Jim Rickey's monologues; some rag-time observations on persons and events, with a few flashes of foot-light fun - Softcover

Hagerty, Christian Dane

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1151396273 ISBN 13: 9781151396273

Verlag: RareBooksClub.com, 2012

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This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1903 edition. Excerpt: ... Christmas from the Standpoint of an Amateur Santa. There is one particular convenience about having Christmas at the shank of the year. New Year's is so close to it that you can swear off on wifey's bargain cigars before you are dead, and do it without exciting suspicion. If anybody in the audience would like to swear off right now I will cease speaking while the orchestra plays "When the Leaves Begin to Turn." I was going to turn over a new leaf myself, but when I looked in the bookcase I found that all our books were old. So I went over to Schnitzelmeister's bar and turned over my wages. Several years ago at our church nothing would do but that I should stuff myself full of pillows and put on cotton-batting whiskers and play Santa Claus for the kids. To make it more realistic they arranged for me to come down the chimney. The smoke inspector wanted to arrest me for stopping the smoke; he said if he allowed everybody to do what I was doing there wouldn't be anything for him to inspect. Well, they fixed me up with a big bag of future stomach-aches for the youngsters and about 9 o'clock I came sliding down the chimney. If cleanliness is next to godliness, that chimney never should have been so close to the pulpit, and that's a fact. When I got out on the rostrum before the crowd I was a sight. I was as black as the record of a pirate. When one kid saw my blackened whiskers I heard him say: "Gee, fellers, Santa Claus is usin' hair dye on his Elijah Seconds!" But, bless you, I didn't mind such cracks as that at all. After it was all over my wife says: "Jim, I never saw you look more contented than when you were distributing the candy and the presents from the Christmas tree. You know, I was afraid that getting all that smudge on you would put you...

Über diese Auflage

• Verlag: RareBooksClub.com
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2012
• ISBN 10: 1151396273
• ISBN 13: 9781151396273
• Einband: Tapa blanda
• Anzahl der Seiten: 18