The 10 Commandments of Marriage: Practical Principles to Make Your Marriage Great - Softcover

Young, Ed

 
9780802412249: The 10 Commandments of Marriage: Practical Principles to Make Your Marriage Great

Inhaltsangabe

Marriage is God's idea. He planned it. He designed it. And if you follow His blueprint, it will be more rewarding, more loving, more exciting than you ever imagined.

In The 10 Commandments of Marriage, Dr. Ed Young shares the “thou shalts” and the “thou shalt nots” of successful relationships—straight from the pages of God's Word. Long-married couples will find love-building precepts that will revive a failing marriage and make a great relationship even better. Soon-to-be-marrieds will discover what marriage is all about and gain priceless insights into starting on solid ground.

In words that are profound, often humorous, but always biblical, Dr. Young draws from decades of counseling couples to provide 10 commandments for a lifelong marriage that sizzles. God wants your marriage to be nothing short of incredible. And it could begin with this amazing book.

"The 10 Commandments of Marriage not only tells you 'what' but, thankfully, also tells you 'how.' Ed Young has taken the principles of Scripture and has had the courage to test them on the linoleum glued to average life on planet earth." — Beth Moore (bestselling author and speaker)

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

ED YOUNG has been the pastor of 32,000-member Second Baptist Church in Houston, Texas, since 1978 and is also a trustee of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and Houston Baptist University. A former president of the Southern Baptist Convention, Ed is the author of many books including The Ten Commandments of Marriage and The Ten Commandments of Parenting, and ministers through the international television and radio broadcasts of Winning Walk. He and his wife, Jo Beth, have three adult sons and seven grandchildren and reside in Houston.

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The 10 Commandments of Marriage

Practical Principles to Make Your Marriage Great

By Ed Young, Ginger Kolbaba

Moody Publishers

Copyright © 2014 H. Edwin Young
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8024-1224-9

Contents

Foreword, 9,
Preface, 11,
Introduction: Ten Principles for a Successful Marriage, 13,
1. Thou Shalt Be Selfless, 17,
2. Thou Shalt Have No Strings Attached, 39,
3. Thou Shalt Continually Communicate, 61,
4. Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally, 85,
5. Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Materialism, 107,
6. Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation—Online and Otherwise, 121,
7. Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate—490 Times and More, 143,
8. Thou Shalt Romance the Home, 163,
9. Thou Shalt Begin Again and Again, 181,
10. Thou Shalt Build a Winning Team, 199,
A Final Word, 215,
Acknowledgments, 217,
Suggested Reading, 218,
Notes, 219,


CHAPTER 1

THOU SHALT BE SELFLESS


Over my many years as pastor, I've "been to the altar" more times than I can count. Many of the ceremonies have left me with lasting memories—some touching, some humorous. But in the middle of all the smiles, laughter, and tears of joy that accompany most weddings, something very serious takes place.

When I perform a wedding, I am asking the couple to promise—before God, family, friends, and me—that they will love and cherish each other. I ask them to pledge to honor and sustain each other in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth. I instruct them to put the others needs and desires before their own and anyone else s, except God's.

These solemn promises make up the wedding vows. So far, every bride and groom standing before me has responded with a heartfelt "I do!" But sometimes I wonder if they understand fully what they are promising as they exchange their vows. When I ask the couple to make these promises, I am in reality challenging both partners to embrace ten biblical principles that, if applied, will help their marriage not only to survive but thrive. The task will involve commitment, work, plus a lot of give-and-take, but they (and you) truly can have a marriage that sizzles!

That's the kind of marriage God wants us to have. After all, marriage is His idea. He has a divine purpose and plan for the relationship between a husband and wife. And like all of His plans, it is perfect.


GOD'S PERFECT PLAN

God performed the very first marriage ceremony—a beautiful garden wedding on a perfect day with a perfect man marrying a perfect woman. Adam and Eve had it all.

Just imagine. Adam could truly say to Eve, "You're the only girl in the world for me!" And he would never hear from Eve those haunting words, "Let me tell you about the guy I could have married."

This first couple enjoyed the perfect love relationship, the kind God intended for a husband and wife to share for a lifetime. Adam and Eve lived for some time in sinless perfection, enjoying a pristine garden where God visited them and walked with them in the cool of the evening. Not even a hint of sin or imperfection marred the picture. The Bible tells us that Adam and Eve walked around the garden naked but felt no shame or embarrassment (Genesis 2:25). And their nakedness went beyond the merely physical; they remained totally transparent with each other and with God.

God had promised this first couple great blessings and had given them the run of the garden ... with just one condition. "This whole garden is yours," God told Adam, "and you can eat the fruit from any tree or plant—that is, all except one. I have placed one tree in the middle of the garden from which you are not to eat. If you do eat from this tree, you will gain the knowledge of good and evil—and you're not equipped to handle the weight of that knowledge. If you eat of that tree, you will die" (Genesis 2:16–17, paraphrase).


GOD'S PERFECT PLAN DISRUPTED

Adam and Eve both knew the consequences of disobedience. They realized that God had forbidden them to eat from this single tree. But the devil, using language filled with deception and selfishness, enticed Eve.

"Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree in the garden'? ... You surely will not surely die!" the serpent hissed. "For God knows that [when] you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:1, 4–5).

You know the rest of the story. Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree, and with their disobedience a divine curse fell on all humanity, resulting in the ultimate tragedy of human history. On that day sin and selfishness permanently stained our existence. At that moment, we lost the perfect fellowship with God that He intended for us to share with Him. At that very instant, every human relationship we would enter, including marriage, shriveled under a divine curse.


HISTORY'S FIRST MARITAL BATTLE

This tragic chain of events set off the first selfishness-induced marital battle in history. When God confronted Adam about his sin, the man responded by blaming his wife: "Lord, it's not my fault. It's hers!" He used different words, but he intended exactly that accusation. The Bible reports that he told God, "'The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it'" (v. 12, NIV, emphasis added). When God turned to Eve to hear her side of the story, she did no better. She blamed her surroundings and her circumstances: "God, I can't be held responsible for this. The serpent deceived me. Blame him for this!" (Genesis 3:12)

The whole sordid scene provides a vivid and ugly picture of selfishness in action. It reveals two people giving in to temptation, sinning against God and against each other, then covering for themselves—all in an attempt to avoid accepting the blame and consequences for their sin. The husband blamed the wife and God, while the wife blamed her circumstances.

Sound familiar?

As a consequence, the beautiful marriage relationship that God had designed as a perfect union to benefit both the man and the woman, and to glorify Himself, collapsed into a bitter exchange of accusations and recriminations.

Things have never been the same since.


THE NUMBER ONE PROBLEM IN MARRIAGE

Our first commandment deals with the number one problem in marriage, a setback that cropped up in the garden with Adam and Eve. Since then we've seen it continue all the way to the twenty-first century. What is it ?

Selfishness!

Current research demonstrates that today, people are even more unashamedly into themselves than ever before. Millennial constantly place themselves at the center of self-created digital stages. A Pew Research poll found that 55 percent have posted a "selfie" on a social media site. For example, I know a young woman who was speeding. As she was pulled over, she took a "selfie" video and tweeted it out to her followers. She also got a ticket for texting and driving, since she was delayed in handing over her license so she could digitally post her reaction to the cop. I cannot make this stuff up! Selfies may not be the primary problem in marriages, but the root of the selfie is an obsession with self. This is called selfishness and remains the number one problem in your marriage and in mine.

We all suffer from the sin of selfishness. It lies at the heart of nearly every marital problem. My close friend Gary Thomas says this in his book Sacred...

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