The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties: An Irreverent Compendium of Must-Know Info from Sputnik to Smallpox and Marie Curie to Mao - Softcover

Matalon, David; Woolsey, Chris

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0767922999 ISBN 13: 9780767922999

Verlag: Crown, 2006

Inhaltsangabe

Banish awkward silences, boring weather talk, or (worst of all) the embarrassing conversation gaff with this pithy, hilarious guide to effortless party banter.

We’ve all been there. You’re at a party, surrounded by the most important people in your life. You’re cool. You’re casual. You’re witty and urbane. Until suddenly, quite unexpectedly, things take a turn for the worse when a subject thought to be common knowledge is lobbed your way. A hush falls over the room and every head seems to swivel expectantly in your direction.
[ART: SET THESE OFF IN A DIFFERENT COLOR?]
“Rasputin. Sure, Rasputin. The Russian guy, right? Who . . . who . . . whooooo was Russian.”

“Che Guevara? You mean the dancer?”

“Oh my God! Mao Tse-tung? They have the best chicken with cashews!”
The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties was written with just this moment in mind. In fourteen pain-free, laughter-filled chapters, authors David Matalon and Chris Woolsey brush away years of cobwebs on subjects as wide-ranging as the typical round of Jeopardy: war, science, politics, philosophy, the arts, business, literature, music, religion, and more.
Armed with The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties, you’ll know that Chicago Seven wasn’t a boy band, Martin Luther never fought for civil rights, and Franz Kafka isn’t German for “I have a bad cold.” You’ll be the smart one who’s the center of conversation—and nothing beats that feeling.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

DAVID MATALON is a film and TV screenwriter and is directing his first feature film in Los Angeles. CHRIS WOOLSEY is a freelance writer who has worked for Sony Pictures and Columbia Tri-Star. Chris also tours the country as a youth speaker.

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The War Conversation


The sadly useful thing about the war conversation is that there’s always some kind of bloodshed going on somewhere in the world, and so it's easy to bring up. Though military history has been traditionally a guy topic, these days it's quite likely that in a room full of people of either sex someone will have served or at least had a sibling, significant other, or “ex” who did. Certainly, if you’re attending any armed forces related affair, familiarizing yourself with a few topics in the war conversation will help you win friends and get people talking. However, be mindful that you are likely to find a handful of Experts (see the Appendix, Who’s Who at the Party) in the crowd who will give you a run for your military money. So once things are rolling, consider where to take the talk next. Generally, military buffs tend to like video games, sports, action flicks (war movies), and politics. It’s worth noting, if you're dealing with people in the actual military, it’s a good rule of thumb to stay clear of criticizing the government, unless you get the sense that the people you’re dealing with have liberal, or at the very least, tolerant views.



Hannibal Was Republic Enemy Number One

When Are We Talking About: 247 BC-183 BC

Why Are We Even Talking About This: Hannibal was one of the most famous military commanders in history, who impossibly led his army (including cavalry and elephants), across the Swiss Alps into the heart of the Roman Empire, not only surprising the Roman legions but nearly destroying them.

What You Need to Know to Sound Smart: Hannibal Barca was born in Carthage (near modern-day Tunis), North Africa, in 247 BC, the son of Hamilcar (boy, they sure had great names in Carthage, didn't they?), the general who defended Sicily against the Romans in the First Punic War (nothing like the Pubic War waged by penis enlargement companies on the Internet). While most dads teach their boys to play baseball and fish, Hamilcar despised the Roman Empire and kindled the same hatred in Hannibal. With training-spear in hand, ten-year-old Hannibal traveled with his father to war in Spain, and by age twenty-six was a general, replacing his dead brother-in-law, Hasdrubal (a name ripe for telemarketer screwups: “Is Mr. Haysdrooble in? Well, is Mrs. Haysdrooble there?”) In 223 BC, Hannibal attacked and conquered Saguntum, modern-day Sagunto (wherever the hell that is…just kidding, it's in Spain), and won the support of his native city, thus laying the foundation for what would become the Second Punic War (218-201 BC).

Fed up with Roman imperialism (he preferred his own), Hannibal decided to surprise the Roman army by taking the fight to them. In a daring and nearly suicidal move, Hannibal led his Carthaginian army, including baggage train (that is, food supplies, not that blind date you had who unloaded all of his problems on you the first time you got together for tuna rolls), on foot across the Alps, a total of 1,500 miles with not a freeway or HoJo’s in sight. Hannibal appeared unexpectedly in Northern Italy and fell upon the undefended Po Valley (218-217 BC), catching the Roman soldiers with their togas down around their ankles.

As word of Hannibal’s victories spread, new recruits from Rome’s other enemies (like everyone in civilization) flocked to his banner, following Hannibal as he defeated several Roman armies (mind you, the mightiest military force in the world at that time), sometimes while outnumbered four to one. At the famed Battle of Cannae, Hannibal brilliantly used his cavalry to outflank the Romans, who had twice as many soldiers, and destroyed their army to a man. (His name was Frederico and he was a snappy dresser.) Between 25,000 and 50,000 Romans were slain and 10,000 captured, compared to Hannibal's 5,700, of which the vast majority were Celts and Iberians (Spanish).

With this great victory, Southern Italy rose up against the empire, joining Hannibal, as he threatened to end the power of Rome a few centuries earlier than scheduled. However, internal squabbles from the nimrods back in Carthage resulted in the loss of financial support, and Hannibal was left to survive on traveler's checks. (“Hey, guys, just like twenty more bucks and I could finish this.”) Hannibal refused to go home, and instead hung out in Italy, touring the cities with his army, sacking wherever he went if his rigatoni wasn’t al dente and crushing any who dared to face him, until Roman generals were too afraid to take the field (imagine if Mexicans invaded Texas and took over the entire southern half of the state and the U.S. government was helpless to stop them … well, just imagine Texas). Hannibal was at last recalled to defend his home city against a young Roman commander, Scipio Africanus, who at the Battle of Zama (Africa), finally conquered the Carthaginian commander.

Hannibal retired from military life in 200 BC, but four years later, began to publicly lash out at his city’s corrupt aristocracy. The powers that be, fearing Hannibal's influence, sold him out to the Romans (who still had a Punic bone to pick with him for rubbing their noses in the elephant poo he left all over their country) by falsely accusing him of plotting another attack on Rome. In an incredible strategic blunder, Hannibal launched a surprise assault against the Empire (“They think I'm gonna attack, but what they don’t know is … I'm gonna attack!”). But as we said, the Romans did know and had a massive welcome back party waiting. Consequently, Hannibal was forced to retreat to Asia Minor in 183 BC, where the Romans pressured the local ruler, Prusias I, for his surrender (“If you give us Hannibal, we’ll give you working toilets. Whaddya say?”). Trapped and out of options, rather than give in to his lifelong enemy, Hannibal poisoned himself in Libyssa, Turkey. Death by street kebab, what a way to go.

Interesting Tidbit: When his son was just nine years old, before departing on the Spanish campaign, Hamilcar took Hannibal to the altar and made him repeat this oath, “I swear that so soon as age will permit, I will use fire and steel to arrest the destiny of Rome.” Hatred truly does begin in the home.

Ways to Bring Up Hannibal in Conversation

• There’s more foreigners here than in Hannibal's army.

• That guy is the Hannibal of my existence, always popping up unexpectedly and making my life miserable.

• I’m having a Hannibal day. I feel like I’m winning the battle, but losing the war.



Saladin Won the Noble Prize During the Crusades


When Are We Talking About: 1138-1193

Why Are We Even Talking About This: Saladin was the notoriously fair and chivalrous sultan of Egypt and the greatest general to face the European crusaders. He conquered Jerusalem and restored Sunnism to Egypt and Syria.

What You Need to Know to Sound Smart: Salah ad-Din Yusuf Ibn Ayyub (or Saladin, to anyone living west of the Nile) was born in Tikrit, Mesopotamia, around 1138, to a wealthy Kurdish family in northern Iraq (you know, the people from the old “no fly zone”), but grew up in the court of Nur ad–Din, the ruler of Syria, the caliph of Damascus, kind of like a state governor but with camels. In the court, he studied the Koran, philosophy, the Koran, military history, the Koran, the Koran, poetry and followed that up with a little bedtime Koran. At age fourteen, when most young boys are mastering Halo2, Saladin...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Crown
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2006
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0767922999
• ISBN 13: 9780767922999
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 320
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: preigu; mail@preigu.de; ; Lengericher Landstr. 19; Osnabrück; 49078; Deutschland