Why Don't You Understand?: Improve Family Communication with the 4 Thinking Styles - Softcover

Weller, Susan Leonard

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1884734685 ISBN 13: 9781884734687

Verlag: Parenting Press,U.S., 2009

Inhaltsangabe

Wonder why you&;re in sync with some people and at odds with others? Frustrated by differences and conflicts that keep getting worse instead of better? Many squabbles at home and at work are due to variations in how our brains are naturally wired. Although there is new research about brain development, few people are applying it to their relationships. In Why Don&;t You Understand? Improve Family Relationships with the 4 Thinking Styles you&;ll discover how to get along better with your partner, children, extended family and colleagues. This 144-page book is packed with real-life scenarios, charts with easy applications and specific do&;s and don&;ts to strengthen all of your relationships. 

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Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

Susie Leonard Weller is a retired adjunct faculty member from the Community Colleges of Spokane. She has 24 years experience of teaching and consulting with staff and parents at 25 Head Start and Early Childhood Learning Centers. She&;s married with two adult children. Susie continues to write and to facilitate a wide variety of workshops.

Elizabeth Wagele is a cartoonist, an artist, and the author of Finding the Birthday Cake: Helping Children Raise Their Self-Esteem and The Happy Introvert: A Wild and Crazy Guide for Celebrating Your True Self.

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Why Don't You Understand?

Improve Family Communication with the 4 Thinking Styles

By Susie Leonard Weller, Elizabeth Wagele

Parenting Press, Inc.

Copyright © 2009 Parenting Press, Inc.
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-884734-68-7

Contents

Preface, 
1. Strengthen Your Parenting with Whole Brain Thinking, 
2. Support Happier Children with Peaceful Parents, 
3. Teach Discipline and Life Skills, 
4. Explore How Your Child Learns Best, 
5. Speak So Others Will Understand You, 
6. Make Decisions to Strengthen Your Relationships, 
7. Respect How Different Thinking Styles Manage Stress, 
8. Nurture Effective Family Communication, 
9. Celebrate Diversity, 
Conclusion, 
Appendix: Brain Research, 

CHAPTER 1

Strengthen Your Parenting with Whole Brain ®Thinking

Are you tired of arguing with your partner about who's too tough or soft on the kids? Do your children play "Divide and Conquer" because they know which parent is more lenient? While you're cooking and cleaning, do you resent the other parent relaxing and playing with the kids? Is one parent passive and detached, while the other is screaming with frustration?

Brain Discovery

Many family squabbles are linked to biological differences in how our brains are wired.

Being a parent is the toughest job you'll ever love! Some days are more enjoyable than others. What works with one person often doesn't apply to another. Most parents have great intentions to provide the best environment for their family, but differences of opinion arise about which is the best way.

Even the recommendations of parenting experts swing from one extreme to another:

• "Hold firm and use logical consequences."

• "Be responsive to your children's emotional needs."

• "Spend time playing with your children, encouraging them to explore new things."

• "Maintain a consistent routine and structure so that children know what to expect."

The reality is all of these admonitions are valid, because there's more than one way to raise your child. In fact, there are four major thinking styles that shape how you parent and all are legitimate and represented in the recommendations above.

Meet the Whole Brain® Thinking Styles

Researchers have discovered that each of the two brain hemispheres is divided by natural fissures. Smaller lobes within the hemispheres create four major divisions of cerebral tissue. You've probably heard of left or right brain thinking. In addition, people use an intellectual or an instinctual approach to how they make decisions.

Ned Herrmann, developer of the Whole Brain model, describes the brain as being like a house with four rooms. The two upstairs rooms concentrate on problem solving or seeking new solutions. These are called the Logical and Creative thinking styles. The two downstairs rooms focus on handling everyday realities for survival. They are called the Practical and Relational thinking styles. Although parents might enjoy spending time in some rooms more than others, parents using Whole Brain® thinking can adapt their style to the needs of the moment whenever necessary.

Looking from top to bottom in the drawing above, the Logical and Practical styles are left brain. The Creative and Relational styles are right brain.

Looking from side to side, the Logical and Creative styles emphasize intellect. The Practical and Relational styles emphasize instinct.

Both men and women use all four Whole Brain thinking styles. The examples on page 10 show some characteristics of each style.

A Whole Brain approach to parenting uses all four thinking styles whenever they're needed. Most parents consistently use only two of the four styles. "Half brain" parenting dismisses the other two styles as invalid or is unaware of them.

Review the dialogue in the Preface with the husband, daughter, and wife. Apply your new knowledge of thinking styles to their argument. Can you guess which styles the dad and mom prefer, respectively? In this case, the dad blends the styles of Logical Leon and Practical Pedro. The mom integrates the qualities of Relational Rachel and Creative Chloe. In other couples, the roles might be reversed or have other combinations.

People of opposite styles are often attracted to each other because diversity leads to a complete brain between them. Together, opposites create a balanced perspective. Logical Leon and Relational Rachel's daughter would benefit by learning from all four parenting styles.

She would learn from the Logical Parent how to:

• Be responsible: fix her car

• Achieve her goals: get good grades in school

From the Practical Parent she would learn how to:

• Follow through: complete her chores and homework

• Manage her time: balance competing priorities

From the Relational Parent she would learn how to:

• Be flexible: have fun at the game and do her work

• Negotiate: know how and who to talk to in order to get what she wants

From the Creative Parent she would learn how to:

• Take time for fun: appreciate developing new hobbies

• Discover creative solutions: brainstorm mutually satisfying alternatives

Parents learn to apply the "Three Ps of Whole Brain Parenting" by:

• Providing balanced parenting that includes structure with nurture, as well as play with problem solving.

• Protecting family members from constant stress: a stressed brain is overly sensitive to being controlled by emotions rather than higher thinking.

• Promoting habits that nurture Whole Brain creativity and encourage family fun.

What's Your Whole Brain® Thinking Style?

Using Whole Brain thinking is like looking at a puzzle and discovering how all the pieces fit together. Begin by identifying your thinking style and those of your partner, children, friends, and co-workers.

Adapted from the Whole Brain model with permission from Herrmann International

The following informal quiz will provide a quick indication of your thinking style preferences. For a more thorough, validated assessment based on the Whole Brain model, contact Herrmann International, listed in the Resources section on page 21.

Take a Thinking Style Quiz

After reading each statement, circle the letter of the response that best describes you. There are no right or wrong answers. Choose your preferences, not just what you're good at doing.

1. When you were a child, what did you like to do?

A. Take things apart

B. Organize things

C. Play with others

D. Make up own games

2. What was your favorite subject in school?

A. Math

B. History

C. Drama

D. Art

3. How did you spend your time at school?

A. Focused on getting good grades or other achievements

B. Studied hard and followed the rules

C. Socialized with friends

D. Daydreamed a lot

4. How would your friends describe you when you were in school?

A. Competitive or a natural leader

B. Hard worker

C. Helpful

D. Free Spirit or Rebel

5. As a child, how did your maintain your bedroom?

A. Precisely arranged, with any awards prominently displayed

B. Tidy, with clothes put away in drawers and closets

C. Walls decorated with photos and...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: Parenting Press,U.S.
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2009
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1884734685
• ISBN 13: 9781884734687
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Zeichner: Wagele Elizabeth
• Anzahl der Seiten: 144
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar