How does a forty-three-year-old straight white man suddenly realize she has always been a gay woman?
This is the story of Dee McWatters, a father, husband, wine industry professional, volunteer firefighter, and hockey referee, who appeared to be living an ordinary life in small-town British Columbia. Beneath the surface, she carried decades of secrecy, shame, and confusion, never able to name the ache that followed her through childhood, relationships, and career.
With raw honesty and sharp humor, Sorry I Was Such a D!ck, When I Had One! traces Dee’s messy, liberating journey toward authenticity. From purging closets to coming out in hockey rinks, from the heartbreak of loss to the joy of finally being seen, Dee takes readers on a roller coaster of unmasking, unbecoming, and beginning again.
This isn’t just a transition story, it’s a memoir about claiming truth, finding gender joy, and refusing to live one more day as someone you’re not.
For anyone who has ever struggled with identity, belonging, or the courage to start over, Dee’s story is a reminder that it’s never too late to live authentically,... and joyfully.
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Dee McWatters is a transgender woman, inclusion consultant, public speaker, writer, and advocate for 2SLGBTQIA+ inclusion in sport and community life. Before coming out, she spent decades working as a wine industry professional and serving as a volunteer firefighter, while also building a reputation as a respected hockey referee and coach. She continues to play and officiate ice hockey.After embracing her true self in her forties, Dee became a visible voice for gender diversity and equity. She has served on the boards of Kelowna Pride Society, Advocacy Canada, and South Okanagan Similkameen Pride, where she continues to champion inclusion and belonging.She lives in the Okanagan Valley, BC, and when she is not writing or officiating hockey, she can often be found cycling the local trails, sharing laughter with her partner Rebecca, or simply enjoying the gift of living authentically.
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