When women attempt to tell their pastor or counselor about a problem, they often find they are not believed, are not taken seriously, and are misunderstood. Not infrequently, they are considered abnormal, neurotic, immoral, or even mad. Consequently, they become silent because they cannot find the right words to bridge the chasm of misunderstanding and make themselves heard. By incorporating several case studies, Riet Bons-Storm explores why this misunderstanding is possible in a profession in which pastors generally are trained to listen carefully. She suggests that the reason may be that pastors - particularly males - are seldom aware of the male bias in the dominant theological and psychological discourses that form the points of reference for their pastoral care and the subconscious image of "normal" women that these pastors have. After analyzing the discourses and these images, Professor Bons-Storm shows, in practice, how ways can be found to listen with a mind that is more open to the specificity of the marginal discourse of women who try to speak in their own voice and be understood. When mutual understanding occurs, it becomes possible to join forces, to alter specific situations of power imbalances between men and women, and to move in the direction of manifesting an abundant life for everybody in God's name.
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Riet Bons-Storm is professor of Women's Studies and Pastoral Theology at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands.
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