How Learning to Say Goodbye Taught Me How to Live: (A Spiritual Memoir) - Softcover

McClung, Joffre

Softcover

ISBN 10: 150433907X ISBN 13: 9781504339070

Verlag: BalboaPress, 2015

Inhaltsangabe

Loss can either break you open or break you down-your choice. If you choose to allow it to break you open, you can discover who you truly were meant to be before time and the world made you forget.

How Learning to Say Good-bye Taught Me How to Live is a narrative journal of the many spiritual lessons and gifts I received during a period of tremendous loss in my life and how they were put to the test during my best friend's battle with cancer. It chronicles the close friendship we shared during this traumatic time and how we worked to stay conscious and move forward with our inner growth despite our pain. When we are asked to say good-bye to what was, we are offered an opportunity to experience what can be-if we do the work.

Each chapter highlights the various inner battles as well as the gifts that are revealed during difficult times. The lessons include issues of control, judgment, needing to be right, forgiveness, self-love, receiving, and the power of our beliefs. The gifts include partnership with your Higher Self, true intimacy, the power of play and laughter, faith and patience, angel whispers, co-creating, and much more. At the end of each chapter is a list of questions and thoughts that aided me to go deeper with the work.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Joffre is a Spiritual/Personal Growth Author, Motivational Speaker, and Common Sense Advocate who was compelled to write her first book, HOW LEARNING TO SAY GOODBYE TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE/2015, on spiritual growth because of the profound experiences of seeing her best friend battle breast cancer. Her second book, THE HEART OF THE MATTER, 2017 was born out of the work she did to find self-love is now being redone to include more of her personal story. www.joffremcclung.com

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How Learning to Say Goodbye Taught Me How to Live

(A Spiritual Memoir)

By Joffre McClung

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2015 Joffre McClung
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-3907-0

CHAPTER 1

When I heard the news, I broke out into sobs. My God, I had just been through this with my mother for a long two years before she had crossed. It had taken me two more years to pull myself out of grief and depression enough to do something as simple as going to the gym, and now I had to traverse the same cancer terrain again with my best friend, Rob, my soul sister. God, are you crazy? I thought to myself. I can't take it. The first half of my fifties had been focused on cancer and death, and now, damn it, I was going to have to go through all of this again. Was I being punished? Is this what my life would be about from now on — sickness and loss? I had barely enough energy of my own to keep moving somewhat forward, and now I was going to be needed again. I didn't think I could do it. But what choice did I have? Rob, my "sister," needed me, and I was going to be there for her. "Universe," I shouted, "I will help her, but I cannot — will not — lose myself again in grief." With that proclamation shouted out into the ethers, I took a breath and sobbed again. I was devastated. I was frightened. I was mad.

I have never been someone who saw the glass as half-empty. I've had my share of disappointments and have come through two "dark nights of the soul." The first one was in my early thirties; it served to break down my false beliefs about reality and about how the world and the universe actually work. (You create your reality.) The second one was during my grieving process. It served to break down my false beliefs about myself and enabled me to reclaim my power by forcing me to face my fears and see them for what they truly were — lies.

It had been hard, grueling work, but I thought that I was finally done with the forging of my soul and that happiness, even though I still couldn't feel it, was just around the corner. Damn it, I earned it, I thought to myself. But then I got the call. She had breast cancer again, and this time it was stage four. It had moved into the bone. There was no hope. Again I shouted at the universe and my guides, "Are you frigging crazy?" Not only was it impossible to see anything but a half-empty glass, I also only saw a glass containing dirty, shitty water. I was mad.

Oh, but the universe wasn't quite done yet. Two weeks after that call, I got a letter in the mail from my boss back in New York City. He was going to have to let me go since I had no plans to come back to the city. He had been patient for nearly four years while I was down in Texas taking care of my mother and then grieving, but time had run out. He kindly gave me six months to get my finances and whatnot in order, but by the end of the end of the year, I would be unemployed. Again I shouted at the universe, "Are you frigging kidding me?" I had promised to help my friend out financially, since she had no insurance and would have to go on disability. I had already sent her $1,500 a week before to cover some of her bills. How the hell was I going to be able to keep helping her, not to mention survive myself, if I was not making any money? Again I was mad. Raging mad.

* * *

Feel your emotions — all of your emotions! Especially those emotions you don't want to identify with or own. It is those unwanted or unacceptable emotions that will leak into your reality and keep you prisoner or worse.

* * *

I have met many people who will do anything not to feel those bad or dark feelings, and it is not just the people who you can see numb themselves from their feelings. It is so called enlightened people as well. They honor the light but run from the dark. The problem with that is that we are beings who have both light and dark aspects. To deny the dark aspects of ourselves is to cut ourselves off from our wholeness. In truth, just because you deny or ignore something does not make it go away. That suppressed emotion or feeling will struggle to be recognized, and the more it struggles to come to the surface, the more energy you have to use to shove it back down. Then you will find you have focused almost all of your emotional energy on keeping the dark away, leaving yourself emotionally unavailable for joy. You may think you are avoiding pain, but you are also avoiding joy. If you want to feel the joy and happiness of being alive, you must also risk feeling the agony and pain of life.

There are some people who have spent so much of their time shoving down their emotions that they truly no longer know what they are feeling. Except for the occasional uncontrollable outburst, they have gone numb to their emotional bodies. If you are someone who has trouble connecting with your emotions, there are tools that can help. Deep breathing can aid you in moving into your emotional body, or you can try taking a hot bath with some music. The music should match the emotion you are working to bring forth. If you have denied your inner sadness, put on the saddest music you know. There is a reason it has been said that music sets the mood: it does!

Our emotions are meant to act as a sophisticated guidance system, allowing us to know when something is off or out of balance. If someone or something triggers you, rather than wasting your time being angry over the trigger, see it as an alert that something within needs attention. It may be that you need healing on some core issues and wounds or that you have beliefs that need to change. Or it could be an indication that what is happening is not in your best interest and that action is required. Remember, you would not have an emotional reaction if some inner part of you were not activated. Your job is to be the detective and to follow those emotions to their core where the real transformational work is accomplished. Don't run from your emotions but rather honor their importance as a very integral tool for navigating your way through life.

Luckily both Rob and I had had disciplined spiritual practices for the past thirty years, and we had learned how to access our emotions and feelings. So after we hung up from that initial call, Rob went in to begin to drain the shock that was flooding her mind and body, and I went into meditation and began to defuse the anger I felt concerning the situation. I let my scared and angry parts rant and rave, and as the feelings began to dissipate, I pushed deeper to drain my anger of all of its power. When those small, scared inner voices could rage no more, I took a deep cleansing breath and fell into my Higher Self's arms, which surrounded me in loving golden light. As I began to feel my body relaxing more and more, I heard a very gentle but firm voice say, "You are not alone. You can do this."

I stayed on top of my anger and fear. I knew one meditation was not going to be enough. I cleared my emotions daily — sometimes anger, sometimes fear, sometimes pity, and sometimes plain old sadness. I did not judge the feelings or the parts that were screaming in pain but allowed myself to move through them, listening compassionately. Eventually those "pain voices" would quiet down, and without fail, I would begin to hear my Higher Self's voice offering me some new insight concerning my growth and process or simply a dose of nurturing and comfort. The next day would start the cycle all again. I knew I needed to be careful not to collect any negative emotion in my body or mind or else I would be of no use to my dear friend. She needed me to be...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: BalboaPress
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2015
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 150433907X
• ISBN 13: 9781504339070
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 166
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: gpsr@libri.de; gpsr@libri.de; ; Friedensallee 273; Hamburg; 22763; Deutschland