A Sensitive Dog's Guide to Love, Life and Counter Cruising - Softcover

Baker, .

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1504915127 ISBN 13: 9781504915120

Verlag: AuthorHouse, 2015

Inhaltsangabe

High Paws for A Dog's Guide to Life, Love and Counter Cruising: "I had no idea what I was missing. Baker's book brought my game to a whole new level and I can't thank him enough. It all started with a 'paws-on' demonstration on Thanksgiving 2009. I never looked back." -Gus Tobias, Newfoundland (RIP) "There are those of us who beg for treats and those of us who appropriate treats. Through Baker's book, I've learned not to concern myself with what I'm doing but how I'm doing it. It's made a huge difference!" -Jake Franklin, Collie "I've been a counter-cruiser from way back. This guidebook has refined some of my clumsier techniques and also boosted my confidence in some of my 'tried and true' capers. This is a great read!" -Poppy Williams, Greyhound "Never have I felt so good about doing something so bad!" -Kirby Leighton, Brittany Spaniel "Easy as 1-2-3, simple as A-B-C and rockin' like Do-Re-Me! This is the ultimate guide to snacking nirvana!" -Cupcake Harper, English Bulldog "Baker explains it all, step by step, paw by paw. Cruising has never been so productive!" -Sioban Wells, Irish Wolfhound "Two paws Up!" -Banjo Tabor, Skippit (see chapter on designer dogs)

Über diesen Titel

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

A Sensitive Dog's Guide to Love, Life and Counter Cruising

By Baker Burke-Simpkins, Debra Burke-Simpkins

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2015 Baker and Debra Burke-Simpkins
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-5049-1512-0

Contents

Chapter 1: Why I Wrote This Book, 1, 
Chapter 2: Good Dog/Bad Dog, 4, 
Chapter 3: Finding, Developing, and Refining Your Inner Cruiser, 7, 
Chapter 4: The Food We Cruise, 10, 
Chapter 5: Inappropriate Targets, 18, 
Chapter 6: Dress for Success, 34, 
Chapter 7: Know your cruising spots (or Location! Location! Location!), 37, 
Chapter 8: Covert Ops, 46, 
Chapter 9: Cruising Time: Peak and Off-Peak Hours, 49, 
Chapter 10: Realistic Goal Setting, 54, 
Chapter 11: Challenges and Obstacles, 56, 
Chapter 12: Draft Notice — Enlisting Accomplices, 58, 
Chapter 13: Dexterity Without Opposable Thumbs, 61, 
Chapter 14: Attitude is Everything!, 64, 
Chapter 15: Diet and Exercise, 67, 
Chapter 16: Dealing with Failure, 69, 
Chapter 17: Guest Cruising, 72, 
Chapter 18: Holiday and Vacation Cruising, 76, 
Chapter 19: Human Behavior, 94, 
Chapter 20: A Bit About Berners, 104, 
Chapter 21: Personal Experiences, 109, 
Chapter 22: Designer Dogs, 124, 
Chapter 23: Tales of Tails, 128, 
Chapter 24: My Mom, 148, 
Chapter 25: And Finally, 152, 
Glossary, 155, 
Epilogue, 161, 
Letter to my Successor, 165, 
I Hope You Won't Forget Me, 167, 
About Baker (by Debra), 169, 
About the Authors, 171, 

CHAPTER 1

Why I Wrote This Book

My original idea was to create a 'how-to' guide to counter cruising. However, along the way, I developed a sense of writing and a storytelling style that was pawsitively genius! Who knew! My naturally witty repawtee blossomed and my snout quivered in slack-jawed amazement. The anecdotal woofs spewed forth like slobber from a Mastiff's jowls. Therefore, the "how to" of counter cruising evolved to include my intimate views on love and life as well, 'cause I'm a 'lovin' life' kinda guy! And to know me is to love me. All one hundred and five gloriously fluffy pounds of me! And so, fellow fur-bearers, while reading this book will no doubt bring new meaning to your own life and renew your commitment to love, please keep in mind that it is first and foremost an instruction manual on counter cruising. I feel strongly that counter cruising should come as naturally as chasing the cat. We're all born with this talent. My hope is that with a little guidance from me, you'll be the star of the bar, so to woof ... er ... speak.

When I first started thinking about how good I am at counter cruising, I realized I needed to share my talents with all dogs. There are so many unfortunate guys and gals out there who haven't realized their natural cruising skills or developed effective techniques. I knew in my beautiful Bernese heart that I needed to enlighten and encourage each and every one of you. It behooved this Bernese Mountain maestro to conduct the symphony of snarf.

Thanksgiving 2009 totally solidified the idea of sharing my knowledge. My family and I were hosting Thanksgiving dinner for some wonderful friends. My good buddy, Gus, a handsome Landseer Newfoundland — may he rest in peace — came along with my Auntie Linda as well. We had a great time romping around, sniffing the turkey-scented air and enjoying the beauty of being dogs. So it comes time for dinner to be served and get this — Gus and I were relegated to the laundry room! I know, right? And boy, were our tails torqued! So Gus and I had to make the best of a bad situation. We lay down in the laundry room and started woofing about humans and food and cats and stuff and I said, "HEY! I know something we can woof about!" And so began my first impromptu counter cruising class.

We only had about an hour so I went through a fairly accelerated course. Prior to that very day, Gus had never been a counter cruiser, but he was eager to learn. After coffee and dessert were served, we were finally paroled from the laundry room and Gus put his new talents to the test, marching right over to a dish of cat food. You should have heard the hoots and hollers from his mom. As I calmly observed the entire ruckus from my spot outside the kitchen, I watched as Gus flanked left while his mom zigged right. Homedawg made me proud! Gus got most of the cat food snarfed before his eventual capture. And he remembered what I taught him about attitude. He sashayed away with his head held high.

As he was about to pass me, I couldn't help myself. I high-fived him. We didn't actually touch paws, I just raised my paw to him as a gesture of victory. The humans all thought that was one of the cutest things they'd ever seen. But it was serious business for me, though. The boy did me proud that day. It still brings a tear to my eye thinking about that very special Thanksgiving. I'm tellin' ya, a counter cruiser was born that day! When he left us for that big dog park in the sky, he went secure in the knowledge that he brought honor to all dogkind by becoming the best counter cruiser he could be.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how I came to write this book. It has truly been a labor of love for me to become a mentor to all dogs, big and small, in the ritual of the cruise! It is an honor for me to become your teacher and I will be deeply humbled by your success. I hope you find it informative and helpful. This manual will be dog-eared, if you'll excuse the pun, for years to come. That is, if you don't grab it and shake it and rip it and chew a few pages!

I dare hope, gentle readers, that your human may also gain new insight into our intricate canine psyche. It would please me tremendously if they learn a lesson or two that would enhance their lives as well.

Your success is my success. I'm taking great pride in this book and I intend to take my role as mentor/professor as serious as a Rottweiler on guard duty! I'm just a dog with a dream!

CHAPTER 2

Good Dog/Bad Dog

My friends, we all come into this world as a good dog. You were brought into your family because you were wanted. You stay within your family because you are loved. You get chin scratches, belly rubs, smooches and snuggles because you're so stinkin' cute. You are a "good dog." Face it; you are a total package of joy wrapped in fur. It's up to you to remain that total package to your human while still pursuing your own interests. You, boys and girls, have the power to keep that look of love burning in your family's eyes. Really, it's not that hard to make them happy and keep them like putty in your paws. Be the best good dog you can be and when your inner "bad dog" assumes control of your fur, you've got yourself some warm fuzzies in your love account to take the edge off any human's anger and disappointment.

When you hear your human say "good boy" or "good girl," doesn't it make your butt wiggle? You are man's best friend, a woman's trusted confidant, and a child's most adored stuffed animal ... and don't you forget it!

We are such wonderful creatures. Even God can tell you that. Did you know that there's not one mention of a cat in the Bible? It's true! So we're already ahead of the game with God on our side. And did all y'all ever notice what God spelled backwards is? Alright, for you Airedales, it's DOG. And again, who do they say is man's best friend? That's right ... a DOG! You've all heard that saying, "Dogs come when they're called; cats say take a message," and it's true, my friends. We are the ultimate 'people...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: AuthorHouse
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2015
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1504915127
• ISBN 13: 9781504915120
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 186
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: gpsr@libri.de; gpsr@libri.de; ; Friedensallee 273; Hamburg; 22763; Deutschland