Anger: How to Live with and without It - Softcover

Ellis, Albert; Lange Ed.D., Arthur

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0806538112 ISBN 13: 9780806538112

Verlag: Kensington, 2017

Inhaltsangabe

With a New Foreword by Raymond A. DiGiuseppe, Ph.D.

CLASSIC SELF-HELP FROM A RESPECTED PIONEER OF PSYCHOTHERAPY

Anger. It’s one of our most basic, and often most destructive, human emotions. And in today’s world, it’s a constant, escalating force, from road rage to domestic abuse, from teen violence to acts of terrorism. More than ever we need effective ways to live with it, understand it—and learn to deal with it. This landmark book from world-renowned psychotherapist Dr. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), shows you how.

Presented in a simple step-by-step program that anyone can master, the proven, time-tested principles of REBT teach you to manage and even eliminate anger, without sacrificing necessary assertiveness. Here you’ll discover:

*What exactly is anger, and must you feel it?
*How you create your own anger*Methods of thinking, feeling, and acting your way out of anger
*Why holding on to anger is sometimes fun—and how to let it go
*How to use REBT to cope with tragic events that are far beyond our control

…and much more, including numerous real-world case studies, plus a comprehensive, critical analysis of the various approaches to this age-old problem. Whether at home or at work, in a personal or political context, this breakthrough approach will enable you to take control of the anger that can stand in the way of success and happiness.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Albert Ellis, Ph.D. founded Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), the pioneering form of the modern Cognitive Behavior therapies. In a 1982 professional survey, Dr. Ellis was ranked as the second most influential psychotherapist in history. His name is a staple among psychologists, students, and historians around the world. He published over seven hundred articles and more than sixty books on psychotherapy, marital and family therapy, and sex therapy. Until his death in 2007, Dr. Ellis served as President Emeritus of the Albert Ellis Institute in New York, which provides professional training programs and psychotherapy to individuals, families and groups. To learn more, visit www.albertellis.org.

Raymond A. DiGiuseppe, Ph.D. is Director of Professional Education and licensed Staff Psychologist at the Albert Ellis Institute (AEI). After earning a B.S. degree from Villanova University, Dr. DiGiuseppe received his Ph.D. from Hofstra University in 1975. He completed a postdoctoral fellowship at AEI in 1977. In 1980 he became the Institute’s Director of Professional Education, a position he has held since then. He has trained hundreds of therapists in Rational Emotive and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (RE&CBT) throughout the world. His present scholarship focuses on clinical aspects of anger and RE&CBT, on which he lectures widely.

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Anger

How to Live With and Without It

By Albert Ellis

KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP.

Copyright © 2003 Albert Ellis Institute
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-8065-3811-2

Contents

Also by Dr. Albert Ellis, 
Title Page, 
Copyright Page, 
Dedication, 
Foreword, 
Preface, 
Acknowledgments, 
Epigraph, 
1 - Must You Feel Angry?, 
2 - How You Create Your Own Anger: The ABCs of REBT, 
3 - The Insanity of Anger, 
4 - Looking for Self-Angering Philosophies, 
5 - Understanding Your Self-Angering Philosophies, 
6 - Disputing Your Self-Angering Philosophies, 
7 - Some Methods of Thinking Your Way out of Anger, 
8 - Some Methods of Feeling Your Way out of Anger, 
9 - Some Methods of Acting Your Way out of Anger, 
10 - More Rethinking About Your Anger, 
11 - Ripping Up Your Rationalizations for Remaining Angry, 
12 - More Ways of Overcoming Anger, 
13 - Accepting Yourself With Your Anger, 
14 - Postscript: How to Deal With International Terrorism, 
Appendix: Techniques for Disputing Irrational Beliefs (DIBS), 
References, 
About the Authors, 

CHAPTER 1

Must You Feel Angry?

You'd better face the hard reality that situations that frustrate or prevent you from attaining your goals and from enjoying what you want really do exist. But have you no choice but to feel angry at these everyday "horrors"?

Most mental health experts agree that you must feel anger. They see the newborn infant as expressing emotions comparable to anger and rage in the first hours of life. And throughout all ages of development humans confront almost daily their own feelings of anger and those of other people whom they encounter. Most authorities say you need your anger to protect yourself from the onslaughts of a hostile and aggressive world. If you do not always remain on your guard, you will stay vulnerable to others who will dominate and exploit you, jeopardize your freedom and property, and take advantage of your passivity by abusing you for their own personal gain with no regard to your welfare.

What, exactly, is anger? It is a special combination of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, when you are (or think you are) severely frustrated by unfortunate conditions and by people's "unfair" behavior. As Howard Kassinove and his collaborators point out and as Mark Terjesen and Raphael Rose agree, when you feel angry, you have a negative internal feeling state accompanied by thinking and perceptual distortions and deficiencies (especially misappraisals and attributions of other people's injustice). Your angry thoughts and feelings lead you to physiological arousal and tendencies to act against your "aggressors."

Many authorities on anger, including Raymond DiGiuseppe, believe that angry (and depressed) individuals "are unstable in the way they assign blame and have an unstable sense of self." Raymond Chip Tafrate and his research associates found that subjects high on trait anger were more prone to dysfunctional thinking and also experienced a greater number of physical sensations than people who were low on trait anger. Aron Siegman and Selena Snow discovered that the full-blown expression of anger is a form of emotional disturbance while the mere inner experience of anger is not.

At the same time, as I shall show throughout this book, anger is often self-protective, is a very normal human response, and has helped preserve the human race.

Your failing to fight for what you want leaves you the alternative of remaining passive when others take advantage of and prevent you from achieving your goals. Thus, most authorities today generally leave you with one of two alternatives for dealing with anger:

Feel the anger but sit on it, squelch it, deny and repress it.

Feel the anger and freely express it.

Squelching your anger doesn't get you much of anywhere, and unexpressed rage will do you more harm than candidly and freely expressed feelings. Sigmund Freud's hydraulic theory states that anger and other emotions have a tendency to increase in intensity — to expand under pressure like steam in a kettle — so that if you squelch your emotions, if you don't give free vent to them, you run the risk of doing some real harm to yourself. Physical harm such as stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, or other sometimes more severe psychosomatic reactions result. In addition, refraining from giving honest expression to your feelings — keeping these feelings pent up inside you — doesn't help you lose your anger. Quite the contrary. You will, in all probability, feel much worse. For your anger hasn't gone away, but stays right there in your "gut." And now you can easily turn overly critical of yourself for not standing up for your rights with those who have caused the injustice.

Conversely, if you let yourself feel authentically angry and let others know about your feelings, you may encounter problems of quite another nature. For people will receive your free expression of anger in most instances as an outwardly aggressive or hostile action, and will probably close themselves off from you and defensively respond to you with further hostility.

Some therapists in the field have attempted to solve the problem with still another alternative, what they call creative aggression (or constructive anger). This differs from the above free-expression method in that you express yourself more controllably and hope (often against hope!) that others will willingly listen to your point of view.

In the following example I will attempt to illustrate the dynamics of the other theories and then, using the same example throughout the book, will investigate the alternatives and solutions that Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy offers. I am confident that if you pay close attention to these principles, you will see that you can deal with problems relating to anger and other emotions effectively and efficiently by use of the REBT guidelines.

Let us say that I have promised to share an apartment with you as a roommate and to share the rent, provided you fix up and furnish the place. This seems agreeable to you. You go to a good deal of trouble and personal expense to keep your part of the bargain. At the last minute I inform you that I have made other plans and cannot, will not keep my part of the agreement. You feel extremely angry with me; not only have you gone to considerable expense to keep your agreement, but you are distinctly inconvenienced in that you must at the last minute look for another roommate.

You may at first keep your feelings of anger to yourself. But because you have those feelings, unexpressed, your underlying resentment greatly interferes with our friendship. So you see that nothing gets resolved, that your seething interferes with your other activities as well, and that this solution won't work.

You decide to confront me with your feelings, to express them. "Look here," you say, "I won't have you treating me like this! After all, you said you'd share the apartment with me after I had furnished it. I would never have fixed it up had you not agreed to share it with me in the first place. You've clearly done me in, and acted really rottenly. How could you have done a thing like that to a friend? I've never done anything so nasty to you, and I really don't see how you can expect anyone's friendship if you treat people so terribly."

Or instead, given the convenience of my having the capacity and willingness to play it with...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Kensington
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2017
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0806538112
• ISBN 13: 9780806538112
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 256
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: GPSR Kontakt; gpsr@libri.de; ; Europaallee 1; Bad Hersfeld; 36244; Deutschland