Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes - Softcover

Sah, Dr. Sunita

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0593793714 ISBN 13: 9780593793718

Verlag: Diversified Publishing, 2025

Inhaltsangabe

Why is it so hard to speak up, even when we know something’s wrong?

This is the definitive book on defiance—a clear-eyed dissection of the forces that silence us, featuring groundbreaking research and legendary stories of defiance alongside everyday examples and strategies for how to unleash the power of a “True No.”

How many times have you wanted to object, disagree, or opt out of something—but ended up swallowing your words, shaking your head, and just going along? Analyzing cases from corporate corruption to sexual abuse to everyday acquiescence at work, the doctor’s office, and in our personal lives, award-winning organizational psychologist Dr. Sunita Sah delves deep into why the pressure to comply is a corrosive and often invisible force in our society. With her own revelatory research, she radically transforms our idea of defiance from a misunderstood negative trait into a crucial, positive force for personal and societal change. Taking us through her five stages of defiance, Dr. Sah equips readers with simple tools to make decisions that align with their values. Defy is the essential playbook for how to speak up and act when it matters most.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Dr. Sunita Sah is an award-winning professor at Cornell University and an expert in organizational psychology. She leads groundbreaking research on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. A trained physician, she practiced medicine in the United Kingdom and worked as a management consultant for the pharmaceutical industry. She currently teaches executives, leaders, and students in healthcare and business. Dr. Sah is a sought-after international speaker and consultant, advisor to government agencies, and former Commissioner of the National Commission on Forensic Science. Her multidisciplinary research and analyses have been widely published in leading academic journals and media entities including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American. She lives with her husband and son in New York.

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1

Wired to Comply

In 2012, when the Summer Olympic Games were held in London, I was eager to see the flame pass by on its way to the stadium and the opening ceremonies. On the day of the processional, I arranged to meet my husband on a street corner a short walk away from our apartment, with our then five-year-old son in tow. I had in mind a pleasant afternoon stroll, followed by an exciting glimpse of the torch, held aloft by one of the athletes.

This will be fun, I told my son, who didn t look convinced. You re going to witness history!

Although the walk started well, within a few minutes it became apparent that getting all the way there would be a struggle. The day was hot and he was tired. Before our apartment building was even out of sight, his heels were dragging. A few minutes after that, he asked to be carried. When I refused he was too heavy he sat down firmly on the pavement.

I don t want to go, he told me, his large brown eyes squinting in the sun.

I explained that the Olympics were special. I told him that seeing the famous flame in our neighborhood was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. But he was unmoved.

I don t want to see it, he answered, jutting his chin out. I want to go home.

I pulled on his arm. I asked him firmly. I even tried to pick him up. But I couldn t get more than a few steps down the stifling, crowded pavement before setting him back down again. I was frazzled, hot, and frustrated. We were going to miss the flame.

Why can t you be good? I said to my son as we walked home.

My son s only answer was a mulish shrug.

We never saw the flame. I watched it on television later that evening, and my husband laughed when I related the episode to him.

You sound just like one of those people, he said. Remember them?

I did. Soon after my son was born, I had been frequently puzzled by a question well-meaning acquaintances would ask:

Is he good?

What they meant was: Does your baby sleep when you want him to? Does he stop crying when you want him to?

In other words, does he do what you want him to do? Does he do what he s told?

As someone fascinated by defiance, this moral equation of obedience to goodness always perplexed me. I had spent years questioning and resisting it not only as an academic, but as a child of a strict upbringing. I sometimes joked that I studied defiance because my childhood had already given me a world-class education in how to be obedient.

And yet that London afternoon found me standing in the hot sun, pleading with my stubborn son to be good to do what I wanted him to do.

That s what kept me up that night, long after the opening ceremonies were over and the rest of my family was asleep. I should have known better should have known that I had just repeated to him the most basic, unexamined equation that people had impressed on me growing up:

Compliance = good.

Defiance = bad.

From a young age, we are taught to obey.

The first authority figure we routinely encounter is a caregiver, usually a parent, someone whose job it is to nourish us and help us survive, and whose instructions must be followed. Later, teachers often step into the picture, instructing their students not only how to read and do simple arithmetic, but also how to follow the social protocols of the classroom: sit still, raise your hand. Then as anyone who has attended middle school knows there is the considerable pressure from our peers to do things the way everyone else is doing them.

This early training has a large effect on us: psychologically, socially, and even neurologically. When we are young, our brains grow at unpre

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Diversified Publishing
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2025
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0593793714
• ISBN 13: 9780593793718
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 464
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Penguin Random House LLC; penguinrandomhouse@penguinrandomhouse.com; ; 1745 Broadway; New York; NY 10019; USA
• Verantwortliche Person: Penguin Random House Ireland; https://eu-contact.penguin.ie; ; Morrison Chambers, 32 Nassau Street; Dublin; D02 YH68; Irland