Verwandte Artikel zu No Will Set You Free: Quit Overthinking and Say Yes...

No Will Set You Free: Quit Overthinking and Say Yes to Self-Happiness (Habits Book for People Pleasing, Why You Should Choose the Power of No, Prioritize Yourself) - Softcover

Tougias, Michael

 
9781684816040: No Will Set You Free: Quit Overthinking and Say Yes to Self-Happiness (Habits Book for People Pleasing, Why You Should Choose the Power of No, Prioritize Yourself)

Inhaltsangabe

Prioritize Yourself with the Power of No

Break the habit of saying yes with these life-changing practices by Michael J. Tougais, New York Times bestseller author of The Finest Hours, which went on to become a popular and critically acclaimed film.

Take back your power to choose. Being a yes man seems like the easiest course of action when it comes to maintaining relationships in your life. But people pleasing can become an impulse that neglects your own self-happiness and success until it is too late. Instead of overthinking about what others want, learn effective practices for setting boundaries and choosing what you want in Michael J. Tougais’ bestselling habits book.

Take action to follow your dreams. No Will Set You Free helps you prepare for any situation through effective communication and recognizing when you need to put yourself first. Instead of letting social norms and negativity get the best of you, you’ll be able to choose what you are passionate about. That way, you can say yes to more fulfilling experiences and relationships than you ever imagined.

With each chapter, you’ll find examples of incorporating the power of no into your daily life, such as:

  • Easy ways to put your free time first
  • Setting boundaries and voicing your needs at work
  • How to carefully approach saying no to your family
  • A new perspective on how to deal with disappointment

If you enjoy personal transformation books like How to Know a Person, Build the Life You Want, or The Answer is You, then you will love No Will Set You Free.

Die Inhaltsangabe kann sich auf eine andere Ausgabe dieses Titels beziehen.

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Michael J. Tougais is a bestselling author and speaker known for his publication in true survival stories and success guidebooks. Having graduated from Saint Michael’s College, he pursued a career in media with notable news sources and marketing publications such as ABC’s 20/20, Liberty Mutual, and Fox News. Fascinated by unbelievable encounters with nature, Michael went on to write several bestselling history books for adults and teens, such as The Finest Hours, Fatal Forecast, and more. When not writing or presenting survival and travel stories, he holds presentations on how to beat the odds for the best success. Michael currently splits his time between Massachusetts and Florida.

Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

We have all been taught to seize the moment and say yes to opportunity, invitations, and requests on our time. Most of us say yes without really thinking. Society has trained us to be polite and accommodate a friend, take that promotion, go to that party. We have said yes for so long we don’t even consider its downside.

Studies have shown that we underestimate how difficult it is to say no. Some of that research is sprinkled into the following pages. In particular, researcher and Professor Vanessa Bohns, PhD at Cornell University, has performed studies where participants asked more than 14,000 strangers a variety of requests. The strangers complied at a rate far higher than the requesters predicted. Compliance wasn’t necessarily because the strangers wanted to perform the task, but rather their dread of saying no. “Many people,” writes Dr. Bohns, “agree to do things—even things they would prefer not to do—simply to avoid the considerable discomfort of saying no.” You might be one of those people.

This little book will break you of that habit. It will make you reconsider how you conduct yourself in your job and how you use your free time. I know this because I was a yes man. But through a long journey I learned the power of No. I’m going to share that journey and hopefully some of my earlier predicaments and faulty decision-making will resonate with you, and you’ll say, I’ve done the exact same thing.

By learning the strength and freedom within one simple word, No, I turned what I considered an average life, into an extraordinary one. In the pages that follow you will see how I transitioned out of a soul-sucking job and launched a career that I was passionate about—one that brought me joy and more wealth than I had dreamed of. And that was just beginning. Once I learned that No really could set me free, my life took off in a variety of new directions—all of them more fulfilling than where I had been. Some of those stories are in this book to show you that you too can harness No and start on a path of continued happiness.

When we were children we were taught to be “good,” good as in get along with others, be kind, be respectful, and so on. Many of us internalized that to mean that whenever possible we should agree with others and make ourselves available when asked to do something. And as we grow up, we don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings by not fulfilling a request. In a nutshell, so many of our actions are taken to avoid the interpretation of being “selfish.” Well, throw that thinking out the window, the opposite is true: saying no has nothing to do with selfishness and everything to do with you finding the balance to make you relaxed and happy. And when that happens you are a more giving, thoughtful and empathetic person. When you feel an inner calmness, you are better equipped to help others in need. But first you need to focus on you.

Every time you say no to requests that feel like a burden, you are creating time to say yes to what’s important, yes to special people, yes to your passions. When you discover your limits of just how much you can pack into a week, a more peaceful, generous you emerges and everyone benefits. Maybe instead of going to party or function you secretly dread, you use that time to volunteer for a cause where your time can truly make a difference. Nothing selfish about that.

I find that when I’ve carved out time for me, and am not harried or feeling rushed, I’m a much better listener. I put more effort into understanding what the other person is truly trying to convey. The relaxed Mike doesn’t interrupt but rather is more compassionate and caring. I want to understand what motivates the other person, why they do what they do, and I don’t offer solutions until the other person has fully explained themselves. All this is happening because I’m not glancing at my watch because I’ve said yes to too many obligations. I become an improved listener because I’ve said no to the trivial, the unimportant.

If you were to say yes to a request that deep down inside you really don’t want to do, what happens? Often the outcome is to become resentful, and direct that resentment toward the person doing the asking. If the person is an important one in your life, the last thing you need percolating inside you is resentment. Instead, offer alternative plans to the person, for them to say yes or no to. You are leaving the door open. If the person is not one of great importance in your life, a simple no thank you is sufficient. By declining the request, you just created time for yourself and perhaps for someone who is central in your life. That could by your partner, your children or someone who needs a helping hand. Again, nothing selfish about that!

No and You

Is there too much “yes” in your life?

  • Are you stressed from being overscheduled?
  • Are your closest friends and family members expressing feelings of neglect?
  • Are you getting enough sleep and “me” time?
  • Are you able to enjoy your favorite pastimes without watching the clock?
  • Do you often leave tasks unfinished or often need last-minute help? Is there one important project you have wanted to do for years but never found the time?

„Über diesen Titel“ kann sich auf eine andere Ausgabe dieses Titels beziehen.