New Man Journey: Finding Meaning in Retirement - Softcover

Silver, Steve

 
9780781408677: New Man Journey: Finding Meaning in Retirement

Inhaltsangabe

While retirement can be liberating, it can also feel daunting. For decades a man focuses on building his career, providing for his family, and being a father to his children.
 
But once the career has faded and the children have grown, what’s the his next step? What’s his next great challenge?
 
Himself.
 
New Man Journey offers a practical game plan for men seeking purpose, fulfillment, and spiritual growth. Drawing from years of senior men’s ministry and his own journey, Steve Silver encourages readers to examine their priorities and plan for the adventure of a lifetime. Warm in tone, conversational in style, New Man Journey is ideal for any retiree who’s ready for the next challenge and chapter of his life. 

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Steve Silver is a semi-retired executive and the founder of Men’s Golf Fellowship, an organization dedicated to helping retired men take a fresh look at their goals, relationships, and faith. Steve and his wife, Sandy, reside in Naples, Florida, in the winter and Brookfield, Connecticut, in the summer. They have three grown children and six grandchildren.

Von der hinteren Coverseite

“Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith ‘A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!’"
Robert Browning, Rabbi Ben Ezra
Retirement. You’ve worked for it, planned for it, and dreamed about it, life’s great permanent vacation.
But what if retirement could be measured in more than hours on the beach, days on the golf course, and weeks of travel?
What if retirement was the beginning, not the end, of your life’s greatest work?
What if the rest of life could be filled with youthful, passionate purpose?
New Man Journey is for any man who longs to make retirement about more than recreation. Author Steve Silver offers a practical, powerful field guide for catching a big vision, charting a new territory, and finding a fresh perspective that will change how you see yourself, your relationships, and your world.
Get ready to take on your biggest adventure yet: You.

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NEW MAN JOURNEY

FINDING MEANING IN RETIREMENT

By STEPHEN W. SILVER

David C. Cook

Copyright © 2013 Stephen W. Silver
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-7814-0867-7

Contents

Cover,
Foreword,
Acknowledgments,
Introduction,
1. Let's Get Real,
2. What I Don't Know Won't Hurt Me,
3. What Lies Within?,
4. Our Dual Nature,
5. The Missing Part,
6. Choices,
7. The New Man Defined,
8. New Life,
9. New Suit,
10. Ultimate Victory,
What Now?,
Extras,


CHAPTER 1

Let's Get Real

To get our New Man Journey started in the right direction, we've got to be honest with ourselves about who we are and where we're going.


All journeys begin somewhere. Was there ever a time in your life when you had the urge to just pick up and go? Try something completely new? Break the mold, shake it up, maybe even change your life? Do you remember the excitement? The anticipation? Those great feelings are usually the domain of youth, but they don't need to be. As we get older, the circumstances of our lives may limit our physical explorations, but those inner longings have no such constraints. These aspirations ignite journeys of the heart and spirit.

We're here at the beginning of what will be one of those journeys—one that will illuminate our understanding and challenge our views about how best to live the rest of our lives. That's a big statement. This is a big topic. Stay with me. The juice is worth the squeeze.

We're built to learn, change, and grow. To become who and what we were created to be. If we're not there yet, something inside stirs a longing for more, for something different. That's a good problem to have. I had it.

My need for a more purposeful life reached a crescendo ten years ago. At fifty-five, I'd achieved business success and financial stability. I was on good footing with my wife, family, friends, and faith. A comfortable early retirement was in sight. Life was good. Things were stable. I could finally relax and coast.

Yet something was wrong with that picture. It was incomplete. Had I finished one major phase of my life just to sit in an easy chair? I knew that dog wouldn't hunt. I needed more. More in my friendships. More in my marriage. More with my family. Most importantly, less of Steve and more of the Lord. Knowing I couldn't do this alone, I engaged others as sojourners on that quest and discovered that my needs and desires were the same as theirs.

Over the last ten years, these travelers and I have discovered two things that are essential for this journey: honesty and humility. These character cousins are the guardrails on our road. Without them, we'll lose our way. With them, we'll reach our destination. I'm excited to travel this road with you. Along the way, I'll disclose personal challenges that are a little uncomfortable to share. There are things I've had to admit to myself to make progress on my journey. I'll be asking you to be honest with yourself as well—to get real. I believe we're alike in many ways, so there won't be many surprises.

A few of the stories in the pages ahead are composites of the journeys of many men I've known. We'll see ourselves in them. Learn and grow with them. Let's begin with one about a former postal worker I'll call Gary and see how he's faring.


Gary's wife, Audrey, still wears her winter coat as she stands in the kitchen. She yanks open drawers and cabinets. "I don't know what to make for dinner," she says. "We're out of everything."

Gary sits at the kitchen table going through the mail. He's got his coat on too. It keeps the heat bills down.

"We could go out," he says.

Audrey knows better. "You know we can't afford that."

Gary feels his face redden. Is it his fault that the recession kicked in right after he took early retirement from the post office? That they'd drained the rest of their savings helping their kids get through community colleges? That now, not even the local grocery stores seem interested in hiring a sixty-year-old?

"I had an interview today," he snaps. "I'm doing the best I can."

Audrey turns away from the counter to look at him. "I know that."

He tosses a pile of bills onto the corner of the table and stands up. "Why can't you plan ahead? How hard is it to figure out a few meals for the week?"

Audrey's mouth opens, but for a few seconds nothing comes out.

"You know I'm helping out with the church auction," she finally says. "This is a crazy week for me. Don't you have time to help me just a little?"

Don't I have time? he thinks to himself. Sure, I'm not working. I have all the time in the world!

"Forget it," he says, his voice rising. "You don't have to make dinner for me. I'll get my own." With that, he stomps out of the room and the house, slamming the front door behind him.

A brisk breeze hits Gary in the face and instantly lowers his body temperature. The frigid air cools his anger as well. What's wrong with him anyway? Why is he so mad? He knows he shouldn't blame their problems on Audrey. Sure, he isn't too happy about needing to go back to work, or the fact that he's having so much trouble finding a job. But in many ways, life is good. They're both healthy, and the kids are doing fine. His daughter and son-in-law are even expecting their first child.

So why does the future feel so bleak?


Gary thought that by the time he was in his sixties, he'd have life pretty well figured out. He thought he'd have enough money set aside to live on and a loving family with whom to share his retirement years. Now that he's there, it's not quite what he expected. Disappointment. Emptiness. Confusion. Gary feels as if he's riding a train into a dark tunnel and isn't too sure he wants to know what's ahead.

A man named Tom is in a very different place ... yet not so different. His story is next.


I don't understand.

Tom eases the new, fully loaded, red Mercedes SL500 roadster out of the dealership and onto US Highway 1. Though it's a crisp October day, he has the top down. He can see the leaves turning in the maples alongside the road. He can also see his reflection in the mirror: the strong chin, the Louis Vuitton Evasion sunglasses, the full head of hair with some graying at the temples, a look some describe as "ruggedly handsome."

Tom feels eyes on him as he signals left. A blonde in a black BMW slows down and lets him change lanes for the turn onto Putnam Avenue. She takes a second glance as he makes the turn.

I just don't get it.

Tom had written a check for the full amount to buy the Mercedes, more than $130,000. He'd briefly negotiated on the price—he is a derivatives trader, after all—but the effort was only halfhearted. The point is that he no longer needs to haggle. After all these years, the eighteen-hour days and seemingly endless running of models and computations have finally paid off. Commissions, bonuses, and promotions have come his way. His credit cards are no longer issued by Kmart and Kohl's but by Neiman Marcus and Saks. The little home he and Brandy shared has been exchanged for a 6,500-square-foot estate—which doesn't include the pool house.

It's not supposed to feel like this.

Tom and Brandy are members of the most prestigious country club in Greenwich. They and their two kids summer on Nantucket and ski Breckenridge over the kids' winter breaks. Tom is fifty-five years old and, at last, everything is coming together the way...

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