Balance the Mother Load: R.E.I.N.V.E.N.T. Your Life in Just 8 Weeks! - Softcover

Cooper, Carly

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1452544298 ISBN 13: 9781452544298

Verlag: BalboaPress, 2012

Inhaltsangabe

"Juggling two young kids and a full-time job derailed me. This book put me back on track and even had me laughing. Thank you, Carly" -Lisi Harrison, best-selling author of The Clique series, The Alphas series, and Monster High series. www.lisiharrison.com You need this book if you consider yourself lucky when you have time to shave both legs your kids think it's odd when you spend more than a few hours with them you think running out the door counts as exercise you're having a more intimate relationship with your smart phone than your spouse you think putting on clean clothes is dressing up you look forward to your annual pap just to have some "me" time So many moms neglect themselves and their well-being because they think it's the only way to take care of their family. After all, isn't that what a "good mom" does? Carly Cooper, a certified life coach for moms, shares her unique R.E.I.N.V.E.N.T. System that she created to help busy, stressed-out moms shift this backward perception and get back in touch with who they really are. Using practical advice, tips, strategies, and hands-on exercises, you are shown exactly how to become the best woman and mom you can be by learning to have more freedom, more sanity, and more time to enjoy it all.

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Balance the Mother Load

R.E.I.N.V.E.N.T. Your Life in Just 8 Weeks!By Carly Cooper

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2012 Carly Cooper
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-4429-8

Contents

Dedication................................................vAcknowledgments...........................................viiIntroduction..............................................xiWeek One Redefine Motherhood.............................1Week Two Envision Your Ideal Life.......................13Week Three Improve your relationships.....................37Week Four Nurture Yourself...............................53Week Five Vanquish Mommy Guilt...........................65Week Six Expectation Overhaul...........................77Week Seven Nix Negativity Now.............................87Week Eight Time Management Tune Up........................109Recommended Reading.......................................129Bibliography..............................................131About the Author..........................................133

Chapter One

Week One

Redefine Motherhood

"Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons. Liberation was meant to expand women's opportunities, not to limit them. The self-esteem that has been found in new pursuits can also be found in mothering." Elaine Heffner

R.E.I.N.V.E.N.T.

What's a "good mom" anyway?

How would you define a "good mom"? Don't feel bad or ashamed if you haven't the foggiest idea. It's not your fault. Through the media we're inundated with images of smiling, cheerful, always-clean children with gorgeous, thin and calm mothers happily playing next to them. There's not a frown line or strand of out-of-place hair in sight. Just pure joy! As mothers, we are besieged with messages from society, our friends and our relatives and as a result, we unknowingly adopt someone else's set of values, morals and rules, which don't always jive with our personality. Still, we follow these rules as if they're "right" and the "only way." It's these kinds of warped messages that send many moms into a downward spiral of insecurity, forcing them to adopt the "it's 5 o'clock somewhere" philosophy-if you know what I mean.

If you're like most "real life" moms, your clothes are dirty, you smell like sweaty feet dipped in curdled milk, you put way too much pressure on yourself, you assume your parenting style will likely cause your child to need years of therapy, you compare yourself to other moms, and you feel like you're spinning out of control. And, all of this usually happens before 10 a.m.

So what happened to that high achieving, driven, independent, ambitious woman you once were before you became a mother? She's likely been buried under a week's worth of laundry and drowned out by the shrill voice of Dora the Explorer. But she's still in there. Somewhere. You're just too tired and drained to find her. And, you probably don't even know where to start looking. (If you just called out "Map!" we really need to set up an intervention!)

As evolved as women have become, it's a lot easier to talk about having it all, than actually doing what it takes to get it. In modern motherhood, we're expected to maintain successful careers, cook healthy meals, raise well-behaved kids, keep a clean house, go to the gym at least three times a week, drink eight glasses of water a day, be a loving wife and feel totally balanced in the process. With the amount of weight we carry around on our backs, it's surprising that we don't all have enormous calf muscles!

For many women, the transition into motherhood is really hard—though there seems to be a lot of shame in admitting that. Perhaps this is because making and carrying a baby, scientifically speaking, is a completely natural process. Our bodies are made to do it. So we assume that raising a child should feel as natural. That's why, when we experience any kind of struggle or challenge, we feel inadequate, like there's something wrong with us. Have you ever felt that way?

Are you living your "core values"?

It's frustrating and often surprising to us when we struggle with motherhood. We're smart and capable women. (I'm told that some of us can actually fold a fitted bed sheet although I still believe that's an urban myth). So why can't we figure out how to have kids and be happy at the same time? Why do we feel as if we're failing at motherhood more often than we're succeeding? We so desperately want to excel at everything we take on. We want to be good moms, wives, sisters, daughters, friends and co-workers. We worry about getting everything right and perfect and beat ourselves up when we can't possibly do so. We look outside of ourselves for answers and many of us follow the herd when it comes to making family decisions. With all the choices we're presented with, it's hard to know what we do out of love and what we do out of obligation. Are you making decisions based on what you want to do or what you think you should do?

Here's a way to check in. If you're feeling stressed out, overwhelmed or full of dread, chances are you're not living by your core values. Values represent who you are and what is important to you. They are not universal nor are they right or wrong. When you fully honour your values then your actions are sincere, authentic and in alignment with who you truly are. These are the moments when you shine and are at your best. We are all unique. What works for me may be out of the question for you. That's why it's crucial for you to establish what values are essential to you and then live your life honouring them.

One of my clients found herself feeling claustrophobic as a stay-at-home mother. She had chosen to be home with her child instead of going back to work and thought she had made the right decision. After a few months in her new role, she was climbing the walls out of boredom and frustration. She told me she felt really guilty for feeling this way because "shouldn't I love spending all my time with my precious baby?" I asked her what she enjoyed doing and what her life was like before she became a mom. Immediately, the tone of her voice changed. She sounded more energized when she told about how she loved working, singing, connecting with others and making her own money. She really valued her independence and spontaneity. When she spoke her truth out loud, the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Staying home all day alone with her baby felt isolating and lonely. She wasn't honouring her core value of connection. Sticking to the same routine day after day was anything but spontaneous and being financially dependent on her husband went against her value of independence.

Once she became aware of her feelings, finding a reasonable solution was much easier. We talked about the different ways she could honour her core values. She enrolled her child in daycare a few days a week to ensure she had time to herself. She made play dates with other moms to fulfill her need for connection. And, she began exploring career options to feed her desire for financial independence. It was hard on her at first. She did feel guilty for dropping her daughter off at daycare so that she could have lunch with a friend. But, she also realized the value in doing so. Not only did her daughter thrive at daycare, she also benefitted by having a more relaxed and happy mother at the end of the day. Win-win!

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Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: BalboaPress
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2012
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1452544298
• ISBN 13: 9781452544298
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 156
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: gpsr@libri.de; gpsr@libri.de; ; Europaallee 1; Bad Hersfeld; 36244; Deutschland