Safe Connections: A Parent's Guide to Protecting Young Teens from Sexual Exploitation - Softcover

Wurtele, Sandy K.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1936903008 ISBN 13: 9781936903009

Verlag: PARENTING PR INC, 2011

Inhaltsangabe

Scared about sexting? Online predators? Date rape? Child sexual abuse expert Sandy Wurtele s second book on abuse and exploitation explains how children approaching puberty and those in their early teens may be vulnerable, and she provides valuable recommendations for parents and other adults who want to keep kids safe. Ideal for safety curricula in schools and homes, this book also discusses how to ensure your child is not becoming an abuser and how to help adolescents who have been exploited.

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Sexual abuse of children was just a dirty little secret when Sandy Wurtele was growing up in small town Nebraska. After a B.A. at the University of Nebraska, and an M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology at the University of Alabama, Wurtele found herself in 1983 teaching at Washington State University, where she found that a behavioral skills training program was more effective in teaching kids about sexual abuse prevention than a film on the subject. Working with elementary schools in two nearby towns, Wurtele began evaluating different ways of teaching school-age children to recognize and resist inappropriate requests. In 1988, she moved to the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs, where she offered programs on body safety to parents and children at local preschools and in Head Start classrooms. While at UCCS, Wurtele has also been able to survey hundreds of molesters to determine what childhood experiences can prompt sexually offending behavior and has learned how offenders typically groom children. Wurtele is also author of In Harm's Way: A Parent s Guide to Protecting Young Children from Sexual Abuse, also available from Parenting Press.

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Concerned about keeping your young teen safe?It was much easier to protect our children from sexual harm when they were small and underfoot. Now that they're older, and making connections with others outside the home, what new information do we need to safeguard them from abuse?Sandy K. Wurtele offers wisdom on behalf of 10- to 15-year-olds in her latest book for parents on the subject of abuse prevention. Children in this age range present a unique challenge to parents who want the richest, safest adolescent experience for their kids. That challenge is the combination of developing sexuality and drive for independence-without enough experience or brain development to always make good decisions.To keep your yon teen as safe as you can from abuse: Learn what makes these kids particularly vulnerable to sexual exploitation. Teach them how to recognize if your teen is the abuser and how to get help for him or her. Learn to recognize if your teen is the abuser and how to get help for him or her. teach your child about the dangers of sexting and exploitation by online predators and how to avoid both.While it might scare you to think about these dangers, knowledge can equip you and your teenager with the ability to avoid, or deal with, these problems. This will give you and your child confidence in meeting the challenges of this new developmental stage.Sandy K. Wurtele, professor of psychology at the University of Colorado, specializes in research toward the prevention of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA). To that end, she speaks at conferences and gives workshops all over the world. She is an advisor to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Her first book in this series is Out of Harm's Way: A Parent's Guide to Protecting Young Children from Sexual Abuse.

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Safe Connections

A Parent's Guide to Protecting Young Teens from Sexual Exploitation

By Sandy K. Wurtele

Parenting Press, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 Parenting Press, Inc.
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-936903-00-9

Contents

Introduction, 
ONE What Makes Teens Vulnerable to Sexual Exploitation?, 
TWO A Parent's Nightmare: When Your Teen Is Sexually Abused, 
THREE Help Your Teen Make Safe Online Connections, 
FOUR When Teens Offend, 
FIVE Raising Sexually Respectful Teens in a Sexually Disrespectful World, 
Index, 

CHAPTER 1

What Makes Teens Vulnerable to Sexual Exploitation?

Adolescence is a time of many changes. Teens look, think, and act differently as they transform from children to adults. This chapter will briefly describe the physical changes happening in their bodies and brains during puberty so that you can understand why some teens find themselves in harmful situations.

Puberty 101

During puberty, kids' bodies don't simply grow; they morph. Within a few years, the physical changes turn boys into men and girls into women. Girls begin changing first, usually starting around age 10, with boys following one to two years later.

Under the influence of the sex hormones, girls' breasts develop and hips widen and they begin to menstruate around age 12. In boys, the testes and penis enlarge, chests expand, shoulders broaden, voices deepen (with the occasional squeak!), and the body takes on a muscular frame. Boys have their first ejaculation around age 13.

For both boys and girls, the biological and physical changes of puberty lead to a flood of emotions, most noticeably a new interest in romantic relationships and sex. Around age 10, both sexes begin to have sexual thoughts and feelings and attractions to others. Sex now seems exciting, fun, and very interesting.

Everyone Notices!

These changes signal to the youths and others that they are becoming sexually mature. No longer perceived as children, we treat teens differently when they begin to look like adults. An adolescent girl's emerging sexuality may become a source of concern for parents who sometimes respond by placing restrictions on her freedom. In contrast, parents often react to these changes in their sons by giving them more independence and freedom. Alarmingly, adults who are attracted to young developing bodies notice these changes too.

No Brakes!

Like their bodies, teenagers' brains are in the midst of huge growth spurts, especially in the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for resisting impulses, planning ahead, problem solving, and understanding consequences of one's actions. These cognitive changes unfold slowly, and continue to mature long after puberty is over. In fact, this part of the brain isn't fully developed until the early twenties. This means that teenagers' impulses and emotions develop several years before their abilities to control them.

During adolescence, the prefrontal cortex is in constant battle with the limbic system, the part of the brain that controls the raw emotions, including sex drive and sensation seeking. Those sex hormones running rampant in your adolescent's bloodstream fuel the limbic system and send it into overdrive, at the same time that their "brakes" (prefrontal cortex) aren't working. Your young teen's body is like an Indy 500 race car — turbo-charged engine, fueled by pedal-to-the-metal hormones, but racing without a skilled driver or a working set of brakes.

An overactive limbic system explains why teens seek out (usually with their friends) exciting and intense experiences, like the Dangerous Ds — Drinking, Driving, and Drugs. But why do they take sexual risks? Because they're on a quest — searching for self-identity; in particular, their own sexual identity.

Search for Sexual Identity

Adolescence is a time when identity issues — achieving a sense of self — are most crucial to development. During the teen years young people explore choices in love, work, and religious and political ideology. They strive to discover their identities and roles in life, and to answer the very important developmental question, "Who am I, apart from my parents?" They also struggle with the narrower question, "Who am I as a sexual person?" A sexual identity is an intrinsic part of a young person's self-definition. Sexual identity includes recognizing one's sexual preference — heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual — and a sense of one's attractiveness to others.

Romantic relationships provide many benefits for teens. First and foremost, teens date for fun and recreation. Dating also makes teens more popular with their peers. Romantic partners provide acceptance, companionship, and emotional comfort to weather the storm of adolescence. Dating helps teens explore their sexual identity and prepares them for adult romantic relationships. Through sexual relationships, teens learn how to manage physical and emotional intimacy.

Parenting Tips

1. Prepare yourself and your child for the changes. As they approach adolescence, tweens need to know about all the ways their bodies will change — physically, emotionally, spiritually, and cognitively. With teens maturing earlier compared to decades ago, it's important to begin these discussions early — at least by age 10. Some children need to be prepared even earlier, depending on their rate of development. There are plenty of great books and Web sites that can inform you and your teen.

2. Communicate your values. When you talk about their developing sexuality, share your values — those life principles that are important to you. Your values function as voices in their heads that help your teens make sexual decisions when you're not there. You might emphasize values such as staying safe, respecting yourself and others, appreciating personal boundaries (your own and others'), and avoiding sexual behaviors that endanger oneself or exploit others.

3. Be an "ask-able" parent. Encourage your children to come to you with questions or concerns. Model how to problem solve.

CHAPTER 2

A Parent's Nightmare: When Your Teen Is Sexually Abused

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall

Taylor Swift, "Fifteen"

As we discussed in chapter 1, the tween and early teen years bring a new interest in romantic relationships and sex. Unfortunately, some adults exploit teens' sexual curiosity and normal needs for affection, intimacy, and companionship. So that parents are informed about this type of exploitation, chapter 2 covers this topic in some detail.

How Often Does It Happen?

There is very limited research on how often adults sexually abuse teens. One national survey of students in grades 7 to 12 found that ten percent of girls and two percent of boys reported that adults had had sex with them.

Who Are the Abusers?

The biggest myth about childhood sexual abuse is that molesters are strangers. Instead, in almost all cases — ninety percent — the offender is someone the teen knows, including relatives, friends of the family, neighbors, and other adults who are in positions of authority. Authority figures can include members of the clergy, medical or mental health professionals, coaches, teachers, and...

Details zur Ausgabe

• Verlag: PARENTING PR INC
• Erscheinungsdatum: 2011
• Sprache: Englisch
• ISBN 10: 1936903008
• ISBN 13: 9781936903009
• Einband: Taschenbuch
• Anzahl der Seiten: 31
• Kontakt zum Hersteller: Nicht verfügbar
• Verantwortliche Person: Nicht verfügbar