Awkward Moments (Not Found in Your Average) Children's Bible - Volume #1

How well do you know the Good Book? Written by a retired ministry leader, this book combines actual Bible verses with more than 30 whimsical original illustrations and commentaries to encourage readers (from all walks of faith) to think about how the Bible shapes our culture as Christianity continues to evolve.What began as a private online gag among interfaith friends quickly grew into a #1 Amazon Bestseller on its first day of sales - enjoyed by fundamentalist Christians and militant atheists alike!

BEWARE - NOT FOR KIDS! This is definitely not your average children's Bible! If you thought the bestselling parody "Go The F**k To Sleep" was inappropriate for story-time with kids, you haven't seen anything yet! Leave it to the Bible! However, this book is not a satire, but a real look into some of the more troubling passages from both the Old Testament and the New Testament - including the words and teachings of Jesus Christ, himself!

• Unicorn Murders
• Genocidal Behavior
• Foreskins Fetishes
• Boiled Babies
• Missing Messiah
• Selling Daughters
• Cannibalism Club
• Genetic Breakthroughs
• Demonic Bacon
• Gagged Women
• Jihad Jesus
• Historical manipulation of the Bible
• And much more!

Let's be honest - there are some things in the Good Book that are just... awkward! There are verses we'd like to forget or that have been changed throughout the centuries. There are many verses you've never heard before in church, let alone seen in your average children's Bible! Not to mention the verses that have been added over the centuries! The Awkward Moments Children's Bible is much more than an irreverent book for your coffee table! Christian readers, agnostics and atheists will find themselves laughing out loud while being encouraged to think about the Bible and Christianity in a new way.

Most people were raised in the religion chosen by their family. Young children learn a few Bible stories taken out of context and accept them without question. (On what basis could they possibly question their parents or church leaders?) After decades of repetition and tradition, it's understandable how we might put our beliefs on auto-pilot and just nod as a pastor repeats bizarre stories that are already familiar to us. It's no wonder that recent studies show an incredible lack of Biblical knowledge among Christians - 55% unable to even name the four Gospels of the New Testament - the very foundation of Christianity!

This book takes a much different tone than other authors who are critical of the Bible and Christianity. It is not as academic or dry as Bart Ehrman or Richard Carrier. It is not as arrogant or condescending as some find Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens or as blustery as many accuse Sam Harris or Daniel Dennett. Instead, Horus Gilgamesh takes the approach, "Let's assume that it's all true and work backwards from there." In doing so, the author directly challenges many of today's Christian leaders from Joel Osteen and Pat Robertson to Joyce Meyer and Ken Ham. This book is as much a critique on the evolution of Christian culture as it is about the history of the Bible.

The goal of this mock Children's book is not to do mock a reader's faith, but to encourage critical thinking! Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children's Bible encourages readers to really understand what is in their Bibles and think for themselves about the context of Biblical teaching. The book will hopefully challenge Christian readers to reflect on how religion continues to shape the lives and culture of future generations. If readers happen to laugh out loud and enjoy the interactive puzzles and games in the mean time - it's just an added bonus!

HORUS GILGAMESH was raised Catholic before being "born again" in college when he began following a calling toward full-time ministry. Early on, his efforts were focused on youth evangelism and Biblical literacy around the world. When he was on a missions trip to Africa, a fearless young boy approached, pleading, "Chakula? Maji?"- the Swahili words for "food" and "water." Unfortunately, Horus had no food or water to offer the poor child - only Bibles. A few days later, Horus met a humanitarian relief worker from Spain who shared five simple words of wisdom that would change his life forever - "Empty stomachs have no ears." Horus realized that he was not meeting the very real needs of the people he was hoping to help - he was struggling to finding a purpose in his own life, as a self righteous servant of his Creator. To many Christians, the most important gift you could ever give to a man is a chance at eternal life through the Gospel of Jesus Christ - the Living Water. But what about this life? There are billions who would give anything for a drink of regular old H2O.