When Love's in View: Finding Focus in Dating and Relationships

Edwards, Conway; Edwards, Jada

ISBN 10: 080248087X ISBN 13: 9780802480873

Verlag: MOODY PUBL, 2008

Inhaltsangabe

Dr. Conway Edwards, the singles pastor at Oak Cliff Bible Church in Texas, along with his wife, Jada, writes from the heart to Christian singles about the best way to prepare for marriage. Discussing courtship and dating from a biblical perspective, they also share their personal story- including the mistakes they made along the way. The result is a thought-provoking, encouraging manual on making the most of your single years, and getting yourself ready for marriage.

This hard-hitting manual is both warm and honest as the Edwards share their stories of singless and marriage, as well as unearth many gems found in God's Word regarding relationships and the importance of personal spiritual maturity. Treasures include:

• Definition of a R.E.A.L. man
• Six behaviors of a godly man
• How women S.E.R.V.E. as a helpmate
• Eight behaviors of a godly woman
• Seven biblical truths regarding relationships and marriage
• Using F.A.I.T.H. to identify lasting qualities in a mate
• Seven-point character inspection
• Frequently Asked Questions regarding Christian dating and relationships

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

CONWAY EDWARDS (Dallas Theological Seminary, Regent University) is Lead Pastor of the church, One, which ministers to the evolving communities of Plano, Allen, Frisco, and McKinney, Texas. He is also the Executive Director for the US-based ministry Caribbean Choice for Christ and the president of the National Center for Christian Leadership-Jamaica. Conway is the author of Leading a Turnaround Ministry: A Process for Exponential Growth. He co-authored When Love’s in View: Finding Focus in Dating and Relationships and The Undercover Woman with his wife, Jada. He and Jada reside in Allen, Texas.

JADA EDWARDS is an experienced speaker, Bible teacher, and mentor and holds a Master of Business Administration from the University of Texas at Dallas. She currently serves as the Creative Arts Architect for her church, One, where she seeks to serve the evolving communities of Collin County through creative expression and cultural relevance. She also works in new business development, partner relations and marketing for Caribbean Choice for Christ. Jada and her husband, Conway, have co-authored two books: When Love’s in View: Finding Focus in Dating and Relationships and The Undercover Woman: A Guide for Single Women and Their Spiritual Fathers. Jada lives in Allen, Texas with her husband.

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When Loves in View

finding focus in dating and relationshipsBy Conway Edwards Jada Edwards

Moody Publishers

Copyright © 2008 Dr. Conway and Jada Edwards
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8024-8087-3

Contents

Foreword..........................................................9Preface: Take the Lead............................................11Acknowledgments...................................................13Introduction......................................................15Chapter 1. The Journey Begins.....................................19Chapter 2. The Man You Are Becoming...............................25One Man's Experience..............................................37Chapter 3. The Woman You are Becoming.............................39One Woman's Experience............................................53Chapter 4. Who's Your Comforter?..................................59Chapter 5. Experiencing Healthy Relationships.....................69One Couple's Experience...........................................79Chapter 6. Got F.A.I.T.H.?........................................85Chapter 7. Our Story: He Said, She Said...........................105Chapter 8. Frequently Asked Questions.............................125About the Authors.................................................137Discussion Guide..................................................141Suggested Reading List............................................151

Chapter One

the journey begins

This story began at a time in my life when God chose to teach me about spiritual maturity. You see, He was ready for me to grow in my character and went about capturing my attention in a very interesting way. I had been in America for about three years. I was pursuing my master's degree in business while serving as youth pastor for a church in San Diego, California. As far as I was concerned, life was wonderful. I was enjoying school, but most of all I enjoyed my role in ministering to young people. Little did I know-my life was about to drastically change.

One day while studying, a young lady ran up to me, crying. "You don't know me," she began, "but I know you. You're the youth pastor at our church. I just lost my thesis when the computer crashed. Could you pray for me?"

"I'd love to; let's pray," I replied. After all, I was a youth pastor at the church, and it was my duty to support any member during such an anxious time. That prayer began an interesting relationship between us. We started talking more at church, as well as spending time together outside of church. It wasn't too long before we became very good friends. She was a sweet young lady who loved ministry. We had great conversations. We laughed together, ministered together, went out on dates, and took trips together. She became an integral part of my life. I enjoyed her personality and her company; it was great being around a young lady who genuinely loved God.

Because she was a servant by nature, she often helped me finish papers for school. If I needed her to run an errand, she would do it. She would either bring me food or cook for me if she thought I was hungry, and she would even do my laundry without my asking. Whatever I needed, her main goal became to satisfy and serve me. It was not too difficult to see that I was the primary benefactor in our relationship. For a while, I considered whether she was the one for me, but I couldn't make up my mind. I was undecided and scared and did not want to make a mistake. Quite honestly, our friendship was great and very comfortable just as it was, so I never felt any urgency to make a decision. Deep down, it felt good to be around someone who really cared and had so much affection for me. I also knew that she respected me as a leader in ministry. However, I was too young, too selfish, and too prideful to even consider that her emotional investment in our relationship was far greater than mine.

A year and a half later, after consulting with mentors and spending a lot of time in prayer, I felt the call of God to attend seminary in Texas. A few of my friends, this young lady included, flew with me to Dallas to help me get settled. When they were leaving to head back to California, I pulled her aside and began talking with her. I knew that if I was struggling with the direction of the relationship when we were in the same city, there was no way we would be able to maintain our relationship while we were apart. As a result, I had decided that it would be best for both of us if we just went ahead and ended the relationship.

"I don't think we can have a long-distance relationship," I said.

She responded, "What do you mean? I thought it was just a matter of time before we got married. We've spent so much time together, and we've gotten to know each other so well." I could see the hurt in her eyes and hear it in her voice. But I continued.

"No," I replied. "I think that God is calling me in another direction, so I'm just going to follow Him." I tried my best to be sensitive and even justified my decision with God's leading. Surely she could understand.

After what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence, she spoke. This young lady, whom I had known to be so gentle, tender, and caring, spoke a very bold statement to me. She looked me square in the eyes and said, "God's got great plans for you, but if you don't fix this issue, it's going to derail you." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Instead of being overtaken by emotion, she was calling me out! She was basically saying that the way in which I was choosing to deal with our relationship was a warning sign. If I didn't learn how to relate to women in a healthy way, I was going to run into big problems for the rest of my life. I appreciated her concern, but I didn't think much of it beyond that.

I thought that was the end of it; however, several months after she left Dallas I received a phone call from her.

"Conway," she said. "I care about you too much to leave this problem unchecked." I didn't know where she was going with this, but I wanted to hear her out.

"All right; then let's talk about it," I responded.

"No, I don't think you'll listen to me if we talk one-on-one about this issue." Again, I didn't know where her thinking was, but I could not have imagined what came next.

About a week later I got a call from one of the elders at my former church. He said, "Conway, I can't believe what I'm hearing about you from this young lady, We want to fly you back to San Diego and hear your side of the story." I was absolutely shocked and thought, Has she gotten the elders of my church involved? Was it that serious? I mean, I knew that I could have handled it better, but this seemed a bit extreme. I couldn't believe they were going to fly me from Texas to California just to have a conversation about a relationship.

I decided to consult some counselors from school and at the church I was currently attending. I asked them if they thought I needed to go back to meet with my former elders. Of the ten people I consulted, nine said the San Diego church was no longer my authority. Therefore I was under no obligation to go back. But one person said, "You need to return." The Holy Spirit used that individual to convict me. I was being led to go back even though I was not looking forward to it.

My former elders paid the plane fare and flew me back to San Diego. Seemingly in a matter of seconds, I found myself in a room with ten elders from the church. The worship leader, who had been a spiritual mentor for...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: MOODY PUBL
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2008
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 080248087X
• ISBN 13: 9780802480873
• Einband: Broschiert
• Anzahl der Seiten: 147
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar