What If Someone I Know Is Gay?: Answers to Questions About What It Means to Be Gay and Lesbian - Softcover

Marcus, Eric

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1416949704 ISBN 13: 9781416949701

Verlag: S&S Books for Young Readers, 2007

Inhaltsangabe

if you think your friend is a lesbian, can you ask her?

how do people become gay?

is it a sin? is it a choice?

No question goes unanswered in this important book about being gay. All the basics -- and not-so-basics -- are covered in more than one hundred questions asked by real teens just like you. So the answers contain all the info you want to know. And just in case you feel like sharing, there's a new "parents only" chapter to clue them in too.

Expert Eric Marcus has fully updated and revised this essential guide for today's readers. He candidly and clearly pushes aside the myths and misinformation about being gay and lesbian, answering all the questions that are on your mind.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Eric Marcus is the author of several books on gay issues, including Is It A Choice? and Making Gay History. He is also the author of Why Suicide? and coauthor of Breaking the Surface, the #1 New York Times bestselling autobiography of Olympic diving champion Greg Louganis. Visit him at EricMarcus.com.

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Introduction

What If Someone I Know Is Gay? is an introductory book about gay people. I've tried to do my best to answer a lot of the questions you might have, from "How do you become gay?" to "Can gay people get married?" Some of the questions are very obvious, some not so obvious, and you might even find a few that you think are stupid. But the way I see it, there's no such thing as a stupid question, except the one you don't ask.

Many of the questions you'll find in this book are questions I've been asked by friends, family, and colleagues. Other questions have been asked of me in my role as an author by people who have written to me or e-mailed me after reading one of my books. And several of the questions you'll find here have come in response to an e-mail request I sent asking people to contribute their questions.

Why did you write this book?

An editor at a publishing company read a book that I wrote for adults called Is It a Choice? Answers to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay & Lesbian People, and she thought it would be great if I could write a book specifically for young adults. And I was glad to do it, because when it comes to the subject of gay and lesbian people and gay issues, there are a lot of questions that never get asked and a lot of answers that never get offered.

I think we'd all be a lot better off if everyone could ask whatever questions they had and could count on getting honest answers in return. I remember being in kindergarten and asking my teacher why a sixth grader was sent to our class to stand in the corner for an hour one morning. I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question. My teacher, whose name I can't recall (I'm sure I'm blocking it), told me to mind my own business. I think it was this embarrassing and hurtful experience that helped fuel my curiosity about life and set me on the path of asking questions for a living.

Who is it for?

This book is for anyone who knows someone gay. That means it's for everyone, because everyone knows someone who is gay: a sister or brother, parent, teacher, neighbor, classmate, or friend. Or maybe you're gay yourself or think you might be.

Of course a lot of people don't realize they know someone who is gay or lesbian because many gay people hide the fact that they're gay. Why? That's a good question, and it's just one of the many that I answer in this book.

Who are you? And how did you get to be an expert?

Often when I get e-mails from readers they want to know who I am. I'm used to asking other people about their lives and keeping private about my own. But it's only fair if you're reading my book for you to know who is offering the answers, especially because a lot of the answers reflect my personal opinions. (I don't speak for any organizations, political parties, companies, or religious groups. I speak for myself and no one else.)

I grew up with my brother and sister in a small neighborhood in Queens, which is a part of New York City. I went to public schools and then to Vassar College, where I majored in urban studies. I have a master's degree in journalism from Columbia University and a second master's degree from Columbia's Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation.

I wrote my first book, a guide for male couples, when I was in my late twenties. And I can tell you that I was no expert on gay people at that time, but as I discovered when the book was first published, I had to have answers to the basic questions about gay issues that reporters asked me because in those days, people didn't know a lot about gay people (and the reporters were even more nervous asking the questions than I was answering them!).

So I became an expert through my work, but since I'm also gay, I've had a lot of incentive to learn about gay people and gay life so I could better understand myself -- especially since when I was growing up there was very little information available that could help a gay young person understand himself and the kind of life he could expect to lead.

Since 1988 I've written several books about gay men and women and gay relationships. I also coauthored a couple of autobiographies of gay athletes, including Greg Louganis, an Olympic diving champion. And I wrote an award-winning oral history of the gay civil rights movement called Making Gay History. (You can learn more about my books on my website, www.ericmarcus.com.)

My partner and I met in December 1993 and we had a commitment ceremony in June 1996. (A commitment ceremony is like a wedding, but we didn't use a rabbi or priest and we didn't get a marriage license because gay people couldn't get married anywhere in the United States in those days.) We had more than two hundred guests, and everyone in our families attended. We don't have children, but we have nieces and nephews we're close to and we've got great friends.

Did you write this book by yourself?

I had the help of a lot of people in writing this book, from both experts and regular people.

Who are the people you write about?

In the book you'll find stories about people from all over the country, mostly young people, both gay and straight. And there are comments from a few adults, mostly parents.

When it comes to the people I identify by name, all the adults who asked that I use their names are identified by their full names. For all the young people who spoke with me, I've used only first names and I've changed all of these names, as well as some identifying characteristics. Most of the young people I talked to wanted me to use their real first names or their full names, but I prefer that they remain anonymous. It's difficult to know what will happen once your name is in print, and given the still controversial nature of this subject, I think it's safer for the young people I write about to stay out of the public eye.

What if I can't find answers to my questions? Where can I get more information?

Since this is only an introductory book, you may not find the answers to all of your questions. So in the last chapter you'll find lots of resources, including books, organizations, and websites. If after checking out these resources you still can't get the information you need or there's a question that still needs answering, write to me and I'll do my best to help you.

How can I contact you?

You can write to me through my website, www.ericmarcus.com. Or e-mail me directly at eric@ericmarcus.com.

Copyright © 2000, 2007 by Eric Marcus

Chapter 1
The Basic Stuff

I like to think that the best place to start when you're new to any subject (and even if you're not entirely new) is at the beginning. Homosexuality is a complicated and all too often controversial subject that's difficult to discuss if you don't understand the basic concepts and issues. So I've devoted this first chapter, which is the longest in the book, to all the essential questions (and answers) you need to know before reading the chapters that follow. You may be tempted to skip right to the chapter about sex, but I urge you to start here.

Before you get to the first question, I have a quick warning about the Internet that you've no doubt heard before from your parents, but bears repeating because throughout this chapter and the ones that follow, I recommend various websites. So here's the warning: It is extremely important to be cautious when you use the Internet, especially if you decide to join a discussion group or use the Internet to meet other young people. Because it's so easy to create a false online profile, it can be hard to tell who is being truthful and who is not. So there's the possibility that someone may try to take advantage of you, may make...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: S&S Books for Young Readers
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2007
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1416949704
• ISBN 13: 9781416949701
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 194
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Simon and Schuster Netherlands BV; info@simonandschuster.nl; ; Herculesplein 96; Utrecht; 3584 AA; Niederlande