I first met Florida Man in the fall of 2019. We shared a bus ride from Walton County, Florida, which is all the way at the end of the panhandle, to Miami-Dade County, the lowest point of the state before you hit the chain of islands known as the Florida Keys. He would tell me stories about his adventures in each county as we would drive through that county, regaling me with what I can only call improbable and impossible adventures. This is his story. Being a Faux-Journalist, I immediately understood the importance of these stories, as they describe a life that can only be defined as incredible, and worthy of an autobiography. There are 67 counties in Florida, and he had outstanding warrants in 62 of them. Backed up by the actual headlines ripped from newspapers all over the word, this is his autobiography, as dictated to me.
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