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Former Utah Poet Laureate, Paisley Rekdal is the author of four works of nonfiction, including Appropriate: A Provocation, and six collections of poetry, most recently Nightingale, which won the 2020 Washington State Book Award for Poetry. She is the recipient of fellowships, grants, and prizes from the National Endowment for the Arts, the Guggenheim Foundation, Pushcart Press, and the Academy of American Poets, among others. A Seattle area native, Rekdal received her MA in Medieval Studies from the University of Toronto, and an MFA from the University of Michigan. Her work reflects her academic background in its frequent exploration and engagement with historical events that propel future narratives and identity politics that shape her life as an Asian American woman. She is a Distinguished Professor at the University of Utah, where she is also the creator and editor of community web projects Mapping Literary Utah and Mapping Salt Lake City.
回/Return If falling leaves return to roots, what grows when leaves cannot be gathered? What returns if not the body? What remains if not the soul? Who is to say these graves empty of their bones mean only loss, not that these men escaped death's hold entirely: they are not home, but they are not here, either, or have become so full of here we need another word than gone. So throw out the cormorant, its leg tied with silken ropes. Let it drag the air for memory. Over and over, as many times as you want. You can't snare what isn't missing. This country claimed their bodies. It never trapped their souls. 千/Thousand A thousand spades to clear the cuts. A thousand ropes to haul out redwoods. For the mountains, a thousand arms to scale the rocks, a thousand hands to lose in blasts. A thousand corpses frozen in the snow. A thousand bags of opium, oolong, rice mats. A thousand and a thousand and a thousand added to each payroll but not a single name. A thousand shards of pottery haloing the trestle. Someone's sketched a worker's face along the flip side of a telegram. He's four dollars a day, 35$ a month. His profile wreathes like smoke between the numbers. How many cairns did you say we passed outside Kelton? Translate these absences to bodies. Translate these bodies back to men. 思鄉/ Miss Home Ways to die: blasting accident, derailment, boiler crack. Crushed between trains crossing in the night. Electrocution, bad food, heart attack. You can work yourself to death, a la John, a la Henry. Or you can stay at home, and die anyway: fist and noose, club, gun, knife in the back. Gossip. Sharecropping. Bottle of rum with gas-soaked rag. What is freedom but the power to choose where you won't die? What is a train but the self once yoked to terror loosed inside a force that glides on heat and steam? You're so far from Mississippi, the UP boss said when we hit Rock Springs. Don't you miss your home? Miss home? I told him. I'm hoping to miss it entirely. 有識/ Have Knowledge Immigration questionnaire given to Chinese claiming to be former US residents, or for Chinese entering the country during the Chinese Exclusion Act. Have you ridden in a streetcar? Can you describe the taste of bread? Where are the joss houses located in the city? Do Jackson Street and Dupont run in a circle or a line, what is the fruit your mother ate before she bore you, how many letters a year do you receive from your father? Of which material is his ancestral hall now built? How many water buffalo does your uncle own? Do you love him? Do you hate her? What kind of bird sang at your parents' wedding? What are the birth dates for each of your cousins; did your brother die from starvation, work, or murder? Do you know the price of tea? Have you ever touched a stranger's face as he slept? Did it snow the year you first wintered in the desert? How much weight is a bucket and a hammer? Which store is opposite your grandmother's? Did you sleep with that man for money? Did you sleep with that man for love? Name the color and number of all your mother's dresses. Now your village's rivers. What diseases of the heart do you carry? What country do you see when you think of your children? Does your sister ever write? In which direction does her front door face? How many steps did you take when you finally left her? How far did you walk before you looked back?
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