different life, a well-lived life. I thought I'd be sad and disoriented, but I wasn't. I pulled off my soft pants and tank top combo and purposefully began trying things on. Each too-small item was neatly folded and placed into
a bag for donations. Three large bags overflowed with beautiful, once coveted articles of clothing. The bags swelled with my former life: from a crisp, brand-new, white designer button-down (to be worn with a bold, high-waisted skirt!) to an unworn, sparkly, hot-pink cocktail dress-the perfect dress intended for an invite that never came and a party that never happened.

After finishing up, I tearfully looked at the overflowing bags with both relief and delight. So many unnecessary clothes and so much weight unburdened. Lifted from my closet but also from my shoulders. I could breathe easier. I was no longer holding myself to a standard that didn't fit the woman I am today. And in this instance, fitting had nothing at all to do with size but everything to do with how I felt. When it occurred to me that I was transformed but still myself, I no longer needed to cling so tightly to the ghost of the woman I once was.

Two days and one carload later, I'd donated my clothing to a local mission thrift store. I was now figuratively forty pounds lighter and as free as a bird. But before heading back to my car, I quickly perused the glassware section. As if under a spotlight, there sat one brand-new polka-dot drinking glass. It was the perfect match to my decades-old set of polka-dot drinking glasses, the set with one missing glass that had broken the year before.

As fate would have it, my set is now complete. Again.

Consider This

Look for signs. In a world that often shuffles us around haphazardly, I believe that signs are like arrows that exist to gently guide us. Rather than rigidly marching through life with eyes focused forward, allow time for meandering and contemplation. Take the detour. Peruse the glassware section. Do the thing you feel compelled to do, even when you can't quite make sense of why. In these moments, we come face-to-face with our own inner knowledge while also making space for the collective wisdom that exists outside of ourselves.

Birthday Cake for All

My mother was-is still, to me-the matriarch of our family. For as long as I can remember, she would bake homemade birthday cakes for each of her children. As a Jewish mother, she showed her enduring love through food. We all understood this simple truth: these cakes, regardless of how old we'd become, were not optional. She was going to bake us a cake, and we would graciously accept it.

As soon as my (now) husband became part of our lives, Mama started baking him a birthday cake, too. He had no idea what he was in for. Mom's birthday cakes were extravagant. Because of her generous use of fresh fruit, pudding, and excessive amounts of whipped cream, the cakes weighed a ton. Every time I thought she was done decorating, she'd add yet another garnish on top. With every dash of sprinkles and every spritz of cake spray, she was...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Penguin Life
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2023
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0593492226
• ISBN 13: 9780593492222
• Einband: Gebundene Ausgabe
• Anzahl der Seiten: 288
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Penguin Random House Ireland; penguinrandomhouse@penguinrandomhouse.com; ; 1745 Broadway; New York; 10019; USA
• Verantwortliche Person: gpsr@libri.de; gpsr@libri.de; ; Friedensallee 273; Hamburg; 22763; Deutschland