It's Up to You: A Practice to Change Your Life by Changing Your Mind - Softcover

Casey, Karen

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1573243140 ISBN 13: 9781573243148

Verlag: Conari Press,U.S., 2008

Inhaltsangabe

Seven morning and evening practices to revolutionize your life. This small book will change everything if you let it. It's Up to You is based on the twelve principles in Casey's Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow: tending to our own gardens, focusing on solutions not problems, letting go of preconceived solutions, changing our minds, acting instead of reacting, giving up judgments, giving up trying to control, discovering our own lessons, doing no harm, quieting our minds, treating every encounter as the holy, and discerning our mind's own truth.

It's Up to You invites readers to do three simple things: meditate, pay attention, and make choices to change their livesfor a few minutes each morning and evening, one principle a week for twelve weeks. As we reflect on Casey's insight into the insidious ways we create misery or drama, try to impose will, and suffer needlessly, and as we follow her gentle prompts to make different choices, we begin to see that we can change just about anything in our lives by taking these small steps. Nothing could be simpler, and nothing could be more effective. Or as Karen Casey puts it, "Progress is guaranteed. Perfection isn't expected." Karen Casey's message is simple--show up, pay attention, and your world will change.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Karen Casey is a popular speaker at recovery and spirituality conferences throughout the country. She is the author of 20 plus books, including Each Day a New Beginning, which has sold more than 2 million copies. She and her husband spend their time between Florida, Indiana, and Minnesota.

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Its Up to You

A Practice to Change Your Life by Changing Your Mind

By Karen Casey

Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

Copyright © 2007 Karen Casey
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-57324-314-8

Contents

Introduction
Week 1 Tend Your Own Garden
Week 2 Seek Solutions
Week 3 Let Go of Outcomes
Week 4 Change Your Mind
Week 5 Choose to Act Rather Than React
Week 6 Give Up Your Judgments
Week 7 Remember That You Are Not in Control
Week 8 Discover Your Own Lessons
Week 9 Do No Harm
Week 10 Quiet Your Mind
Week 11 Every Encounter Is a Holy Encounter: Act Accordingly
Week 12 Choose the Quiet Voice of Loving-Kindness
Closing Thoughts

CHAPTER 1

Tend Your Own Garden

The first week of meditations, coupled with assignments, are written to help youkeep your focus where it belongs: on yourself! We are not privy to anyone else'sdivine plan. We generally see our own only in hindsight. But we can cultivatethe willingness to trust that we are in God's care and that our work is veryspecific. And so is everyone else's.

Day 1 Morning

Having anyone else as the focus of our attention will prevent us from doing thework that is ours to do.

It's so easy to sit in judgment of others, silently or sometimes even audiblycriticizing them for their actions. Remembering that every person alive has aspecific journey that includes a legion of activities has a way of eluding us.It's only our activities that deserve our attention.

We can learn from others, and that's why we share the path with so many. But weare not here to serve as judges; rather, we are here to be expressions of love.

I will literally count the number of times I reach out with love today and willwrite them down at the end of the day.

Day 1 Evening

Am I feeling good as I turn in for the night? Did I express my love for othersby my actions? I will take a moment to remember the details of my day. Whom didI treat with kindness? Let me name them. Did they feel my expression ofkindness. How could I tell?

Who didn't get my better self in our interactions? If I could redo theseexchanges, what would I do differently? Do I owe any amends? If I do, I willmake them tomorrow.

Day 2 Morning

Our attempts to control others are futile.

Wanting to control someone else usually grows out of our personal need to feelmore secure. If "they," whoever they might be, would only fulfill our will, itmeans they love us or honor us or accept our "superiority," thus making usworthy. How absurd our attempt to control. How destructive this thinking is.

For today, let's remember that our security and worthiness come from our HigherPower, not someone else's behavior. Ever.

If someone does what I am hoping they will do today, it's because that personhas chosen that action. Will I be able to see this idea revealed today? Takingtime to write down an example will help me remember what to look for.

Day 2 Evening

As I reflect on the day, do I feel good about letting go of what others weredoing? It's not easy. But it is possible. Every time I let a friend or strangerdo something his way, I was relieved of a burden. His success or failure wasn'ttied to me in any way.

How many burdens did I let go of today? Can I name them? Every time I let go, mylife was made more peaceful.

As I turn in for the night, I will thank my Higher Power for helping me letothers be themselves today.

Day 3 Morning

Everyone we meet is revealing something about ourselves.

Everyone on our path is divinely appointed. No one is present by accident. Andhow we choose to see each person is determined by the level of fear or love weare feeling, in the moment. Our perception reveals our strengths but also thosetraits that need correcting in ourselves.

Each person is a mirror of who I am. Making the decision to see as God wouldhave me see is the assignment. Today will present many opportunities to seepeople as God would have me see them. I will savor and remember those times Ifulfilled God's will by writing them down.

Day 3 Evening

What did I learn about myself today? How I saw the others on my path will supplythe information I now seek. Am I pleased with who I was in most encounters? Listsome examples. Which areas of my behavior need addressing? Naming them will keepme honest. Did fear rule me in any situation today? I will re-"vision" thatsituation for a few moments before going to sleep tonight.

Having God as my companion in all situations means I always have a guide whosesuggestions are impeccable. I have the capacity to follow God's lead. I knowwhich voice is holy.

Day 4 Morning

Learning and then practicing new behaviors regarding our relationships withothers can be exciting and very hopeful.

Any struggle we may be having at work or at home requires that we do somethingdifferently. We may not be totally at fault, of course, but we cannot changesomeone else's behavior or way of thinking. Fortunately, we can change our own.

That's the good news. It takes away a burden we don't need. Taking even a momentbefore responding to someone else's drama can change everything about theexperience.

An idea as simple as gently smiling at everyone before even saying a word canmake the day far more productive and peaceful, and far less dramatic. I will dothis today and follow up by writing about the experiences I had.

Day 4 Evening

Did I do anything I felt proud of in my most significant relationship today?Name that. Was it difficult to "show up" differently? How did my behavior lookin all other encounters? Writing an example will help me change it tomorrow. IfI had the chance to repeat today, what's the first thing I could do that wouldmake a difference?

Am I willing to begin tomorrow with this principle uppermost in my mind?

Day 5 Morning

Freedom from the obsession of trying to control others releases one's spirit.

Keeping our attention on others limits our own personal growth. We miss what wehave been born to do when we fail to pay heed to our own journey. Whateversomeone on our path is doing might well be edifying; it may absorb us, but theirpresence isn't meant to be the whole substance of our development. Someone elsecan't be the center of our life, or we are being held hostage.

Being attentive to fellow travelers is courteous and part of the work we arehere to do, because their presence is intentional, after all. But being overlyfocused on them or, worse yet, trying to control them, isn't.

I will enjoy my own journey today, knowing it's the one my Higher Power and Ipicked. Keeping tabs on what I like about my behavior today will help me repeatit tomorrow.

Day 5 Evening

Was today a good day? Was my life consumed, at any time, by my obsession withwhat someone else was doing? If it was, how could I have behaved instead? I willtake a moment to reflect on this. I will write a note reminding myself of what Icould do the next time I am allowing myself to be held hostage by another'sbehavior.

Being obsessed with others will never bring me success in my own life.

I will pray to remember that every life is divinely unfolding and doesn't needmy attempt to control it.

Day 6 Morning

It's an illusion to think we can control anyone else. Even our children havetheir own journeys.

It's easy to give up our attempt to control people on our path. The neighbor'schildren or a friend's spouse may drive us mad, but we can accept ourlimitations pretty easily. But the closer to home others are, the stronger isthe desire to control them. Isn't their behavior a reflection on us, after all?

It's clear that I need to relinquish all control, even over my loved ones,today. I can make my wishes known. Period. Today I will note the times I walkedaway rather than trying to control someone.

Day 6 Evening

Sharing with God or a loved one or friend the anguish as well as the joys ofgiving up control today will free me from the need to think any more about thisday that is passing. Each day is a new beginning, and tomorrow will give mepractice sessions galore.

I can rest tonight knowing I did the best I could, and I may do even bettertomorrow.

Day 7 Morning

We have so many more hours a day to appreciate the beauty all around us when weremember that we are not here to make hostages of others.

We will not walk this way again. That's a familiar phrase to all of us. But whenwe are trying to "tend another's garden instead of our own," we miss the beautyand the circumstances that have been prepared for us. While it's true that thepeople present have been gathered for a reason, they are not present to serve asour puppets, but rather as our teachers.

Each moment is unique, not to be repeated. I will glory in this thought as oftenas possible. What did I notice today?

Day 7 Evening

Did I make the right choices today when considering the actions of others?Remembering that my friends and colleagues, along with my family of origin, arepresent to complement my life, not be its focus, clarifies my role.

I will rest well tonight if I meditate on the times I let others make their ownchoices today. I can repeat my successes tomorrow by envisioning them over andover.

CHAPTER 2

Seek Solutions

Week 2 will help you remember that obsessing about any problem exaggerates it.It doesn't resolve it. Resolution generally comes when we put our attentionelsewhere, on helping others perhaps, and give our Higher Power time to nudge usin the direction we need to go.

Day 1 Morning

Others watch how we behave. Does our behavior match what we say? Or are wemaking problems bigger than they are?

Alcoholics Anonymous suggests that attraction to its program is more effectivethan promotion of it. The same holds true for behavior in relationships, doesn'tit? Telling others what they should do in regard to a problem will never be aseffective as saying what has worked for us, or showing by our actions what isworking now.

To repeat what has been said before, we can't change others. We can't controlopinions, behaviors, how others see their problems or their dreams. We can onlylive our lives honestly, lovingly, openly, and hope that stands for something.

I will allow the principles that guide my better self to reveal themselvestoday. And I will write out how the day went.

Day 1 Evening

Keeping our problems "right-sized" isn't always easy. How did I do today? Betteryet, did I get a glimmer of understanding that there are really no problems inmy life—only opportunities?

Did I demonstrate a healthy willingness to peacefully handle whatever came uptoday? Listing a few instances will help me remember it is possible, always, tomake another choice.

Day 2 Morning

Freeing others to handle their own problems makes us grateful for the extendedperiods of peace. Being vigilant is the only requirement.

Hungering for peaceful lives comes with maturity, perhaps. But it remainselusive unless we make it our intention. There are myriad approaches todiscovering peace. Meditation works for many. So does prayer, of course. Thesimple phrase, "I can see peace instead of this," can serve as a mantra too.

But one of the easiest ways to enjoy greater peace is by making the choice tolet other people walk their own paths rather than engaging in their problems.

I have multiple choices I can make today, and many of them will nurture mypeacefulness. It will be fruitful to keep track of the methods I use for beingat peace today.

Day 2 Evening

Did I destroy my peace today by overreacting to a situation? Making a note of itwill be a great reminder to avoid that behavior tomorrow.

Can I forgive myself for my behavior and envision a better choice should thesame thing come up tomorrow?

I can take a few moments now to visualize who I can be even in thosecircumstances that trigger my need to control. How does this feel?

Day 3 Morning

"Dancing" around the lives of others means missing our own. Is this our pattern?We can change it immediately if it is.

Making the decision to let others dance their own dance, experience their ownproblems, seek their own solutions, not trying to lead them or even follow them,is a thrilling and empowering experience of letting go that we all deserve. Infact, we will see quickly that we were not living life at all whenever someoneelse was in the center of our minds, particularly when that someone elsetriggered us to react rather than peacefully act.

I will keep my mind on my life today, and my journey will become clear. I willnote the many times this is paying dividends as the day unfolds.

Day 3 Evening

Being the center of my own life isn't the same as being self-absorbed. It simplymeans I have my attention where it belongs, on my goals and not on the goals orthe problems of others.

Is there evidence that I lived this principle today? Were there times I passedup the opportunity to live it? How might I plan better for tomorrow?

What is the first thing I can do if I see myself getting off track and intosomeone else's business?

Day 4 Morning

Letting go of others, loved ones or strangers, doesn't mean not caring.

On the contrary, letting go means we care a great deal. We want them to fullyenjoy their successes and learn the lessons that wear their name. If we areoverly involved in other people's lives, they'll not be able to discern exactlywhat they accomplished themselves.

Relinquishing others to their own lives, making the choice to do nothing, evenif challenged, isn't easy. But it is necessary, and it will let us be who we aremeant to be, too.

I will keep tabs on all the times I back away from taking charge or evenreacting when my input is not needed today.

Day 4 Evening

I need constant reminders to let go. No one is in my life by chance; however, noone is in my life to be controlled either. Their behavior need not challenge me.It's my decision to back away and be peaceful. It's also my decision to be agood student as well as teacher.

What kind of marks can I give myself today on my behavior? Can I feel proud? Ofwhat in particular?

Day 5 Morning

Trying to be the center of someone else's life will kill one's spirit.

Being in a relationship with others is good. Healing the human spirit depends onit. But choosing to be held hostage in any relationship means we have given upour identity and our connection to God, making the relationship partner, be it aspouse, a friend, or a boss, our Higher Power, thus the one who defines us. Whenthat happens, and it does all too often, inner chaos reigns, and neither partyin the relationship can grow.

Am I aware of my independence today? I need to keep track of all my actions thatreflect this.

Day 5 Evening

Was I able to be both independent and interdependent today? Since the twoperspectives complement each other, it's helpful to note when my behavior isillustrating one or the other. And as long as it's in line with one or theother, I am not being "dependent," which will hinder my personal growth and thegrowth of my companion too.

Dependence will not allow for healing to occur. How do I assess my actionstoday?

Day 6 Morning

Interdependence is the hallmark of a healthy relationship.

Getting enmeshed in someone else's life generally happens when we are feelinginsecure. We cling and then mistakenly think that if we are constantly "insync," we are meant for each other. The converse is the truth, of course.Dependence is never love, and it is never a sign of a healthy alliance. In fact,it screams unholy attachment to all onlookers.

Wanting healthy relationships takes a commitment to self-exploration and respectfor our partner too. Knowing who we are and what we really want for ourselves ismandatory. Only then can we be a good partner and stay whole.

Am I denying my own needs and giving in to my partner too often? I will jot downall the things I did today that made me feel good about myself.

Day 6 Evening

Taking care of myself never means discounting the desires of my partner.However, how I express my needs is important to the healthy, peaceful flow ofany relationship.

Was I loving and kind today in all encounters? Do I need to make any adjustmentsin my behavior tomorrow? If I do, perhaps I can get some guidance from God as Iprepare myself for sleep.

Day 7 Morning

Our own well-being is always the result of healthy decisions for ourselvescoupled with disengagement from the choices of others.

Every one of us is responsible for our individual choices. Relying on God as thesource for personal guidance has to be done by each of us too. For many, it's amajor shift in perspective to claim responsibility for our choices, but it'sempowering. Our lives will never be the same when we truly appreciate the depthof this responsibility and the freedom from chaos it offers.

My life is all I am in charge of, ever. How well will I do today?

Day 7 Evening

Did I contribute to chaos today? Inner chaos can be just as immobilizing asstirring it up among my acquaintances. The voice I chose to hear today wasreflected in the experiences I had. Those that were peaceful were under theguidance of God. Those that were chaotic had the ego as the architect.

Making a list of what experiences fall into each group will help me see what Iwant more of.

I can have a more peaceful life. It is up to me.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Its Up to You by Karen Casey. Copyright © 2007 Karen Casey. Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Conari Press,U.S.
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2008
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1573243140
• ISBN 13: 9781573243148
• Einband: Tapa blanda
• Anzahl der Seiten: 208
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar