Closed, Yet In My Right Mind - Softcover

Stanley, Verdree B.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1438986149 ISBN 13: 9781438986142

Verlag: AuthorHouse, 2009

Inhaltsangabe

Verdree B. Stanley, in his book describes the behavior of society and how it relates to the individual. He attempts to define the word change, if change is to occur it must first begin from within the individual. One reason so many American families are dissolving or never forming, is that many of us have forgotten why we believe and why we should believe in the family. I believe that we desperately need to recover much of what has been lost. I explicitly say that certain trends are irreversible, and, at least in some cases, thankfully so, but there are things in the past that are worst leaving behind, including the unequal status of women. We all want progress. But progress means getting closer to the place where you want to be. If you have taken a wrong turn, then to go forward does not get you any closer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road, and in that case the person who turn back sooner is the most progressive. Change is a slow process. People in society can change but it is also a slow process, change can occur if the inner being is in agreement with the inner self.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Dr. Stanley is an ordained minister, he received his BS degree from the University of New Mexico, he received his Master degree from Virginia Union School of Theology, and he received his Doctor of Ministry degree from Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary, and received his PhD from The Graduate Theological Foundation in Indiana graduate. He is a professor in New Jersey where he teaches Psychology, Sociology, and Religion. He is also a member of the American Psychological Association. He has also written other books which include Spit Fire, God's Wrath and Robots: How Human Are We? His web site is www.drvbsministries.com.

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Closed, Yet In My Right Mind

By Verdree B. Stanley

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Verdree B. Stanley
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4389-8614-2

Contents

Chapter One - Standing On Your Own Two Feet...............................1Chapter Two - Who Says I'm Wrong? Who Says I'm Right?.....................11Chapter Three - Hail, Hell, The Gangs All Here............................21Chapter Four - How Do You Like Me Now?....................................30Chapter Five - Are You Out Of Your Mind?..................................38Chapter Six - Do You Want A Piece Of My Mind?.............................47Chapter Seven - Who Says I Won't?.........................................55Chapter Eight - Don't Throw Me Away.......................................62Conclusion................................................................71References And Suggested Readings.........................................75

Chapter One

Standing On Your Own Two Feet

A model for harmonious living won't be created by large corporations nor will the government legislate it. And we cannot rely solely on our religious leaders to initiate it. While love is the guiding principle in all the world's major theologies, a religious or spiritual philosophy has no meaning until we practice it and make it a part of our lives. The person who develops a healthy or constructive style of life has experienced a family life in which the parents treated him or her with respect and consideration. A person is likely to learn the importance of equality and cooperation between people and to develop goals in accord with social interest. A healthy person can change his or her fictional finalisms or guiding self-ideals if circumstances demanded it. Would such a person act dishonestly and steal a loaf of bread to feed a starving child? Yes, but only if the individual had exhausted every other avenue in trying to solve the problem. The healthy person lives by principles, but is realistic enough to modify them under exceptional circumstances. At some time in our lives we have all experienced the kind of anxiety that makes us feel as if our world is coming to an end. But in retrospect we can always see that things have a way of working out. Looking back on the crises that were the causes of our mental and emotional anguish, we see from the vantage of hindsight they were not so much an end as a turning point in our lives. The unhappiness we experience is not so much a result of the difficulties encountered along our journey as it is of our misperception of how life instructs us. Most of us grew up with the concept of a stern God who encouraged our supplication, our bowing down and offering up. We learn to utter rote prayers to a God who lived in the sanctuary or high above the clouds. The God of our traditions was to be feared and appeased. Like that of so many of us, this was my childhood indoctrination. Often it's our childhood indoctrination that is the most difficult to change. But anything that is learned can be unlearned over time. We must begin to unlearn the myth that we are separate from God. God isn't in the clouds, God is the clouds. God is the sun and the moon, the grass and the trees, the earth and the sky, and everything in between, God is, "God" all by himself. Continued healthy development depends on the mother/s efforts to support realistic change in the child's self and being; by setting limits on the expressions of his or her unrealistic limits and of his or her actual abilities and talents. Failure of the mother to empathize with her child and her inability to appropriately mirror the child because of her own pathology produces a lowering of his or her self-esteem; then, in a defensive attempt to ward off feelings of inadequacy, the child fixates on the self and, as a result, behaviors associated with an absent self are enhanced and displayed. Consider the case of a girl who does not receive appropriate mirroring from her mother. She may fantasize in a way that is precious. She may insist that her parents buy her the most fashionable clothes and jewelry, no matter what the financial income of the family. Instead of calmly pointing out to her that she cannot have her own way all the time and refusing her unreasonable demands, the mother may simply comply. Later, the girl may become almost totally self-absorbed and concerned with clothes and her physical appearance. As a result, she may be unable to maintain relationships with other females, because she sees herself as superior to them. Her male admirers nay also grow tired of worshipping at her feet and suffering her demands for continual praise. The nuclear self is based on interactions not only with the mother, but importantly with the father as well. When unavoidable shortcomings in parenting disturb the balanced state of primary narcissism, the child unconsciously attempts to restore equilibrium by identifying and associating with an admired, omnipotent, self-object; the idealized parental image. This idealization occurs because the child has an innate need to idealize. It is principally the father who is idealized by the male. For the female, it is usually the mother who is idealized. In early childhood, children often express unbridled admiration for a parent because they are cognitively immature and unable to make appropriate discriminations. They often imitate the parent's mannerisms, speech, and activities; because they have a massive narcissistic investment in the parent, they experience tremendous gratification through such imitative expressions. Many children today have fewer and fewer opportunities to participate emotionally in their parents lives given the high rates of divorce and separation and the need for both parents to work long hours at several jobs if the family is to survive economically. Although children may have an opportunity to participate with the parents in play and leisure activities, they do not usually have opportunities to get to know their parents more personally in their other life activities, particularly in regards to parental ambitions, ideals, and goals. Children should have an opportunity to learn not only about their parent's hopes and dreams, but also about their non-traumatic limitations, failures, and disappointments. Only through such revelations can children undergo the transmuting internalizations that are necessary for the establishment of independent nuclear selves. Most poor, unmarried mothers and fathers readily admit that bearing children while poor and unmarried is not the ideal way to do things. The best time to become a mother is when you are out of school and you have a job. When you're ready to have kids, you should have everything ready, have your house, have a job, so when that baby comes, the baby can have comfortable room in the house. Poor girls coming of age in the inner city value children highly, anticipate them eagerly, and believe strongly that they are up to the job of mothering, even in difficult circumstances. Unlike the women of their mothers' and grandmothers' generations, young women are not merely content to rely on a man's earnings. Instead, they insist on being economically "set" in their own right before taking marriage vows. This is partly because they want a partnership of equals, and they believe money buys "say-so" in a relationship. Looking at it from another perspective, the negative consequences are clear; Where jobs are scarce, many people eventually lose their feeling of connectedness and oftentimes it's hard to stand on your own two feet; many people no longer expect work to be a regular, and regulating, force in their lives. In the case...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: AuthorHouse
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2009
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1438986149
• ISBN 13: 9781438986142
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 96
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: gpsr@libri.de; gpsr@libri.de; ; Europaallee 1; Bad Hersfeld; 36244; Deutschland