CHAPTER 1
January
National Mentoring Month
January 1
Affirmation: Today I will think joyous, balanced, and connected thoughts.
Today is the first day of Always Balanced and Connected. Am I always balanced and connected? Honestly, no. I do, however, strive to balance my emotions, thoughts, and feelings and stay connected to the positive, loving people, places, and things in my life that work for my good.
I maintain balance as much as possible each day, because I have to. We all have to. When our lives are out of balance, we suffer.
You may not be aware that your life is out of balance. You may not even realize why you're suffering. The truth is, when something in your life isn't where it needs it to be, your thoughts, feelings, and actions are no longer authentic. You're not being true to yourself.
I practice balance in my life, because I have no alternative. I experience imbalance in my life from time to time, and it doesn't work for me.
I have no easy answers for staying in the moment and doing my best. I do, however, have knowledge of and appreciation for those who find themselves feeling not quite right; unable to be the person they know they really are.
Knowing yourself and being truly honest aren't easy tasks. They take deep self-exploration, the desire to let go of what's not working, and faith in yourself, others, and the world around you. They take trust, knowledge, openness, and even a willingness to fail.
January 2
Affirmation: Today I will prepare for what I want to do next.
Living your life in the present is the key to happiness. Strive to be happy with what you have now and thankful that you've been blessed. Try not to look back, and try not to project into the future. Stay in the moment. Take everything one day at a time. "Bloom where you're planted" (Mary Engelbreit).
But what about your dreams, goals, and aspirations? What about the triumphs and mistakes you've made in the past? Don't they count? Learn from your past, but don't get stuck in it. Plan for the future, but don't live for it.
Be prepared, and be ambitious. Know what's required, and be certain to have at your disposal what it takes to get to where you want to be. Goals and objectives are the keys to success. What is it that you want to do, and what do you have to do to get there?
When you live your life your way, you live an authentic life, a life designed specifically for you. Give yourself time, and be patient while working, changing, and growing. Don't expect progress to just show up, and don't think that your situation will always be the same.
Have faith that the future holds many hopes, dreams, and possibilities for you. Regret means feeling sad, angry, or disappointed. Don't let that be an option. Go forward in your life. Take calculated risks. This is your year to shine.
January 3
Affirmation: Today I will recognize the conformity in my life.
It takes courage to go against popular belief. It takes courage to stand up for equality or speak up against violence. It takes courage to speak your truth when it's not socially acceptable to do so.
You conform in more ways than you realize. Cowardice in conformity is when you do what's expected of you even though it goes against what you hold sacred. Conformity is at its peak when you follow along, doing what's expected of you simply because that's the way it's always been.
Be aware of what's important to you personally. Always be true to your own values and passions. Know your limitations, and know when you're willing to expand your boundaries. Be authentic, and live out loud. Future generations are counting on you.
January 4
Affirmation: Today I will acknowledge that I often say and do things I think others want me to.
Conflicts, confusion, and misunderstandings are unnecessary when you're true to yourself. When you do or say what other people want or expect you to, you don't represent what's true and real about yourself.
When you act the way you think people want you to act, you become a people pleaser. To be a true people pleaser, you have to try to please everyone all the time. If you have a modicum of intelligence, you know this isn't possible. But to a true people pleaser, it's vital.
The need to be liked and loved is a coping mechanism. Pleasing people and making them happy speaks to the need to have everyone like you. It means you care about what others think of you. It's a way of life for many. Needing everyone to like you is a means of suppressing fear, pain, and anxiety. If anyone really knew me, they wouldn't like me. It's a quest to never disappoint, upset, or anger anyone at all costs.
Does this ring true for you or someone you love? The goal of a people pleaser is to never, under any circumstances, give anyone cause to not like you. Not only is it impossible for everyone to like you, it's inauthentic and emotionally draining.
The need to please everyone causes anger, resentment, and inner turmoil. You're not bringing to life anything that's uniquely you. Your own thoughts and likes are suppressed and never see the light of day. What you were put on this planet to accomplish or contribute may never manifest. You end up living a less-than-authentic life. You end up living someone else's life. Or worse, you end up living everybody else's life, whether it's good or bad.
January 5
Affirmation: Today I will take the helpful ideas of others to heart for my own good.
Do you reject or have you given up on anything that has to do with religion, spirituality, or energy outside yourself? Have you been jaded by a personal or family history with your faith? Is there a part of you that you're unable or unwilling to get in touch with — your spirit or your soul perhaps?
Some people may mistakenly think that faith or spirituality is about religion, but faith allows you to believe that things will work out without your having to control everything. Let go and surrender to a will greater than yourself. Practicing your faith encourages and teaches you how to be the best person you can be.
Live simply and with your best intention for yourself and others. That's living spiritually. That's living a faith-based life — living a life where love outweighs hatred. There's no need to worry. Life is filled with possibilities. Be open-minded and openhearted.
January 6
Affirmation: Today I will replace all negative thoughts with a different, more enlightened viewpoint.
How easy is it for you to think badly about someone? How easy is it to be negative when you've been hurt over and over again? Do you choose to be unhappy because being happy is just too much work? When I ask a child, "Is it easier to act badly or to act well?" he or she inevitably responds, "It's easier to act well!"
You know that with wisdom and experience, those sentiments can change, and it becomes much easier to act badly at times. In fact, it's hard to act well.
We all act poorly to differing degrees. Saying that someone is stupid is acting badly. Eating an entire bag of cookies is a poor choice. Acting badly is choosing to do wrong and failing to do right.
Notice I say "acting" badly. You're not bad; the choices you make are bad.
It's easy to put people down, judge them, or...
