Conflict 101: A Manager's Guide to Resolving Problems So Everyone Can Get Back to Work - Softcover

Shearouse, Susan H.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0814417116 ISBN 13: 9780814417119

Verlag: Amacom, 2011

Inhaltsangabe

Learn how conflict is created, how to respond to it, and how to manage it more effectively so that your team can get back to doing what it does best: producing top results for your organization.

From mild disagreements to major personnel blowouts, conflict in the workplace is unavoidable. Conflict 101 employs research, humor, and relatable anecdotes to help readers more deeply understand: 

• what it takes to build trust,
• harness negative emotions,
• encourage apologies and forgiveness,
• use a solution-seeking approach,
• and say what needs to be said in the workplace to move past conflicts.

Whether it’s a fight over resources, a disagreement about how to get things done, or an argument stemming from perceived differences in identities or values, the manager’s role is to navigate relationships, build compromises, and encourage better collaboration.

In doing so, you’ll not only become a stronger manager--you’ll build a much stronger team.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

SUSAN H. SHEAROUSE has served as Executive Director of the National Conference on Peacemaking and Conflict Resolution and on the Advisory Board of the Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution at George Mason University. Her clients have included Lockheed Martin, Philip Morris, the IRS, the US Environmental Protection Agency, the US Army Corps of Engineers, and many others.

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Whenever human beings interact, it’s inevitable that conflict—when what one person wants, needs, or expects interferes with what others want, need, or expect—will bubble up to the surface…and no more so than at the office. Whatever the cause, it’s your job as a manager to ensure that these ripples of discord don’t lead to a lack of productivity, increased employee turnover and absenteeism, and other natural consequences of workplace friction.

Conflict 101 gives you the tools you need to navigate relationships, build compromises and collaborations, and not only get your people back on track, but channel the energy of disagreements into positive results. You’ll discover practical, immediately usable ways to:

• build trust among coworkers

• harness negative emotions

• encourage apologies and forgiveness, and

• use a solution-seeking approach to resolving employee differences

• say what needs to be said in any situation involving interpersonal tension.

Whether it’s a disagreement about processes, factionalism over where money and staff will come from, or the byproduct of complicated relationships or differences stemming from iden­ti­ties or values, it’s imperative that you stem the tide of conflict and keep your people focused.

Advance Praise for Conflict 101

“Susan Shearouse's magnificent Conflict 101 provides the essential tools for improving our working relationships. Her humor and wisdom make this book a powerful guide. A joy to read!”— Robert Maurer, Ph.D., Faculty, UCLA and University of Washington Schools of Medicine; author ofOne Small Step Can Change Your Life

“Workplace conflict is pervasive and effective skills to intervene are too often limited. This is an especially valuable resource for employees and supervisors facing the challenges of managing conflict. It is engagingly written, grounded with real experiences in the field.” — Sandra I. Cheldelin, Vernon M. and Minnie I. Lynch Professor, Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution, George Mason University

SUSAN H. SHEAROUSE has a Masters Degree in Conflict Resolution and served as Executive Director of the National Conference on Peacemaking and Conflict Resolution. Her clients have included Lockheed Martin, Philip Morris, the IRS, the US Environmental Protection Agency, the US Army Corps of Engineers, and many others.

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Conflict 101

A Manager's Guide to Resolving Problems So Everyone Can Get Back to WorkBy Susan H. Shearouse

AMACOM

Copyright © 2011 Susan H. Shearouse
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8144-1711-9

Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS......................................................................viiPART I INTRODUCTION..................................................................1CHAPTER 1 THE JOY OF CONFLICT........................................................3CHAPTER 2 WHAT GETS IN OUR WAY?......................................................20PART II UNDERSTANDING THE DYNAMICS OF CONFLICT.......................................37CHAPTER 3 WHAT WE NEED: THE SATISFACTION TRIANGLE....................................39CHAPTER 4 WHERE WE ARE: LEVELS OF CONFLICT...........................................48CHAPTER 5 HOW WE RESPOND: APPROACHES TO CONFLICT.....................................59CHAPTER 6 WHO WE ARE: CULTURAL CONSIDERATIONS........................................81CHAPTER 7 WHAT WE ARE ARGUING ABOUT MATTERS: SOURCES OF CONFLICT.....................99PART III KEYS TO RESOLVING CONFLICT..................................................121CHAPTER 8 BUILDING TRUST.............................................................123CHAPTER 9 APOLOGY AND FORGIVENESS....................................................137CHAPTER 10 RETHINKING ANGER..........................................................151CHAPTER 11 A SENSE OF HUMOR..........................................................172CHAPTER 12 TIME......................................................................181PART IV PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER......................................................193CHAPTER 13 REACHING AGREEMENT: A SOLUTION-SEEKING MODEL..............................195CHAPTER 14 LISTENING IS THE PLACE TO START...........................................215CHAPTER 15 SAYING WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID..............................................234CHAPTER 16 THE CHALLENGE OF ELECTRONIC TEXT COMMUNICATION............................249BIBLIOGRAPHY.........................................................................257INDEX................................................................................261

Chapter One

The Joy of Conflict

Driving along a four-lane road several years ago, I came up over a small hill. I knew this road well, had passed this way many times. This time, I noticed a major construction project under way at the gas station on the right-hand side. Workers were digging a hole right next to the road. This hole was huge. I was amazed at how deep it was. I was fascinated.

Have I mentioned the traffic light that was some fifty feet over that rise in the road? Unfortunately, I was much more interested in the size of the hole than I was in the road. Several cars were stopped at the red light just ahead. Cruising over the hill, I smacked into a car waiting there. I rammed into that car hard enough to get the attention of the car in front of the car that I had rear-ended. Pretty soon we were all milling around the cars, inspecting the damage.

In that moment, everybody noticed me. The people in the car I hit certainly noticed me. Those in the car in front of the car I hit noticed me. The cops came very quickly—they had also noticed. Later that day, my insurance company noticed.

Since then, I have gotten my car repaired and am back on the road. What I realized then was how many cars I do not hit, and that nobody noticed. No one has ever gotten out of a car to come around and thank me for bringing my car to a complete stop before making contact with the rear bumper in front of me.

And so it is with us all. Throughout most of our days we successfully navigate differences, find solutions, and accommodate others' needs, building compromises and collaborations along the way. When it comes to resolving all of these conflicts, nobody notices. Our skills are taken for granted.

What everyone notices instead are the collisions—those times when our needs and expectations clash with others' needs and expectations. Someone says something, and we are sparked to anger. Suddenly we're standing in the middle of the room, yelling at someone else. Or slamming the door and stomping out of the room. The label "conflict" is slapped on the event, and we walk away embarrassed and ashamed. "How could I have said that to her?" "Why didn't I just let that go?" We turn these moments over and over in our heads, feeling lousy about who we are and what we have done and because of how we reacted.

Conflict Defined

Managers deal with conflict all the time. As leader of a group, the manager's job is to understand the mission of the workgroup—how it supports the mission of the organization—to articulate that mission to staff and to others inside and outside the organization, and to support staff in accomplishing that mission. Providing that support frequently involves resolving differences and disagreements with staff. Often we don't label this "conflict resolution" because we listen, respond, and resolve differences in the workplace before those differences kick up enough emotional dust to be visible. What, then, do we mean by the word conflict? Most dictionaries define conflict as the competitive or opposing action of incompatibles. In other words, conflict is when what you want, need, or expect interferes with what I want, need, or expect. It may be a disagreement over data or processes (how things get done); or it may be over resources (where the money and staff will come from to do the job); or it may be about relationships or our identities or values.

With this definition, we can consider the various levels of conflict, from mild disagreements, to disputes that require much time and attention, to intractable conflicts where emotions run high and relationships are broken. Resolving conflicts may be done so quietly and effectively that the moment is not remembered as a conflict. You have probably experienced this on a daily basis. Say, someone comes into your office with a question, you talk it over, agree on an answer, and sketch out a way to proceed. This is the job of management: conflict raised, conflict solved. Other conflicts become much bigger, with tempers flaring and any resolution seeming impossible. What I do in this book is help you develop an understanding of the nature of conflict and its resolution so that more of the conflicts you encounter can be resolved at the lowest possible level—in essence, to manage better.

Most of us face challenges in dealing with conflicts in our professional and personal lives. As I often tell groups I work with, I earned a life degree in conflict, as many of us do—at work, in my community, and with my family. I knew there must be a better way. In 1985, I headed back to school to get a master's degree in conflict resolution. I wanted to work "between people." I wanted to help them develop skills to address their differences, and use my own skills when they needed assistance addressing those differences. My hope was that they could more frequently walk away from a disagreement feeling relieved—and maybe surprised: "That went better than I thought it would."

Since then, most of my work has been inside organizations. A large part of my time is employed mediating and facilitating within offices, between bosses and direct reports—helping each to hear the other, so that both can find a productive, mutually acceptable way to move forward. The rest of my time is...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Amacom
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2011
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 0814417116
• ISBN 13: 9780814417119
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 272
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: HarperCollins; https://harpercollins.co.uk; ; "The News Building 1 London Bridge Street,"; London; SE1 9GF; Vereinigtes Königreich
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar