Sheyne Rowley's Dream Baby Guide: Positive Routine Management for Happy Days and Peaceful Nights - Softcover

Rowley, Sheyne

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1741753252 ISBN 13: 9781741753257

Verlag: ALLEN & UNWIN, 2009

Inhaltsangabe

Becoming a parent is a wonderful feeling, but many parents struggle to find a routine that works for them and their newborn. Now, after years of working closely with literally thousands of families, early childhood expert Sheyne Rowley has developed a practical and sensible approach to caring and interacting with your baby aged 0-2 years. Focusing on the key areas of sleep, play, communication, and routine—with solutions that can be tailored to suit all needs—this is the ultimate guide to discovering the secrets to happy days and peaceful nights for parents everywhere.

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Sheyne Rowley is a respected and popular early childhood expert.

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Sheyne Rowley's Dream Baby Guide

Positive routine management for happy days and peaceful nights

By Sheyne Rowley

Allen & Unwin

Copyright © 2009 Sheyne Rowley
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-74175-325-7

Contents

Must read ..., 
Understanding my philosophy, 
Part 1 Communication, independence and play, 
1 The importance of communication, 
2 Be a respectful and loving guide, 
3 Step-by-step guide to communicating, 
4 The communication learning ladder, 
5 Tools for equipping their emotional tool kit, 
6 Learning to understand your child (to avoid tears and tantrums), 
7 The development of play, 
8 Getting organised for play, 
9 Independent playtime in the cot, 
10 Playing in, out and about, 
11 Nutrition and meal-time management, 
12 The basic elements of meal-time repair, 
13 SURE communication, independence and play, 
Part 2 Sleeping well, 
14 Sleep — the basics, 
15 Creating the right sleep environment, 
16 Solving sleep-time blues, 
17 SURE routines — daily routines to repair sleep, 
18 Settling, resettling and waking routines, 
19 Role playing for sleep routines, 
20 Crying interpretation, 
21 Supporting your baby when they cry, 
22 SURE sleep, 
Acknowledgements, 

CHAPTER 1

The importance of communication

People often think it is too challenging a task to communicate with a baby, but it's not when you have the right tools. And as I've said, and will say many times throughout this book, you cannot repair disrupted or poor sleep patterns and daytime behavioural problems until you can communicate well with, which means respectfully guide, your child during the day and night. I cannot stress enough how important good communication is to harmony when it comes to creating a balanced family environment. It enables you to have true and lasting understanding and co-operation in your home and, when there is stability within the family home, the natural bonuses are children who have deep, healthy restorative sleep, are not fussy at meal times, and can happily explore and play and therefore learn and grow.

Good communication makes up a substantial 85 per cent of my parenting philosophy, and there's no big secret to it. Good communication simply means being trustworthy, which becomes apparent to your child when you are predictable and consistent. Communication starts with a simple flow of predictable information that accompanies a set pattern of routine events at regular times of the day (events), such as meal times, nappy changing times or bath time. Being consistent means you always use the same style of a clear, well-defined language that your baby not only recognises but is also able to fully understand at all times. Using predictable and consistent ways of communicating with your baby throughout the day is the only way to reduce or eliminate tears significantly when teaching them a new routine around sleeping, eating, or playing independently.

By the time your little one has reached 18 months of age the use of words will become the more dominant portion of your conversations. At this stage of your child's development, if you have developed a good communication base with your child from an early age, other people may be surprised at how amazing the bond is between the two or three or all of you, and how easy you make parenting look!

What's your communication style right now?

Good communication always involves clear, repetitious language. It guides you and your child from one part of the day to the next; the ability to verbally lay down this path is called a 'governing' or 'parent-governed line of communication'. This is where you guide your child with routine words and phrases so they can happily follow instruction from you, and your little one feels in control of their day as these words and phrases are predictable for them and they move through their day with ease. This is a win-win situation. You make the decisions about key areas of your child's day based on your wisdom and desire to meet their best long-term needs but your child feels in control of it all. When this balance is not struck we see tears and tantrums from not just the baby, but from a tired and confused mum and dad too. As I see it, there are four typical styles of communication I encounter when I go into a house where parents are experiencing significant difficulties at sleep time or with daytime behaviour:

1. Basic communicators with no definition

Those who talk clearly about the upcoming events, and state a clear expectation of behaviour, but fail to follow through and define the statement; for example, 'Nearly time for a nappy change, Charlie'; then 'Time for a nappy change, lie down'; followed closely by the child rolling over when placed on the change table. The baby then spends the next few minutes trying to crawl away and crying each time he is laid down again. It means the statement by the parent, 'lie down', has not been defined, and Charlie has not been shown what it means to not try to get up. Charlie thinks 'lie down' means 'roll over' because that is what he is allowed to do each time that statement is made.

2. Delayed communicators

Those who do not talk clearly about upcoming events, or state expectations. This is generally because they do not think their baby will be able to understand them so they don't tend to use language consistently enough until their baby starts to talk to them. These mums and dads generally feel they have never been much for talking, and occasionally they state that they feel like they are being fake or insincere. These parents think through everything clearly in their head but rarely share the information with their baby or toddler. They will, however, say indirect statements like 'Come on, let's go!'

3. Nervous and uncertain communicators

They are the parents who turn every statement into a question. They either make everything a question automatically, without even thinking about it, or make it a question because they have predicted their baby or toddler will get upset at the statement and impending transition. Good examples of this are: 'Are you ready to lie down for nappy change?' 'Do you want some lunch?' 'Do you want to have a bath?' 'Should we go inside?' or 'Do you want to have a sleep?' This is not to say that there is anything wrong with asking questions; in fact you are encouraged to ask questions at appropriate times for at least one-third of a baby or toddler's waking day. It's just that you need to refrain from asking a question around an event that needs your guidance.

Often, when I ask these parents to make a clear statement, they attempt to do so but use a downward inflection, which makes the statement sound uncertain or like a question. If you know your baby or toddler has to come inside from the garden, or needs a nappy change, or has to sit down and have their dinner, or a bath, or to have a sleep so they can feel better and enjoy their day, then you will need to guide them confidently by saying it in a more appropriate way, like 'It's time for a sleep / to have lunch / to go inside / to have your nappy changed'. That full stop is symbolically important here.

Using predictable and consistent ways of communicating with your baby throughout the day is the only way to reduce or eliminate tears significantly when teaching them a new routine around sleeping, eating, or playing independently.

4. Confusing communicators

Now,...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: ALLEN & UNWIN
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2009
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1741753252
• ISBN 13: 9781741753257
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 512
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Arena Verlag GmbH; www.arena-verlag.de; ; Rottendorfer Str. 16; Würzburg ; Bayern; 97074; Deutschland