High-Functioning Anxiety: A 5-Step Guide to Calming the Inner Panic and Thriving - Softcover

Suglani, Lalitaa, Dr.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1401976603 ISBN 13: 9781401976606

Verlag: Hay House UK Ltd, 2024

Inhaltsangabe

Do you always show up for everyone else, get praised for your strength, and look like you have it all together while secretly experiencing intense worry, self-doubt, or fear of failure? Do you work hard to please others while feeling disconnected from the ‘real you’?

People with high-functioning anxiety (HFA) often appear competent and accomplished on the outside, but internally, it’s a very different story. HFA is rooted in fear – the fear of others seeing the ‘real’ us – and can lead to a cycle of overworking, overthinking, and self-criticism.

Award-winning psychologist Dr Lalitaa is here to tell you that you don’t have to live like this anymore. Weaving together scientific research with practical exercises and case studies, Dr Lalitaa offers a five-step plan that will radically shift how you see yourself. You’ll discover:


· the main symptoms of high-functioning anxiety and how they emerge in daily behaviour
· the two sides of high-functioning anxiety: how you see yourself vs. how you present yourself to the world
· how to release old modes of thinking and habitual thought patterns and replace them with healthy attitudes
· practical methods for creating and sustaining long-term lifestyle changes, so that you can calm the inner panic, find balance, and thrive

This transformational book will show you how to break the toxic cycle of high-functioning anxiety – for good.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Dr. Lalitaa Suglani is an award-winning psychologist, holistic healer, and author. She is committed to helping people overcome their high-functioning anxiety so that they can live a life of success, abundance, authenticity, and inner peace. @dr.lalitaa

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Introduction

I still remember the moment I chose to finally face my shadows. Growing up as a second-generation British immigrant and ethnic minority, I’d found myself split between two cultures. This shaped my life experience and in an effort to cope, I developed high-functioning anxiety. By the time I reached adulthood, I was filled with shame, and the mental box I was trying to hide it in was running out of space.

I believed that there was something deeply wrong with me, and as my inner critic became louder, I struggled to even look at myself in the mirror. This was my approach to dealing with the way I felt, and only now can I see how unhealthy it was. At the time, I didn’t know what was happening to me: I just thought I was stupid and pathetic. I didn’t want anyone else to see that, though, so I did whatever I could to ensure this side of me remained hidden.

My ‘solution’ to my problems was to try and become ‘successful,’ but at the heart of them lay a lack of values and meaningful connections with others. And although I felt exhausted by it all, I believed there was nothing else I could do. I was scared to ask for help because I didn’t want to reveal how ‘messed up’ I thought I was. For years, I fought to avoid certain parts of myself, but no matter what I did, they always found a way to emerge. In the end, I had no choice but to force them out of the darkness and into the light. And what I discovered there changed my life.

What Is High-Functioning Anxiety (HFA)?

Before we begin, I want to be clear that high-functioning anxiety – or HFA, as I will refer to it in this book – is not the same as debilitating anxiety, which is generally defined as anxiety that’s severe enough to shut us down to the point where we’re no longer capable of working, looking after ourselves, or maintaining relationships. People with HFA, people like me, experience the symptoms of their anxiety internally, while still managing their external life effectively. We show the world what we think of as our ‘good’ side and keep our ‘real’ side – the anxious one that we don’t want others to see – hidden.

According to the USA’s National Health Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 31 percent of adults experience an anxiety disorder at some time in their lives, while in the UK, in 2022/23, an average of 37 percent of women and 30 percent of men reported high levels of anxiety.

Now, it’s likely that a sizeable proportion of these people with an anxiety disorder suffer with high-functioning anxiety, but despite this, HFA is not currently a recognized anxiety disorder. While it’s argued that this is because sufferers tend to function reasonably well in their daily lives, the effects of HFA can be extreme, affecting quality of life and causing intense feelings of loneliness and disconnection.

HFA is rooted in feelings of not being ‘good enough.’ People with HFA often appear competent and accomplished, but internally, they experience intense worry, self-doubt, and fear of failure. As a result, they often hold themselves to incredibly high standards and constantly strive for perfection in various aspects of their lives. We’re often the ones who show up to get things done and make sure everyone else is okay. We look as if we have it all together and are strong and organized, but on the inside it’s a different story –one that no one else gets to see.

This fear of not being good enough can drive those of us with HFA to overachieve and excel in a bid to prove our worth via external validation. We fear judgment, and resist saying no to others or letting them down; we may think this is the only way to be accepted and loved by others. However, despite our achievements, we may still feel inadequate and harbor an underlying sense that we don’t measure up. Or believe, deep down, that there’s something wrong with us. This fear of not being good enough can become a constant source of stress and anxiety and lead to a behavior pattern of overworking, overthinking, and self-criticism.

As a psychologist, one of the interesting, yet perplexing, things I’ve found is that, while many of the people I meet can relate to the concept of high-functioning anxiety, they don’t fully understand its underlying causes. In fact, they often insist that they do feel sufficiently worthy in their lives.

However, it’s crucial to understand that, while you may consider yourself to be a confident and contented adult, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your actions are free from fear-based motivations – you just might not be able to see it. Often, core issues remain hidden deep in our subconscious while we just scratch at the surface of our self-awareness. It’s my intention in this book to help you dig deeper, into your innermost roots, to discover and embrace your authentic self.

Right now, you might be thinking, Why explore all this if I’m happy the way I am? My answer: because HFA stops us from truly living life to the full. It limits us and makes us play safe, hiding parts of ourselves from the world. HFA is rooted in fear: the fear of other people seeing the ‘real’ us – yet our internal battle is with ourselves, not others.

Eventually, we reach a point where we become fed up with living in a constant state of hidden anxiety – I can tell you from my own experience that it’s a lonely and exhausting place to be. We realize that we have no option other than to look at the cause of our anxiety – and we find that the cause is the very thing we’ve been running away from.

Embracing Our Worthiness

Acknowledging that something’s wrong is often the hardest part. The only way to move forward is to be honest with yourself – not to run away or hide behind emotional shields. The process might seem daunting, but it’s better than the alternative of living with anxiety. It’s time to take personal responsibility and grow into your authentic self.

Just as rain cleanses the earth and gives rise to new growth, the challenges you face have the power to cleanse your spirit and illuminate your path. Within the darkness lies the opportunity for growth and transformation. The storms may shake you, but they’re also sculpting the person you’re meant to become. Trust in the process for, when the storms subside, you’ll stand stronger, wiser, and more aligned with your true self.

This isn’t easy, of course. You must do the ‘work,’ which involves being honest about yourself and your feelings. There’s no quick-fix solution; this is a lifestyle change. But trust me, it’s worth it. Just as the caterpillar waits in its cocoon, going through different stages of metamorphosis, so too will you spend time within yourself, going deep as you prepare for change. I want people to feel worthy enough, and to stop struggling with their thoughts. I’ve seen this process in action with the people I work with – marveling at how, once they truly understand their thoughts, everything can change. The journey of life isn’t one where we perform for others but one where we love ourselves with compassion and are able to simply ‘be.’

We often find ourselves caught in the trap of feeling inadequate or not measuring up to certain standards. However, the truth is that we are inherently good enough, just as we are. Our worthiness doesn’t depend on external achievements, validations, or comparisons to others. We possess unique qualities, strengths, and gifts that make us valuable and worthy of love and acceptance.

How This Book...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Hay House UK Ltd
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2024
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1401976603
• ISBN 13: 9781401976606
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 225
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar