Heart of Money: A Couple's Guide to Creating True Financial Intimacy - Softcover

Price, Deborah

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1608681270 ISBN 13: 9781608681273

Verlag: New World Library, 2012

Inhaltsangabe

Money issues have long been the number one cause of relationship disharmony and divorce, yet when it comes to identifying and changing unhealthy money patterns and behaviors, many couples feel helpless. Money coach Deborah Price has taught thousands of people how to work together to resolve money conflicts and create a financially empowered future. In these pages, she presents strategies and tools for creating financial intimacy while learning to communicate about money issues calmly and reflectively, rather than reactively. With inspirational stories and practical techniques and exercises, this book will help you and your partner:

* learn the language of financial intimacy and talk about money in a healthy and empowering way
* recognize and change unhealthy money patterns
* identify which of the eight money types apply to each of you and understand the impact they have on your life, your relationship, and your finances
* build a mutual sense of financial security and confidence
* work through setbacks and challenges to make your relationship stronger than ever before

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Deborah L. Price is a money coach and the founder and CEO of the Money Coaching Institute, which provides money coaching, consulting, and coach training to individuals, couples, and businesses. Now an international speaker, consultant, and trainer, for over twenty years she was a financial advisor with firms such as Merrill Lynch, MassMutual, and AIG. She lives in Northern California.

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The Heart of Money

A Couple's Guide to Creating True Financial Intimacy

By Deborah L. Price

New World Library

Copyright © 2012 Deborah L. Price
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-60868-127-3

Contents

Acknowledgments, 
Foreword by Jamie Traeger-Muney, PhD, 
Introduction, 
CHAPTER ONE. Money: The Last Taboo, 
CHAPTER TWO. Your Money Story and Personal Mythology, 
CHAPTER THREE. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Money Patterns, 
CHAPTER FOUR. Creating a Language of Financial Intimacy, 
CHAPTER FIVE. Managing Your Money Conversations, 
CHAPTER SIX. Common Money Traps and Issues, 
CHAPTER SEVEN. Overcoming Financial Challenges and Setbacks, 
CHAPTER EIGHT. Negotiating Money Conflicts and Differences, 
CHAPTER NINE. Kids and Money, 
CHAPTER TEN. Co-creating a Rich and Financially Empowered Relationship, 
Notes, 
Resources, 
Certified Money Coaches, 
Index, 
About the Author, 

CHAPTER 1

MONEY: THE LAST TABOO

No failure in America, whether of love or money, is ever simple; it is always a kind of betrayal, of a mass of shadowy, shared hopes.

— Greil Marcus, Mystery Train

If you look around at the world today, our collective money issues lie somewhere deep at the root of every major global problem we are facing. Unthinkable greed, overconsumption, environmental abuse, mass poverty, outrageous military spending, and the global financial crisis have caused us finally to hit bottom. While waking up from this hangover may not be easy, there has never been a more compelling time to shift our collective relationship with money. The subject of money is the last taboo and the final horizon in the evolution of our human consciousness.

Almost every relationship encounters challenges or outright conflict around money at some point. In my experience, few couples know how to communicate effectively about this highly charged subject in a way that is compassionate and supportive. No wonder many marriages disintegrate and fail over money issues! Issues and conflict around money remain a leading cause of divorce, which leaves in its wake not only financial consequences but emotional devastation as well.

Left unmanaged and without proper and timely help, money issues will eventually chip away at the foundation of trust and intimacy in our relationships. Without trust, intimacy cannot survive, and without intimacy, love withers and dies. The good news is that if couples recognize and manage their money dynamics early in their relationship — or, better yet, before they live together or marry — they can learn how to work through and heal their differences.

How can we do this if we can't even talk about money calmly and rationally because the subject is so taboo, triggering, and unsafe? Therein lies the challenge and what I most hope to assist you with. The money coaching strategies and support in this book will help you to achieve the understanding and compassion you need to foster the love and intimacy you both desire.

Breaking Free of the Money Taboo

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, a taboo is "something that is avoided or forbidden for religious or social reasons," and therefore, talking about a taboo subject is often considered wrong or distasteful. In the past sixty years, we've opened the door to exploring many historically taboo subjects, such as sex, ethnicity, religion, and politics; and in doing so, we have expanded and evolved both our individual and our collective consciousness. As a reward for these efforts, we have all witnessed and experienced greater openness, acceptance, and tolerance in the world at large.

Yet somehow, money has remained a vastly unexplored taboo, and there is more than sufficient evidence to show that this taboo is simply not serving us. The emotional and financial pain and consequences that couples experience are taking a toll and costing them far too much. It is time to break free of the money taboo and heal our collective money issues.

Facing the Money Shadow

Any area of our lives that remains off-limits to talk about openly, honestly, and without fear can become a "shadow" part of our being. In Jungian psychology, the shadow or shadow aspect represents a part of our unconscious mind that contains repressed aspects of ourselves. Carl Jung wrote that "everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is." In monetary terms, the shadow represents unconscious money patterns or behaviors we may possess that are harmful to ourselves or to others.

One example of this is when a person secretly invests a large sum of money without the knowledge of his or her partner and then loses the money, creating an extreme financial loss and feelings of betrayal. This has happened with many of the couples in my practice, and in each case, shadow influences were present in the partner who had secretly invested. In one couple, the shadow aspect of the husband had to do with unacknowledged anger toward his wife. Rather than learning how to address and communicate his anger, he acted out his feelings through secret behavior that ultimately sabotaged their finances and their relationship. Fortunately, they were able to heal and resolve this betrayal, but sadly, it doesn't always work out favorably. Many marriages fail due to the shadow influences in one or both spouses that manifest in negative behaviors, secrecy, and betrayal.

Let these stories be a cautionary tale for us all, because to the extent that we are unwilling to move beyond the money taboo, we all stand to carry a part of this shadow inside us. Every day, we hear news about some individual (or corporation — they have their own shadow aspects) who committed an act that no one saw coming or was, by all accounts, not in keeping with his or her core personality. This is always followed by statements like "But he was such a nice guy; what happened?" from those who knew the person. Our shadow aspects are generally hidden deep within us. Most of us work hard to overcome these tendencies, but we often discover the money shadow in others only when we get hit between the eyes.

In relationships, the money shadow can show up in a number of ways, but perhaps one of the most common is financial infidelity. According to a survey conducted by the National Endowment for Financial Education, over 58 percent of those surveyed reported that they hid money or purchases from their spouse. Over 34 percent indicated that they had previously lied to their spouse about their earnings, debt, or finances. What makes us do this? Our own unexplored money shadows. How can we change this? Let's start by getting out of the money closet, which is the first step to breaking free of the money taboo. We have everything to gain by doing this and increasingly more to lose if we continue to keep the deadbolt locked on the door. Can we really afford to lose any more? I don't think so. Today, with millions of people reaching their financial breaking point, the stakes are getting higher and the consequences are far greater than ever before. Financial planning will never be an adequate solution for the money issues that cause financial conflict, self-sabotage, and disharmony in relationships.

Humans have had a rather precarious relationship with money since it was first created. Historically, whenever we have lost our way with money, becoming increasingly greedy, overconsuming, and overindebted, we have experienced...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: New World Library
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2012
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1608681270
• ISBN 13: 9781608681273
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 224
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: New World Library; https://www.newworldlibrary.com; ; 14 Pamaron Way; Novato; CA; 94949; USA
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar