Everythingand nothingis a date these days. Instead of going out on a classic dinner-and-a-movie date, you've been subtly exploring your connections with men via non-dates,which encompass allyour ambiguous interactions with men: from a positive brain-storming session with a co-worker to a drink with an old friend to a late-night Skype with an ex who's still around. Sometimes planned, sometimes spontaneous, there are six recognizable types of non-dates(Networking, Group, Electronic, Surprise, Friend, Play) and you've probably been on each one of them. Unbeknownst to you, your love life is likely filled with non-dates. And what about all these guys you're non-dating? Well, they're the guys in your "Gaggle."
Your Gaggle might include: The Ex-Boyfriend Who's Still Around, The Ego Booster, The Hot Sex Prospect, The Career Booster, The Unavailable Guy. What all these men have in common is their connection to you. Ten types of gaggle guys, ten different paths to romance and excitement and self-discovery. The first step is to stop stressing about "dates" and labels and expectations. The second step is to start embracing the ambiguity. How? By thinking of each man you meet as a potential guy in your gaggle. Do this, and you'll bring yourself closer to finding love in the post-dating world. And you'll have a lot more fun in the process.
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Jessica Massa graduated magna cum laude from Harvard with a degree in psychology. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Elle, Variety, CNN.com, The Times of London, and Glamour.com, among others. She lives in Brooklyn.
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