First-Time Dad: The Stuff You Really Need to Know - Softcover

Fuller, John

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0802487505 ISBN 13: 9780802487506

Verlag: Moody Publishers, 2011

Inhaltsangabe

Perhaps the most powerful influence in the world is that of a dad on his child. Baseball gloves, dirty diapers, tiny little hands, first days of school, daddy-daughter dances, and learner's permits... and so much more! There's no way you can be ready for it all, but this is when you need to get a bit of a head start...

First Time Dad by Focus on the Family ministry veteran (and father of 6) John Fuller lets you in on the stuff you really need to know... because in just a few months or weeks or days, your life is going to change--forever. Set good priorities. Break bad habits and/or family patterns. Recognize and recover from some common fathering mistakes. Know that your words have immense power. And learn how to cultivate a lasting parent-child relationship. So, instead of wondering "oh man, oh man, oh man... what am I going to do now?" for 9 months... read this short book (plus it's pretty fun too) and get excited!

"Dad, your job is critical... And you can do it."

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

JOHN FULLER is vice president of Audio and New Media at Focus on the Family and co-host of the daily “Focus on the Family” broadcast. He leads the team that produces more than a dozen Focus programs reaching millions of listeners around the world. Many of these features and podcasts are also available at www.focusonthefamily.com. A media veteran of more than 30 years, John writes and speaks about creativity, media trends, influential leadership, excellence, and social media. As a father of six, he writes and speaks about strong marriages and effective parenting. John and his wife Dena are also advocates for orphan care and adoption. John has a M.A. from the University of Northern Colorado, and serves as an elected member of the board of the National Religious Broadcasters.

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first-time dad

the stuff you really need to knowBy JOHN FULLER PAUL BATURA

Moody Publishers

Copyright © 2011 John Fuller
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8024-8750-6

Contents

Chapter 1: Great Expectations..................................9Chapter 2: What Fatherhood Is All About........................21Chapter 3: Time and Priorities.................................31Chapter 4: Break the Chain.....................................45Chapter 5: How a Baby Affects Your Family......................59Chapter 6: Loving Your Wife....................................69Chapter 7: Loving Your Baby's Mother...........................79Chapter 8: Boys-n-Girls........................................89Chapter 9: Helping Your Child Succeed..........................105Chapter 10: The Keys to Your Child's Heart.....................119Chapter 11: Spiritual Formation................................135Chapter 12: Blink..............................................149Addendum.......................................................158Notes..........................................................165Acknowledgments................................................167

Chapter One

Great Expectations

I am giddy; expectation whirls me round. —William Shakespeare

FROM THE MOMENT you learned about the pregnancy (or that you were going to adopt), you've been anticipating that little one. This chapter will help you deal with your fears and expectations about your coming years as a dad—and offer practical suggestions for managing the many changes headed your way.

On a recent Saturday morning, I found myself facing a tedious chore. After too many years, it was time to weed out the files in our home office. I'm not sure what I expected to find, but in a matter of minutes, I found myself awash in wonderful memories.

My wife, Dena, had saved physician records going back twenty years, and am I glad she did. The documents tracked our struggle to become parents and recorded her numerous visits, early in our marriage, with the obstetrician-gynecologist. We were anxious to have kids, but conception eluded us time and again.

Our season of infertility spanned nearly two years. That's relatively brief compared to the anguish many couples face when trying to conceive, but it was still a painful season for us. At the time, it consumed us. But now, two decades and six children later, I realized how the years had softened the memories of that emotional time. I had forgotten the difficulties and disappointments, the months of tears and sorrow as we faced another door closing on our hopes to become parents.

My mind wandered back as I read the doctor's notes, and I smiled as I remembered that day when, after years of waiting, we finally had a positive pregnancy test! It was almost unbelievable. Really? Yes, the test is positive! What joy—we were (finally!) going to be parents!

Now What?

As the news began to sink in, our heads began to swirl. We knew we were headed for changes. Big changes! But we didn't know what those changes might be—or how we would weather them. We knew just enough to know that you don't know what you don't know.

On the positive side, we were confident we had a strong marriage and that this next stage of life—parenting—was something we were ready to experience. Despite our many questions, we expected it would be a pretty easy progression—a transition we believed we were prepared to handle and succeed at.

Those expectations would soon meet reality.

For the next six or seven months, much of what we did together and talked about was centered on the "Little Fuller" we'd be welcoming into the world. We were excited! All was right with our world—or at least there was nothing wrong that our new child couldn't make right.

Little did we know that in only a few months we'd be stretched so tight and worn so thin we'd feel as if we would break. I could never have imagined we'd be arguing over the baby—and all kinds of things that now seem silly. I couldn't know how little sleep I'd learn to operate on. There was no way to prepare for the doubts and insecurities I would feel as a new dad. But fatigue, as Abraham Lincoln said, makes cowards of men.

But wait! We were in love. We got along famously! How could a baby pull us apart? And parenting—it can't be that hard; what's there to know? The answers to those questions are the inspiration for this book. It's never easy being a father—it's even more difficult being a first-time father. And keeping your marriage strong while you learn, on the job, takes a lot of effort.

Looking back over those old medical records, I came to a stark realization. Although I didn't know it at the time, I was sitting on a fault line, oblivious to the seismic changes coming our way.

Immediate Adjustments

Some of the changes we made prior to our child's birth seemed insignificant. Our conversations changed from "the two of us" to "the three of us." We started thinking about the car—it was a small hatchback—and wondered where we'd put the car seat and the stroller. We started thinking about the house and yard. The baby's room would need some paint and preparation, and the backyard wasn't adequately fenced—would we be comfortable letting the baby play back there?

Clearly "the baby" would need a lot of stuff. A bassinet, clothing, a stroller, car seat, diapers, etc. We had a lot of shopping to do. We reveled in discussing the "best" things to get and enjoyed visiting stores trying to find great deals. Of course, new things meant we had to rearrange our house to make room. The spare bedroom in our modest house became the nursery. Painting and cleaning together, we prepared to become first-time parents.

Thoughts about what life would be like with "Junior" occupied our minds and our conversations. What would he or she (we didn't know the baby's gender) be like? What name would we choose? Would she have Dena's brunette hair or my blond locks? What would we have to do to meet his needs? How would we help her to be happy and to eventually grow into the adult God intended? We sifted through a variety of expectations about children and about being parents.

We started reading pregnancy books that showed the baby's growth and the ongoing effects on Mom's body. We took "husband-coached childbirth" classes so we could welcome this baby into the world in the best manner possible. We checked out baby name books and parenting books from the library. We listened to radio programs like Focus on the Family to learn about parenthood concerns. We talked and spent time with experienced parents. We tried our best to prepare for the new responsibility we'd undertake in a few months. We knew there was a lot we didn't know, so we endeavored to learn as much as possible.

Ready! Ready!

If you visit the Amtrak level of New York City's Penn Station, you'll notice a large schedule board that hangs from the ceiling. At rush hour, crowds gather there, sometimes several people deep, to await their train's track assignment. People are eager to make a beeline for the train to get a good seat. Just prior to the boarding...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Moody Publishers
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2011
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0802487505
• ISBN 13: 9780802487506
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 168
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Moody Publishers; https://www.moodypublishers.com; ; 820 NORTH LASALLE BLVD.; CHICAGO; IL; 60610; USA
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar