My Angels and Me is written for all, but particularly for women considering marriage and children. This true story is about the events that occurred during a challenging chapter in Inez McPadden's life that began with her own marriage and only recently concluded some eight years and two sons later. As she worked through that challenging chapter, reluctantly guided by her guardian angel, she found the clarity she had long craved. "This book was written from the heart and meant for the soul! She is indeed convincing" -Rick Johnson Professional Editor and Author

My Angels and Me

By Inez Mc Padden

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2013 Inez Mc Padden
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-6627-6

Contents

Dedication...........................................ixAcknowledgements.....................................xiForeword.............................................xiiiPreface..............................................xvIntroduction.........................................xixHome at Last.........................................1Purpose and Foster Care..............................5Miracles do Happen...................................9More Excitement......................................14One Step Forward, Two Steps Back.....................25Stage 2: St. Peter's Ward............................32Nurse Betty..........................................40Finally Home Again...................................48Epilogue.............................................53

Chapter One

Home at Last

It was heaven to get home to my own bed. Fionn slept all day the first day. After that, I thought he would never sleep again. God it was so tough! I'll never forget it. He was colicky and could cry all day.

Francis was gone at 6 a.m. every morning to beat the traffic and then not home until 7:30 or 8 p.m., which made it hard on me, but it was hard on him too. I asked myself, How on earth does a working mum go to work after being up all night with a baby?

I started to really think about our future and what would be the best scenario for Fionn. We had discussed selling our current home, and building a new home where we had grown up. That way I'd be able to take care of Fionn full time and he wouldn't have to be put in a crèche (nursery). We had always said that if we were going to have kids we would not be handing them over to someone else to raise.

I remember seeing a woman on the train in the morning on her way to the crèche with her baby, who was tiny and fast asleep. I pitied the baby, having to be left with strangers. I thought a mum must have to grow a heart of steel to cope with handing her baby over to strangers so early in its life.

Of course, that is not to say that it was any easier on the doting mum. The baby was in a pouch on her tummy all snug and warm and she was smiling adoringly at him.

One thing about becoming a parent is that you grow up overnight. I definitely grew an identity quickly, which is a necessary component of motherhood. Let's face it, if you don't have a strong sense of who you are and the values you have, how can you give your child a strong sense of self?

When I was growing up in the 80s and 90s, we were told what to think, not how to think. So it's no surprise that I didn't know who I was. When you meet someone who knows who they are, you immediately became aware of it and want that for yourself. When you're talking with someone who knows what they stand for, there is no pretence or disguise.

On the other hand, there are people who basically live their lives to be acceptable to the neighbors, their envied associates, friends, or those who pretend to be martyrs.

I had a substantial amount saved and, with the profit we'd make if we sold our home, we figured we could build a new home and be mortgage free. We had the real estate agent come to our house within a few months of Fionn's birth and it sold very quickly thereafter.

We decided to rent close to our building location, so Francis could be close to where we were building and do a lot of the work himself. We were so fortunate to be able to do that, and made the same amount in profit that we had actually paid for the house even after everything was paid back to the bank. We sold at the peak of the boom and never looked back. We knew the housing market was on the way down. I could feel it in my bones.

I definitely believe my guardian angel was guiding us through the sale of our house. If we hadn't sold it when we did there is no way we would have sold it at all, even a few weeks down the line. That was only January, 2007, but the cracks in Ireland's Celtic Tiger economy were totally evident.

I couldn't bear the thought of having to stay in my current location which had a big mortgage, and put my baby in a crèche for twelve hours a day. I would rather not have had him. I believe that when parents work full time and have kids, both miss out. Careers come and go and can be picked up decade after decade, but you get only one chance with your children. While this is my belief, I do not judge other parents, for whatever they choose is right for their family.

I know there are plenty of mums who'd love to be able to stay home full time but don't feel they have a choice in the matter and have to work. All I say to them is, when you feel like you have no choice and life is outright tough, ask God for help and be clear about the help you need. If it's financial help that will enable you to stay home, or whatever it is, ask! And have faith he will get your guardian angel on the case.

Staying home with Fionn was the best gut feeling I ever heeded. I never doubted it was the best thing for him and for my own emotional wellbeing. We have such a close bond. I can read his mind. I know him inside out and upside down. He's very secure and confident in himself and never went through the "terrible twos" or threes. I found that just being with him and talking to him about right and wrong worked very well.

Basically, to get him this far, now aged six, all I needed to do to make him a little gentleman was to give him my time. Because he is growing up so fast I'm grateful for all the time we've spent together and hope, as he matures more every day, that he will continue to keep me close. I give thanks every day that I am able to look after him full time.

I could have spent all day chatting to Fionn and never tire of his hilarious dialogue. I would explain things to him and he would repeat it back to me in a really articulate way that was beyond his years. He completes me!

Purpose and Foster Care

Fionn was nearly two when we decided to have another baby, but as nothing was happening we gave up and decided to foster.

In the meantime, I had also started reading spiritual books and things were really starting to become clear for me. Lorna Byrnes's book, Angels in My Hair, affected me deeply. I started to become obsessed with my "life's purpose" after reading it and was afraid I wasn't doing what I was meant to be doing on this earth.

I did a counseling course through the National Counseling Institute of Ireland in Limerick and really enjoyed it. Then I saw a course advertised entitled "Addictions Studies and Counseling" and thought it sounded interesting so I spent a year at that, and loved it too! I received distinctions in both courses so was really thinking I was meant to be in the helping professions. I even thought that maybe I should look into becoming a psychotherapist.

Women are expected to be so much these days: wives, mothers, cooks, cleaners, and teachers, and to look like glamour models all the while. It's crazy!

Yet, in my heart, I kept getting the message that concentrating on Fionn was all I needed to be doing. It was, after all, the most important job anyone could be doing. And Francis always said that anyone who has kids and is working full time is missing them grow. "And that's a dog's life!"

One common thread among all mothers whether you choose to keep your career or not is that we all do the best we can for our children. Whatever choice you come to, don't feel guilty, as we are not meant to walk the same path in life. If...