Fatherhood Defined

"As fathers, we need to be involved in our children's lives not just when it's convenient or easy, and not just when they're doing well — but when it's difficult and thankless, and they're struggling. That is when they need us most."

President Barack Obama, 2009

According to the U.S. Census Bureau (2009) sixty-four percent of African American children live in homes in which a father is not present. The National Fatherhood Initiative was developed to facilitate and encourage responsible fatherhood. Many fathers are not engaged in the day to day activities of their children. Nevertheless, fathers play a crucial role in the lives of their children through their contributions of human, social, and financial capital. Since becoming President in 2008, Barack Obama has consistently promoted the importance of father involvement. The President has called on men to play an active role in the lives of their children. Recognizing that families in vulnerable communities are at a greater risk for father absence, President Obama has called on these men to remain present in the lives of their children. As a resident and involved father, President Obama serves as an example that fathers can be present in the lives of their children. As President Obama delivered his Father's Day church message in 2008, wife Michelle and daughters Malia and Sasha sat nearby in the pew. During his massage, Obama told of how his own father abandoned him. His experience growing up without his biological father, made him determined to break the cycle and be there for his children.

We know that positive images of black fathers are rarely displayed on television, in film, or even in newspapers -- though there are men that are raising their children as all fathers should. If you look closely, you will see men at the barbershop with their son. If you look closely, you will see a father and his child in a restaurant in the midst of a deep conversation. If you look closely, you will see fathers taking their sons to football practice and standing on the sidelines at the football games. If you look closely, you will even see fathers walking into a movie theater with their child to catch a Saturday matinee. You will have to look closely to notice those images. The reason that you have to look closely is because they are very few of those scenes around you at any given time or date.

Despite the enormous progress into the middle class that African Americans have made in the last 40 years, more than half of all black children live in fatherless households -- a devastating number by any measure. So who could argue with Obama's call for examination, for rising above the struggle, for restoring the framework for family? The largest geographic area of sustained fatherlessness contains the rural, largely black poor across Arkansas, Mississippi and Louisiana, tributaries of broken homes running 400 miles along the Mississippi River from Memphis, Tenn., where in some neighborhoods 82 percent of children live with their mothers alone, to Baton Rouge, La., where less than 20% of children have both parents at home.

Not only are fathers critical to the healthy development of all Children, but the relationship between father involvement and the positive development of boys is also clear. Howard and colleagues found that father involvement is associated with increased math and reading scores in African American males compared to African American girls. Apparently, boys need their fathers in their lives to succeed in more areas than their gender development.

Research on fathers clearly demonstrates the significance of positive father involvement. What does it mean to be a positively involved father? According to Pleck, positive paternal involvement means "high engagement, accessibility, and responsibility." Likewise, father involvement means that a father spends quality time with his children all the while sending a clear message to the children that he values the relationship. Active parental involvement on the part of fathers also teaches children the value of commitment, consistency and responsibility. In general, research states that children who have positively involved fathers tend to do better socially, emotionally, and academically than children whose fathers are not positively involved.

I conducted interviews with three African American men to explore their perspective of fatherhood.

Good Fathering

Good fathering consists of a few different elements that enable secure parental relationships and healthy development for the child. It's not enough to just provide financially for the child or to just show up physically, fathering requires a level of commitment that encompasses various elements. It includes involvement with the child, nurturing behavior, responsibility and consistency in these areas.

Good fathering consists of involvement in the life or lives of a child. Involvement may consist of coaching a child's football team, helping a child with their math homework, going to eat fast food together, assisting with potty training, reading to a child, tucking a child in at night, taking a child to the mall, playing with a child, or simply being accessible. Children's lives provide fathers numerous opportunities for involvement.

Good fathering consists of consistency. Responsible fatherhood is rooted in consistency and trust. Responsible fathers can build a trusting relationship with their children by providing consistent encouragement, nurturing, feedback and a sense of protection. A consistent father will prove to his children that he is available in the good and bad times, and it is this reliability that serves as the foundation for the child's self-esteem.

Good fathering consists of nurturing. A male nurturing parent is a man who spends attentive, loving, extended time with his child or children daily, connecting with them emotionally, seeing the world through their eyes, teaching them, and feeling, at times, the delight that selfless nurturing can give. Fathers also play a critical role in the nurturing of their children by providing reliable, responsible and loving care that meets their emotional and social needs.

Good fathering consists of responsibility. Responsible fathers know their children. They show a genuine interest in the child's physical, emotional and psychological needs. This type of responsibility also requires active involvement on the part of the father starting at birth. Good fathers take time out of their busy schedules to get to know their children.

Not all fathers are created equal. If you live with or are married to the father of your child or children, then parenting may be an issue. If you don't live with, were married to, or were never married to the father, then co-parenting is the issue that might be a concern. The parenting style of choice for one father may not be the parenting style of another father.

We've all seen different types of fathers in our lives. We've seen dad's range from good to great, old to young and from rich to poor. However, there are universal criteria that we can use to categorize all types of fathers.

Many of the standards that we use to define fatherhood are based on more traditional perceptions of fatherhood. The traditional types of fathers are described below.

Here are the three basic types of Dads. –

1. The Involved dad

This is the dad who is really present...