Two old ladies go to the zoo and see an angry male elephant with a huge erection. The elephant is rampaging round the enclosure and one of the old ladies says, `Gracious, d'you think he'll charge?' The other old lady looks at the erection and says, `Well, yes - I think he'd be entitled to!' Too rude for prudes and following in the bestselling tradition of 'The Ultimate Book of Rude and Politically Incorrect Jokes', here is a fantastic collection of over 1,000 of the filthiest - and funniest - jokes ever. Ever wondered what Cinderella did when she got to the ball (she choked) or why a woman is like a condom (both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick); even, what do you call an adolescent rabbit? (A pubic hare.) Politically unacceptable perhaps, but how else would you know what to call a sheep tied to a Welsh lamp post? (A leisure centre.)
Mike Haskins (aka Mike Oxbent) is a comedy writer for TV and radio. He's one of the few people to have written for Steve Coogan, 'Smack the Pony', Simon Pegg, 'Monkey Dust'; also Little & Large and Christopher Biggins. For the past few years he has written exclusively for Griff Rhys Jones. He is currently working on a radio series featuring Johnny Vegas and Brian Eno. Stephen Arnott (Harry P. Ness) has written for radio, TV and magazines.
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