Skeleton Code: A Satirical Guide to Secret Keeping - Hardcover

Campanella, Alla; Massey, Ken

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 1630479551 ISBN 13: 9781630479558

Verlag: Morgan James Publishing, 2016

Inhaltsangabe

Early in life, we learn to exaggerate our positive personal qualities and hide or deny our failures and weaknesses. The Skeleton Code is a satirical and humorous look at the many ways we protect our public personas by closeting our personal secrets, an ultimately self-deluding way of life. As a parody of the self-help “success” genre, the book presents facetious strategies about how to cover up our silly and scandalous secrets before turning to The Skeleton Cure.

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Alla Campanella grew up in St. Petersburg, Russia and has lived in the US since 1992. A longtime student of the arts and humanities, she enjoys her work as an artist and photographer. Alla was inspired to write this book because she heard so many personal and painful stories from her clients. She resides with her husband Ken in North Carolina.

Ken Massey is a public speaker, writer and minister enjoying the second and truer half of life. He holds two graduate theological degrees and is trained as a life coach and conflict manager. He enjoys laughter, golf, and traveling, but finds his greatest fulfillment helping other people discover their true value and purpose as human beings. Ken is a native Texan who loves the beauty and the people of North Carolina.

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The Skeleton Code

A Satirical Guide to Secret Keeping

By Alla Campanella, Ken Massey

Morgan James Publishing

Copyright © 2017 Alla Campanella and Ken Massey
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-63047-955-8

Contents

Preface, 
Acknowledgements, 
Introduction, 
Chapter One Dress For Diversion, 
Chapter Two Mimic the Masters, 
Chapter Three Take The Offensive, 
Chapter Four Fear Failure, 
Chapter Five Plausible Deniability, 
Chapter Six One Way Trust, 
Chapter Seven Personal Distraction, 
Chapter Eight Get Better Or Get Caught, 
Chapter Nine Come Out With Flare, 
Chapter Ten The Skeleton Curse, 
Chapter Eleven The Skeleton Cure, 
Bibliography, 

CHAPTER 1

Dress For Diversion

Dressing well can open all doors.

— Adapted from Thomas Fuller

Dressing well may open some doors, but it can also close a very important one: the one to your skeleton closet! We agree with Euripides, who 2,500 years ago said, "Know first who you are and then adorn yourself accordingly." We say, know first how you want to be perceived and what you're hiding, and then create a persona to emphasize the former and cover the latter. Who better to dress to impress than those with counter-impressive secrets to hide?

In this chapter, we will address two Skeleton Code approaches to dressing for diversion. First, you will need to create a general and overarching identity as a fine upstanding citizen of unquestioned character. Don't worry, it's not as difficult as it sounds.

Second, you will need to craft a more specific alter ego based on the unique skeletons you are hiding in your closet. If you're hiding racism, for instance, you may want to join the NAACP or maybe just get one of their bumper stickers. We call this technique Accentuate the Positive. Let's look first at the big picture ...

The Big Persona

We all judge books (and people) by their covers. Thank God we can create a good cover. Anyone can manage appearances. Your mission, and it's not impossible, is to cover up well, to dress the part, and to perfect the pretense. Attractive works, but only if it attracts people away from your secrets. You can learn to give your audience visual clues that give a Mother Teresa affect, even if you have Paris Hilton DNA.

Seldom do people discern deception behind an expensive dress, classy suit, or fine array of the right accessories. And yes, we are speaking literally and metaphorically. The "Shallow Hal" world is not limited to Hollywood. Ours is a skin-deep culture from east to west, enamored with outward appearance and surface judgment, unless there is a compelling reason to go deeper.

A careless scandal would be one of those reasons. Don't give your audience any cause to be curious about what's beneath your polished exterior. We don't have to go deep with your persona, but we do have to be thoughtful and thorough.

We need to move beyond the limited help of a publicity agent or image consultant. These professionals may help you present yourself in a way that is most advantageous to your professional career, but they have ethical limitations that make them ineffective for skeleton work. Modifying a resume to keep a skeleton at bay would be a case in point.

In the professional world, some curious prospective employer could pry into your reality. They could get access to official documents like transcripts, birth certificates, and criminal background information. For closet concealment, you'll need more than any marketing make-up artist can provide.

When it comes to your personal image, think big. You need to stretch your façade from horizon to horizon. You are not limited to the present or to recent history in this effort. Clear and consistent stories from childhood are powerful shapers of image, especially if they are stories of overcoming tragedy. Be careful to avoid too much drama. Some people will try to uncover old news stories if the episode is too fantastic.

Your visible and verbal image is your first and most important line of defense against closet invasion. The more grounded you seem on the surface, the less curiosity or concern you will create. The more "padding" you can use in the creation of your character, the better — especially when there are significant risks rattling around in your closet.

Certain liberties in massaging your image are not only acceptable; they are also absolutely necessary. You can also be certain that your friends are doing the same. They are dropping names of people they've never met. They are telling about how they stopped to give aid at the scene of an accident when all they really did was slow down to gawk. You can develop better skills than these and rise above their clumsy and ill-fated efforts.

Too Close For Comfort

The greatest challenge to big persona success is a too close relationship like marriage or deep friendship. It's really hard to have secure closets in close quarters. If you have large skeletons and an impressive image to protect, you might want to stay away from both of these, or at least recognize the long-term challenges and risks. They can be overcome, but not without real finesse, such as we found with this couple.

Matt and Tiffany learned to dress for diversion because of a marital skeleton. They met and fell in love during college. Matt was from New York and Tiffany was from South Carolina, but they found each other 'different' in the most intriguing ways.

Matt was an outgoing and confident young man — a real straight-talker. Tiffany thought his honesty and openness was a refreshing change from the young southern men she had known. Tiffany was intelligent and refined, but soft-spoken and tender-hearted, which made Matt feel a warmth and connection he had never known with anyone in New York.

Their relationship quickly became passionate and exclusive, and the two became inseparable. The warm emotions of the relationship came in waves ... over and over again. They felt completely alive and in love.

Five years later, Tiffany was wishing Matt would die — a rather striking skeleton in her closet. She was taking Prozac and Trazadone for her depression. Matt actually had an appointment at the World Trade Center on 9/11 that was cancelled at the last minute and Tiffany kept fantasizing, "if only he had been up there in that office." She was miserable and couldn't tell a soul.

Divorce wasn't an option in her family, nor did it seem like a secure move for her future. She had put her career on hold so that Matt could get established in the financial world. If she divorced, she would have only settlement money and no job. She didn't know how she would survive or where she would go. It would be so much better if he would die in an accident. She would have the insurance money and an outpouring of support rather than judgment about a failed marriage.

What she didn't know was that Matt had the same feelings about her. He was sick of her Southern passive aggressiveness. He had no real qualms about divorce, only financial fears about the settlement. Of course, he would never do anything to actually hurt his wife. He just wanted her to go away — permanently and inexpensively.

His and hers closets with matching skeletons are more common than you can imagine. And what a great challenge and frequent necessity to keep important secrets from those you live with! Matt and Tiffany did this well because desperation really is the mother of invention. They knew the personas...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Morgan James Publishing
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2016
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1630479551
• ISBN 13: 9781630479558
• Einband: Gebundene Ausgabe
• Anzahl der Seiten: 230
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar