Creating Space for Happiness: The Secret of Giving Room - Softcover

Castro, Anthony

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1591026687 ISBN 13: 9781591026686

Verlag: G38-Prometheus, 2008

Inhaltsangabe

""Finally! A self-help book that keeps the reader engaged from start to finish! Dr. Castro's novel approach of weaving such captive and applicable vignettes all the way through his easy to understand life lessons is both informative and entertaining. Read this book and your life will improve by learning the secret of giving room. Creating Space for Happiness works...make it work for you." --Kelly Perdew, Managing Director, Angel Venture Partners, Winner, Season 2 of NBC's The Apprentice, and Author of Take Command: 10 Leadership Principles I Learned in the Military and Put to Work for Donald Trump "Engaging...Castro offers several principles-organized around the theme of 'giving room'-that readers can use to understand and improve their lives and relationships. Many parents should find this book to be especially interesting and helpful."--Scott R. Harris, Associate Professor of Sociology, Saint Louis University, Author of The Meanings of Marital Equality"Dr. Castro presents a sound and practical approach for coping with personal life experiences that can stunt our ability to grow. By the interweaving of clinical vignettes and his own life experiences, Creating Space for Happiness shows us ways to give ourselves room to grow. It is one of those rare books that can give us power to transform lives and even save them."--Ed Garcia, MD, Chairman, Department of Psychiatry, St. John's Mercy Medical Center, St. Louis, Missouri

Über diesen Titel

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

By Anthony J. Castro

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

creating space for HAPPINESS

the secret of GIVING ROOMBy Anthony J. Castro

Prometheus Books

Copyright © 2009 Anthony J. Castro
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-59102-668-6

Contents

Acknowledgments.....................................................................11Foreword by Dr. Craig Rodgers.......................................................13Preface.............................................................................17Introduction: Giving Room...........................................................19CHAPTER ONE: GIVING ROOM IS DIFFICULT...............................................23Holly's Story: "Not Too Much Jam!"..................................................23The Odds Are Against Us.............................................................28My Memory-and Other Psychological Processes-Escape Me...............................31Holly's Story: "In Jesus' Name We Pray. Amen."......................................38The Rat Race........................................................................40Imprisoned by Guilt.................................................................42CHAPTER TWO: GIVING YOURSELF ROOM...................................................53Holly's Story: "Spiral Break".......................................................53I Can't Take It Anymore!............................................................60De-Velcroing Your Mind..............................................................64Seeing Life as a Continuum: Moving Toward "Healthy Selfishness".....................73The Script..........................................................................81Perry Mason Model...................................................................86Holly's Story: "I Am Watching You"..................................................90Listen to Your Gut?.................................................................96Who Is in Your Corner?..............................................................107CHAPTER THREE: GIVING ROOM FOR OTHERS TO GROW.......................................117Kids Are People, Too!...............................................................118Men's Issues?.......................................................................123The Urgency to Give.................................................................132Parenting Class 101: Kids and Money.................................................137Parenting Class 101: Building Frustration Tolerance.................................146Parenting Class 101: Consistency Is the Key.........................................167Parenting Class 101: Spankings or Time-Outs?........................................177Holly's Story: "There's No Place Like Home".........................................189Giving Couples Room.................................................................195Giving Room to a "Caring Ear".......................................................214Conclusion: Holly and Giving Room...................................................225Holly's Tough Road Ahead............................................................225Ego Strength........................................................................234Suggested Reading...................................................................255Bibliography........................................................................257Index...............................................................................259

Chapter One

GIVING ROOM IS DIFFICULT

HOLLY'S STORY: "NOT TOO MUCH JAM!"

Winter sleet and rain pound the rickety fifty-year-old apartment complex in Southside Philly. Its wooden shutters barely hang on, clinging to the mud-red brick siding like driftwood being tossed on a stormy sea. The wind howls as Holly kicks at the door of Unit 2, her home. This rarely happens. She again reaches into the pocket of her backpack and unzips the secret compartment in the bottom right corner. Searching, searching, but still no key! Tears roll down her cheeks as Holly again retraces the regimented, daily steps in her mind....

* * *

The alarm clock sounds at 6:00 a.m. Quickly, though she is still half-asleep, Holly heads for the kitchen. She methodically begins pouring the coffee grounds into the coffee machine filter, then adds the water and presses the start button. Mother's coffee will be ready in no time. Next, she pops a few slices of bread into the toaster oven for herself and her sister, Katie. A sliced bagel is tossed in for her mother. Her cat, Sunny, is next. She cleans out the litter box, refills her food bowl, and gives her fresh water. On the kitchen table, Katie and Holly's homework is scattered. Like a veteran assembly-line worker at an automotive plant, Holly organizes her sister's homework. She knows her sister's daily schedule at school to a tee: first numbers, then letters, then there is story time. Holly throws her own books and assignments haphazardly into her backpack and heads for the bathroom. She rushes through her grooming ritual: wash the face, brush the teeth, comb the hair, and throw on some clothes. Holly then allows herself to go to the bathroom.

Katie is then awakened. It's 6:40 a.m. As Holly departs their bedroom, she barks the usual commands: "Clothes, socks, and shoes are at the bottom of bed. Get dressed and get in the bathroom." Back in the kitchen, she butters the toast, wraps it carefully in a washcloth, and shoves it into her pocket. Holly hears Katie fumbling around in the bedroom. All it takes to get Katie back on track is a stern look from her big sister. Mother's bagel is placed on a plate and strawberry jam and butter are applied. Not too much jam! Mother doesn't like too much jam. Mother's coffee is then prepared. Exactly two and one-half teaspoons of sugar. No milk. No cream.

Holly glances down at her wristwatch, suddenly alarmed that twenty minutes have elapsed since waking her sister. "That's impossible! It should only be 6:56 a.m., not 7:00 a.m.!" she worries aloud. Holly knows she is on the clock now and running dangerously late. Forced to rush through the final and most delicate of steps in her morning ritual, Holly stops abruptly in the middle of the hallway. Like a boxer trying to pump up for a prizefight, Holly aggressively rubs her face with both hands, then shakes out her hands and arms. Slowly she begins to tiptoe toward her mother's bedroom. She twists the doorknob and it squeaks; Holly freezes, her whole body cringing. Mother moans but fortunately doesn't wake. The stench from the room is overwhelming, a combination of her mother not showering for a week, cigarette smoke, and the half-eaten pizza, moldering on the bedside table.

Holly taps her mother on the shoulder and whispers in her ear, "Mommy, your coffee and bagel are ready." Her mother doesn't move. Holly whispers louder, "Mommy, your coffee and bagel are ready." Her mother begins to stir. Now is the moment of truth. Holly's heart races and sweat beads her little brow. Which Mommy will it be this time? Nice Mommy? The Mommy who reads to us, sings songs with us, and hugs us? The Mommy who tells me she loves me? The Mommy who says I'm a big girl and that she is proud of me? Or will it be Mean Mommy, who hits us, calls us names, and, worst of all, the Mommy who stays in her room and doesn't come out for days? Lately, it's been rough. Holly and Katie have been living with "Mean Mommy" for several weeks now.

Mother's puffy eyelids slowly rise; her face is blank. Holly braces herself. After ten seconds of her mother's...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: G38-Prometheus
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2008
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1591026687
• ISBN 13: 9781591026686
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 273
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Simon and Schuster Netherlands BV, GPSR Europäische Union; info@simonandschuster.nl; ; Herculesplein 96; AA Utrecht; 3584; Niederlande