What He Must Be: ...if He Wants to Marry My Daughter - Softcover

Baucham, Voddie, Jr.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1581349300 ISBN 13: 9781581349306

Verlag: Crossway Books, 2009

Inhaltsangabe

Guides parents in evaluating young men seeking their daughter's hand, assists young women in understanding the only kind of man they should consider marrying, and teaches young men how to grow in biblical manhood.

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorinnen und Autoren

Voddie Baucham Jr. (DMin, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) is dean of the seminary at African Christian University in Lusaka, Zambia. The author of a number of books, including Family Driven Faith, The Ever-Loving Truth, and Joseph and the Gospel of Many Colors, Baucham is also a pastor, church planter, and conference speaker.

Voddie Baucham Jr. (DMin, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) is the late dean of the seminary at African Christian University in Lusaka, Zambia. The author of a number of books, including Family Driven Faith, The Ever-Loving Truth, and Joseph and the Gospel of Many Colors, Baucham was also a pastor, church planter, and conference speaker.

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What He Must Be

... if he wants to marry my daughter

By Voddie Baucham Jr.

Good News Publishers

Copyright © 2009 Voddie Baucham Jr.
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-58134-930-6

Contents

Introduction, 
1 Multigenerational Vision, 
2 The Ministry of Marriage, 
3 A Father's Role, 
4 He Must Be a Follower of Christ, 
5 He Must Be Prepared to Lead, 
6 He Must Lead Like Christ (Ephesians 5), 
7 He Must Be Committed to Children, 
8 He Must Practice the Four P's, 
9 Don't Send a Woman to Do a Man's Job, 
10 Can't Find One ... Build One, 
Conclusion, 
Notes, 

CHAPTER 1

MULTIGENERATIONAL VISION

"I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments."

EXODUS 20:5–6

WHO GIVES THIS WOMAN?

My hands were shaking as I stood at the altar staring into the eyes of all those people. I tried to relax, but the more I thought about it, the worse it got. My hands were sweating, my mouth was dry, and I had a thousand things running through my head. The music started, the crowd stood to their feet, and then, like something out of a movie script, the bride appeared. I thought I was going to pass out ... and it wasn't even my wedding.

Here I was, a young seminarian about to perform his first "real" wedding ceremony. It was all I could do to get through my lines and remember the bride's and groom's names. Since then I've thought a lot about weddings. To tell the truth, I'm not much of a fan. The whole thing has become so commercialized that the sacred covenant at the center of it all has been all but lost. However, a closer look at the wedding ceremony offers important insight.

For one thing, most people — whether they are Christians or not — want to get married in a church. They also usually want to have the ceremony performed by a minister. Why? I believe this is due to the fact that we all know deep down that God is the author of marriage. We understand that marriage is sacred.

However, what intrigues me most is a simple ritual that goes almost unnoticed in contemporary ceremonies — the consent of the father for the bride to marry. As I stood there that day, I asked the age-old question, "Who gives this woman to be married?" Even in the movies sentimental screenwriters often work the traditional response, "Her mother and I do" into the script. But where does this come from? What does it mean? Do we really believe that a woman needs the consent of her father in order to marry? Do we really believe a young man needs permission from the father of the bride? Or is this question (and the corresponding "may I have your daughter's hand in marriage?" before the official engagement) merely a quaint, anachronistic touch that we can do without if we wish?

I believe it's more than that. I believe these two steps are extremely important. I also believe that their true meaning and significance must be recovered. Young men have traditionally asked a woman's father for her hand in marriage because we have always known that fathers are responsible for protecting their daughters. Unfortunately, this question is often reserved until after the couple has been seeing each other for years and, in many instances, have already begun to enjoy the privileges of marriage. At that point the question is reduced to an insulting, symbolic gesture.

As for the question at the altar, I believe that too has great significance. Fathers do indeed "give [their] daughters in marriage" (Jeremiah 29:6). This is a symbol of protection and care for the daughter being entrusted to her husband. It is also a symbol of trust. The father is saying to his daughter, "I have evaluated and appraised this man, and I trust him with the most precious thing in the world, my little girl."

If this is true (and I believe it is), then fathers must do more than just send their daughters off into the world and "hope they come back with a good one." We must take our responsibility seriously. We must walk with our daughters through this process of finding a suitable husband. We must also actively protect our daughters from men who do not measure up to God's standard. If we don't, the consequences may be dire.

Unfortunately, most of us have little or no experience or coaching in this area. We have been conditioned by our culture to take a backseat and just hope for the best. As a result, our daughters are left to fend for themselves, and the results are sometimes frightening. But what's a father to do? Are we supposed to arrange marriages? Should we lock our daughters in the basement until they're thirty? Besides, how appropriate would it be for me to stick my nose in her business?

These questions and a whole host of others have kept many fathers on the sidelines. But this simply is not good enough. There is too much at stake. For the sake of our children and our children's children, we must reclaim this ground. We must begin to think outside the cultural box in order to protect our sons and daughters from the devastation all around us.

A MULTIGENERATIONAL OBJECT LESSON

Several years ago, my family had the privilege of building our first home. People warned us that the experience would be traumatic, but we went forward nonetheless. Several events surrounding that experience are burned indelibly on the forefront of my mind. One of the most poignant memories is the day I decided to plant some shade trees.

I had talked about planting shade trees in our backyard for weeks. I researched the different types of trees known to thrive in our part of the country. I looked into the type and amount of shade each would provide. I even estimated the amount of time it would take for each type of tree to reach maturity. In short, I did my homework. Finally, the day came and I went out and bought our trees. I bought a magnolia because it is one of my all-time favorites. I also bought a sweetgum, a red maple, and an oak tree. I had the trees delivered and planted them in strategic sections of our yard, paying particular attention to the course of the setting summer sun.

At last, after the last support stake was driven into the ground, my work was done. I stepped back, took in the glorious sight, and hurried off to collect Bridget and the kids. I had them all close their eyes as they walked through the back door. Then, after everyone was in perfect viewing position, I yelled, "Ta da!"

I wish I could say that everyone marveled at the grandeur of our new landscape. However, much to my dismay the children were actually quite disappointed. They looked at the trees, then back at me, then back at the trees, then back at me. Finally, after a few moments of silence, one of them said, "That's it?" "What do you mean?" I replied. "I thought you were planting trees," the let-down child added. "That's what I did," I said with a hint of frustration in my voice. Then it dawned on me. They were expecting full-grown, thick-limbed, ready-to-climb trees! They couldn't understand why I was so excited about these glorified bushes. Fortunately, I recognized that was an incredible teaching moment.

I told the children that planting trees takes patience. We would have to wait for the trees to reach maturity. However, in five or ten years there would be more shade than they could imagine. At this point they looked at each other and shook their heads. "Dad,...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Crossway Books
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2009
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1581349300
• ISBN 13: 9781581349306
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 213
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Crossway; https://www.crossway.org/books/o-sacred-head-now-wounded-cob/; ; 1300 Crescent St.; Wheaton; IL; 60187; USA
• Verantwortliche Person: Cellestria; mail@cellestria.de; ; Tulpenweg 3; Melle; 49324; Deutschland