Not So Politically Correct: A Collection of Laughs, Inspirations, Favorite E-mails, and Great Stories - Softcover

Howald, Martha

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1532030274 ISBN 13: 9781532030277

Verlag: iUniverse, 2017

Inhaltsangabe

Martha Howald grew up on a farm, and she loved spending time with her dad.

Even when he was loading manure onto a spreader, there she’d be with a little pitchfork, doing her part to clean up the mess from the cows and hogs.

During summers, the family would often go to Lake Erie, where they’d fish and spend time on the beach.

In fourth grade, she was thrilled when her older brother returned home from the army and started dating her favorite teacher—Miss Hill. The two would end up getting married, and Martha couldn’t have been happier.

Seeing her grandparents was always a treat: Her grandma would make delicious, thick maple syrup to put on biscuits, and her grandfather always kept candy in a little dish. These small things meant a lot.

During her senior year of high school, she began dating a boy named Frank, who would become her husband of sixty-four years. One day at baseball practice, she walked by, and he took his eye off the ball, losing a tooth as a result.

Join Martha as she recalls funny moments, challenges conquered, and lessons learned over a life that’s been not-so-politically Correct.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Martha Howald was born in 1934 in Radnor, Ohio. A farmer's daughter and a farmer's wife, she worked as a legal secretary. She lived in Cocoa and Merritt Island before moving to Jacksonville, Florida. Her proudest accomplishments are her marriage of sixty-one years to her husband, Frank, her three children, eleven grandchildren, and five great-grandchildren. She is Christian and loves the Lord and His people.

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

Not So Politically Correct

A Collection of Laughs, Inspirations, Favorite Emails, and Great Stories

By Martha Howald

iUniverse

Copyright © 2017 Martha Howald
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-5320-3027-7

Contents

My Little Red Boots, 1, 
Lake Erie Vacations, 3, 
Brother in the Service, 5, 
Favorite Fourth Grade Teacher, 7, 
Odd Development, 9, 
Memories of Grandparents, 11, 
Easter Sunrise Morning, 13, 
Best to Obey Parents, 15, 
Bragging Can Backfire, 17, 
Prize Cake, 19, 
Miracles Do Happen, 21, 
My Predicament!, 23, 
Missing Tooth, 27, 
Could You Have Met This Challenge?, 29, 
Farming Can Be Dangerous, 33, 
My First Flight Overseas, 35, 
Living in Europe, 41, 
Wow!, 43, 
The Joy of Leading the Choir, 45, 
Coming through the Rye, 47, 
Redneck Letter, 49, 
Waking Up to a Strange Night, 51, 
A Trick Pulled on My Sister, 53, 
What a Miracle at Christmas, 55, 
Takes Two to Sew, 59, 
A Practical Joke Pulled on Me, 61, 
The Cake Lie, 63, 
Our Special Surprise, 65, 
Tornadoes or Hurricanes?, 67, 
What a Hassle, 69, 
Fishing with Daddy, 73, 
Hitchhikers Welcome, 75, 
Dinner and a Scarf, 77, 
A Close Call for My Husband, 79, 
A Lost Boat Motor, 81, 
Hitchhikers' Story, 83, 
Tragedy at the Rodeo, 85, 
Can You Top This One?, 87, 
What You Don't Know Doesn't Hurt You, 89, 
Letting Go of Our Son, 91, 
No Identification, 93, 
The Bizarre Christmas Bazaar, 95, 
College Antics, 97, 
A Great Comeback, 99, 
Scottsdale, Arizona, 101, 
Living Close to the Space Center, 103, 
Not Grandma and Grandpa-Grammy and Grampy, 105, 
Miracle Rest Area, 107, 
Saving Our Granddaughter, 109, 
A Water Park in Orlando, 111, 
A Tragic Accident, 113, 
Retirement Is Not All It Is Cracked up to Be, 115, 
The Good and the Bad of the Move, 117, 
Another Blessing, 119, 
God Cares for the Little Things, 121, 
Fiftieth-Anniversary Cruise, 123, 
Big Bird, 127, 
Inaugural Ball, 129, 
What a Smart Mom, 133, 
The Osprey Nest, 137, 
Possum and Family Come to Visit, 139, 
Memories of the Big House, 141, 
Burning Tablecloth, 145, 
Moving to Jacksonville, 147, 
Smart Dad, 151, 
Flooded with Water, 153, 
A Granddaughter, 155, 
Eleven Leadership Traits, 157, 
Our Grandson's Senior Moment, 159, 
Lake House Incident, 161, 
Feeling Guilty, 165, 
Highway 23 All the Way to Ohio, 167, 
Woman Has the Last Word, 173, 
My Embarrassing Mistake, 175, 
Always Winners, 177, 
Make Up Your Mind, 179, 
Two Things Wrong, 181, 
Which Is It?, 183, 
Who's First?, 185, 
Repeat Act, 187, 
Worth the Cost, 189, 
Who Was She?, 191, 
Our Precious Chloe, 193, 
Diamond the Dog, 197, 
Needed by My Sister, 199, 
My Woodworker, 201, 
Retirement Is Not Healthy for Some Men, 203, 
What Would You Do?, 205, 
More Laughs, 207, 
Geography, 209, 
Disneyland, 211, 
Crap, 213, 
Directions, 215, 
Picture Lesson, 217, 
Who Won?, 219, 
Words, 221, 
Kids Are Quick, 223, 
Children Don't Miss Anything, 225, 
My Husband's Trip to the Store, 227, 
The Crash, 229, 
Quick Thinking, 233, 
More than Milk, 235, 
We Need Fixed, 237, 

CHAPTER 1

My Little Red Boots

When I was about seven years old, I loved doing things with my daddy on the farm. I was what you would call a tomboy. Whenever I was with my dad, I would have to wear my little red boots.

Believe it or not, I always enjoyed helping my dad load manure onto the manure spreader. I had a little pitchfork just like my dad's big pitchfork. I would do my part in scooping up the manure from where the cows, hogs, cattle, or whatever had made the mess and toss it in the manure spreader.

Yes, I did get some up and over into the spreader now and then. It was a little difficult for a seven-year-old little girl to do, but I had fun. I thought I was big stuff and really helping my father. I found out in later years that my dad got quite a kick out of me wanting to be with him and having my help. Ha!

The fun part was riding on the spreader and spreading all that manure over the fields. I'm sure some of it landed on me at times, but it didn't seem to bother me at that age. Now I can't imagine enjoying being around that sort of thing, but times do change with age.

I have great memories of spending that quality time with my daddy.

Lake Erie Vacations

My father loved to fish, and we would go to Lake Erie on vacations sometimes. He would fish, and the family could spend time on the beach.

We would rent a cabin right on the beach where we could swim and enjoy the water. We would take a huge tractor tire tube that we could blow up, and the whole family would enjoy playing on it together.

At that time, I was very young, maybe eight years old. I remember playing on it with the family. We were laughing and jumping the waves, and all of a sudden, I lost hold and fell away from the tube. Not knowing how to swim and not being able to touch the bottom, I went under. It seemed like an eternity before they finally missed me on the tube. My older brother grabbed me and pulled me up out of the water. I was spitting and sputtering forever, it seemed.

After that happened, I never seemed to enjoy the water. I finally took swimming lessons when I was an adult from a neighbor lady in our subdivision. However, I never really learned to be comfortable in the water. When she required us to dive off the diving board and swim clear to the other end of the pool to pass our swimming tests, I dived in and swam clear to the other end of the pool without coming up for air. I was still scared of not being able to touch the bottom and had never learned the art of treading water.

To this day, I think that experience at Lake Erie affected my love of being in the water. I am much happier with my two feet on the ground.

A few years ago, we went to a water park with our children and grandchildren. They told me that if I went down the slide on a tube, I wouldn't go under the water and I wouldn't get my hair wet. That is another reason I don't like the water. Wrong! I went under, my hair got soaked, my glasses flew off, and I wasn't able to touch the bottom of the pool. I finally made it to the side of the pool, but I was not a very happy camper!

They apologized and said their other grandmother had done it and hadn't gone under. Of course I forgave them and laughed about it.

If I get into a pool, I just stay in the shallow end and stay cool. I prefer everyone to just let me do my thing while they do theirs. That will keep Grammy happy!

Brother in the Service

I was in the third grade when my brother went into the army to serve his country. I loved my brother very much, and he loved to throw me up in the air and play and tease me. We were very close for being so many years apart. When I was eight years old, he was around twenty years old.

He was stationed in Mississippi, and my folks and I traveled there to see him before he left to go to New Guinea. We were staying in a hotel, and he came and met us in our room. Usually when I saw him, I would run to him and jump into his arms. For some unknown reason, that time I wanted nothing to do with him. My parents were so disappointed in me. The only thing anyone...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: iUniverse
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2017
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1532030274
• ISBN 13: 9781532030277
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 242
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: gpsr@libri.de; gpsr@libri.de; ; Friedensallee 273; Hamburg; 22763; Deutschland